My 14 year old wants 4 more facial piercings, bringing the total to 8

[peacelovefaith88]

Personally, it doesn't bother me. So long as he keeps them clean, I don't mind. But I'm afraid that he'll be judged by others.

He currently has both eyebrows pierced, septum, and a piercing in each ear. Now he wants a nostril piercing, second piercings in each ear, and a conch (?) piercing. He says it makes him feel more confident (which I don't understand).

Would you judge me as a bad mom if you saw my kid?

 

[sadpaanda]

@peacelovefaith88 I have had multiple nipple rings, multiple eyebrow rings, multiple labrets (lip rings), tounge piercings (simultaneously), and a prince albert.

Yes. There are people that will judge your child. Yes, there are people that will judge you. They will think he is untrustworthy and they will think you are a bad parent.

How do I feel? I think it's none of my damn business what you and your kid do. I would not let my own 14 year old get piercings, because I think he is too young to understand the consequences piercings might potentially have. But that's my kid.

 

[bjjwa]

@peacelovefaith88 It sounds like a lot already. I would try to teach a little patience. Have them wait till they are 18 for more.

 

[jdbrucker]

@peacelovefaith88 The nice thing about piercings is that he can remove them if he changes his mind. If it makes him more confident now, I don't see an issue.

People will always find things to be judgy about, that's their problem.

 

[damarisbelieves]

@jdbrucker My mom thought that too. They actually leave pretty wicked little skin tubes and you have to have acid treatments to close the holes.

Dont recommend anyone let their child pierce their face. As a kid who was allowed to. I wish I would have had tats instead that were at least hideable.

 

[truthsearcher63]

@jdbrucker If only the rose colored glasses were that opaque, especially for a 14 year old! Being the source of ridicule, comment, bullying comment and daily torment is excruciating for even the most tough minded students. The parent is the adult, with infinite more wisdom, and the ability to see how the future might be shaped. It’s the parent’s responsibility to guide the child. The key word here is CHILD.

 

[dkette1957]

@peacelovefaith88 You're allowed to do whatever you want to do, but to be completely honest I would be less than thrilled if my kid were hanging out with your kid.
My daughter begged and begged for piercings, tattoos, drastic hair cuts- we made her wait until she was 18 then let her get her nose pierced and a small tattoo. She said she's grateful we didn't let her do all of those things she wanted when she was 14-17.

I know she's legally an adult now and can legally get whatever she wants in our state- but it's been explained to her that until she's on her own health insurance and paying her own bills that's she's not allowed to make those kinds of decisions without discussing it with us

 

[peacelovefaith88]

@dkette1957 Lots of really nice people have piercings...

 

[dkette1957]

@peacelovefaith88 I agree with you. I'm not saying anything bad about anyone with piercings - I had my tongue pierced in my 20's even... But you asked for my opinion and I gave it to you

 

[peacelovefaith88]

@dkette1957 I understand. I just think it's sad that you would assume my son was some sort of bad influence just because of some piercings. He's actually really nice. Plays 2 instruments. Just finished playing for a statewide music competition that he had to audition for. Likes to draw and sings show tunes.

 

[jordan_tdwp]

@peacelovefaith88 I was the kid who was friends with the kids with piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, etc. My mom was the mom who thought they were bad influences. They were pretty wonderful, supportive friends who never peer pressured anyone. I wanted the drastic haircuts and dyed hair but wasn’t allowed until my junior/senior year of high school and even that was limited.

I’m in my 40’s now and my preferences haven’t changed much, haha. I’d be fine with my kid being friends with yours, piercings and all, but I can also see the hesitancy it may bring from other parents just from growing up with one who was wary. My mom ended up chilling out quite a bit and we both were able to see each others’ viewpoints about it all. Turns out she was bullied a lot as a kid for her differences and she didn’t want that for me.

I think body modifications are far more accepted now than they’ve ever been but there will always be people who see the mods before the person. As long as your son recognizes that and can overcome it, he should be fine.

Edit: And if he’s able to keep his piercings clean and heal them well, he’s light years ahead of most teenagers in terms of hygiene and caring for himself!

 

[dkette1957]

@peacelovefaith88 I don't think your kid is a bad influence... In fact, probably a much better influence than my kid is. I think my kid has no spine and will want whatever their friends have. I don't think poorly of you kid whatsoever - my kid, on the other hand....

 

[ansje]

@dkette1957 So she doesn't get full bodily autonomy until she is established in a high-paying career that provides healthcare?

 

[dkette1957]

@ansje I mean, we are providing her with BC and don't stop her from being sexually active... She has bodily autonomy... But, yes, we are parenting her and forcing her to discuss permanent appearance altering decisions with us because she is a teenager and teenagers are complete morons.

 

[tom4508mfkd]

@peacelovefaith88 You are not a bad mom for letting him discover and explore his own appearance.
As long as he knows how to care for them, I would let him.

My daughter did a ton of piercing and tattoos by hand. I told her to go to a professional, we paid for one, but she likes to do her own. Ugh.

 

[jillionfish]

@peacelovefaith88 My 14 yr old daughter got her head shaved all underneath and bluish/green hair.
Also in 2 wks she is graduating IOP and getting her first of what I know will be many facial piercings, so no judgment at all from me. If anyone else judge send them a child support bill
I only care about tongue rings bc I am paying dental
Bills so thats a no for me, they can wait until 18 for that.
My 16 yr old son was asked from his new boss to remove his earring. He found a new job instead.
Tattoos because they are more permanent, is on a case by case basis.

 

[peacelovefaith88]

@jillionfish I told my son that I'll allow the new piercings, but no more until he's 18. His hair is also bluish-green. Well, bluish-green in the front, and dark brown in the back.

 

[waterpalnts]

@peacelovefaith88 No. My 15 year old has 2 facial piercings (septum and nose piercing) and both ears pierced. Shes looking at getting a second ear piercing and belly button pierced next. They are old enough to make most decisions about their body and we support her.

 

[dlcfsm]

@peacelovefaith88 Don't think about being judged. Think about what makes ur kid feel good and makes them happy. If ur kid is happy so are u.

 

[katrina2017]

@peacelovefaith88 Interesting. We don't allow peircings. We want our daughter to grow up clean and free of anything that could leave scars/ink or gender alterations while her brain is still developing into maturity which they are 25 before the brain is fully mature. I really doubt I will have any say when she moves out but we told her she can do what she wants after she moves out. I will still love her unconditionally. She has already grown out of the gender alteration desires, maybe that will change in the future but she's pretty into her feminine self right now.

As long as I can remember I always wanted a tattoo. I waited til I was 27 for one so I wouldn't regret it, I don't but I hate the art if the tattoo. We may get one together after she is on her own. Oh she wanted stretched ears too, we said no now she doesn't want that anymore either. She doesn't fight tooth and nail for this stuff though. She would love peircings but I want her to experience life without alterations until she finds herself, gets a job and see's how people treat her without it then when she gets older she can choose on her own if she wants to deal with the discrimination she may or may not have to face.

At one point she wanted a tattoo gun, that was a hard no. Especially after I saw a video about a beautiful girl who got a gun at a young age, she was covered in tattos by the age 25. She still has so many years to go and tattoos fade.

I see kids with peircings all the time. I don't like to think I judge because idc what other people do, this is just what I do. I can say, I think if you give in it will esculate which they follow that path as they know it. If it causes EXTREME distress in the kid, I think I would get counciling and find out if there are deeper issues and maybe be a little more lenient but I wouldn't allow it otherwize. But I haven't had to go that far.