I got Taylor Swift tickets for me and my 14 y.o. daughter and she doesn’t want me to go

[noelotus2]

@tozirereers1974 Especially one that big. It was tough to navigate through the crowds and all that.

 

[soberarthur]

@noelotus2 And the coworker probably would not be thrilled

 

[katrina2017]

@tozirereers1974 .

 

[ohageman5]

@caterpillar5 You bought the tickets for YOU and your daughter, not your daughter and her friend. One of those tickets is yours. Your daughter can choose to use her ticket and go with you or your daughter can choose to stay home with her friend while you go with someone else or no one. If your daughter goes, don't let her sour the fun for you while there. It will be your choice if you let her emotions ruin yours for the night. I wouldn't be mad at the kids for asking this. They're 14. Parents do not have to give up everything for their kids. This is one I would not give up.

 

[simonwallace]

@caterpillar5 The “friend” begging you for your ticket is inappropriate. This is for you and your daughter. I know this is hurting your feelings, but stay on course. This will be a great night for you too - your daughter will appreciate this concert with you, if not right this moment, she will later. They are good at hurting our feelings

 

[mcrkilljoy]

@caterpillar5 Nip this in the bud and turn the situation around.

Tell your daughter you are going to the concert because you're a fan. That's why you have purchased two tickets. You have another ticket to spare as you have decided to invite someone and enjoy the concert together. But you not going is not an option.

Suggest your daughter to give her ticket to her friend instead, and that you can enjoy the concert with Jane.

That will help your daughter understand what she's doing, and when she realizes her own going is at risk, they will stop it.

Teenagers are selfish and insensitive and entitled, because their whole lives they have seen us, moms, putting them first and making sacrifices to benefit them. They don't think of us as people similar to them, they think we're made of some different material.

 

[hallfoundation]

@mcrkilljoy This is a really good approach.

 

[stefancazacu36]

@caterpillar5 "If you'd rather spend time with your friends I can get someone else to go, you guys can go another time"

 

[tours]

@caterpillar5 I bet the friend is pressuring your daughter and it’s not that your daughter doesn’t want to go with you.

 

[movmaker]

@caterpillar5 This should be an in person conversation. Where she can see the hurt you feel and hear it in your tone. She needs to see and hear the impact to grasp it's rude. Have a sit down talk and ex0lain both the social etiquette and the expectations that won't change. You and her. Mom/daughter time.

 

[john3322]

@caterpillar5 Unfortunately it’s age appropriate for 14 year old girls to be self centered but wow it hurts. I would tell your daughter that if her friend texts you anymore about taking your ticket then you will go with your friend/sister/someone else and they can both stay home. Easier said than done though

 

[joseph92]

@caterpillar5 I would start by asking your daughter if she held two tickets and gave one to her friend, but then her friend's boyfriend found out about it. Then boyfriend figured they should go together instead, so he started asking your daughter over and over if she could not just go and give the ticket to the boyfriend. Would she think that would be a cool move by the boyfriend?

Or reverse it anyway it would make sense with her current friend group.

I mean your kid has to know this isn't right, but because it's "mom" it's ok. But your daughter is forgetting you have feelings and your ALSO A FAN. I hope you make it clear to her that you're hurt by this. I can't stand it when kids grow up and refuse to admit their parents are people too, not perfect ideals with no emotion who's only purpose in life is to help their kids. Obviously we do what we can this reaches over the line, and your daughter needs to know there's a line.

 

[pastorben]

@caterpillar5 That’s a tough one. If you bought tickets, because you wanted to see the concert also - I’d just tell her that. And ask her if she still wants to go with you? Or if she’d rather give her ticket away.

 

[csi40]

@caterpillar5 (Edited once for clarity)

Yeah I agree with all I’m seeing said here. That’s not appropriate. I have a 13 y/o boy and I’m so surprised at how forward kids are now - asking/demanding things from me when I’m not even their parent! It makes things really awkward.

I’ve been fortunate to be able to reach out to the parents separately and they’ve been in total agreement and were able to take care of it from their end. I bet your daughter’s friends parents don’t know this is happening, and if you just send a really chill call or text to them saying, “hey just want to give the heads up, I got tix for TS for me and my daughter and your daughter is understandably interested in going herself! She’s asking for my ticket but I’ve told her that unfortunately it’s a date night I’ve planned for me and my daughter. If you could help her understand this time is a mom-daughter trip, I’d appreciate it. We’ll plan something special for the girls soon!” they’d take care of the rest.

If they don’t… well that will suck and you’ll prob just need to tell both girls in person that it isn’t an option and to stop asking.

 

[mommaof5]

@caterpillar5 It takes an adult with money to buy those tickets. I could see my daughter doing this to me, so I'd show her just how much I spent on them and give her some type of value/ equivalent she could understand.

I work hard for this luxury, and I choose who goes, not you.

 

[jesuslovesus15]

@caterpillar5 I'd let her know that you (surely) also have friends who would love to attend, and you made the obvious choice to invite her over them. You both may have disappointed friends, but, in the end... you bought them for you and her. I (35f) had the best night with my daughter (13)... you deserve that moment. Guilt free. She will forget all about the friend the instant you get there.

 

[iamwhatyoumademe1129]

@caterpillar5 “I understand that you and your friend would like to go together. But I purchased these tickets for you and I. I will be going to the concert, and I’d like you to come with me and have a great time. If you don’t want to come though, that’s ok. Let me know and I’ll find someone else to go with me.”

 

[sparrowfeet]

@caterpillar5 Oh mama. These things hurt. The first time my son chose to ride the track bus home from a game rather than ride home with me, I was so hurt — and that was just the beginning. I once on a whim bought soccer tickets for a once in a lifetime event, and later realized my son would have rather gone with his best friend. Ouch, right?
This is hard because I don’t think you should have to give up your ticket if it is important to you. Ideally you could get a ticket for you and your sister as well. I wouldn’t focus too much on it being ‘rude’ though, because really, as much as it hurts, it is normal at this age for her to prefer being with her friends.

 

[caterpillar5]

@sparrowfeet Thank you for this. Overall I am really hurt and I think that’s where I’m struggling because I was trying to plan a fun mom daughter night doing something she wants to do and I feel like I just got slapped in the face.

 

[sparrowfeet]

@caterpillar5 Things might be different with mothers and daughters, and I am not trying to be depressing, but I described the years from 15 to 18 with my son as living with someone who was trying to break up with me all the time. And, there is a certain amount of that which does need to happen. It is painful— and something we don’t talk about enough IRL.

Just last night my son took his gf to see a particular movie that my husband and I were going to see with him (my husband agreed to go, and he never goes to movies). Was my husband hurt by this— no. Not even a tiny bit. Was I? Yeah, a little. Even at 19 it still stings a bit.