thomasmagda47
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@ajewelinhiscrown How often does 7 year old get 1 on 1 parent time without siblings around?
I Feel Like I Am Drowning and I Don’t Know How To Parent My 7 y/o
- Thread starter ajewelinhiscrown
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- life stay-at-home parents
@ajewelinhiscrown Sounds like maybe you’re over scheduled and doing too much. Kids don’t necessarily need extracurricular activities- esp when young. If it’s too exhausting for you and if the kids aren’t super into it or are also exhausted then don’t do the extracurricular activities. You also need to have limits. I would not have went back to get more boxes for the playground. Sometimes kids don’t get what they want and they need to learn that and they get upset bc of it but you’re job is to just keep your cool and help then move past it. Try to find a way to take care of yourself so you can feel calm when the kids have a meltdown. Walk away for a min, breathe etc. also it’s ok to just turn on the tv sometimes if you’re exhausted. You need to take care of yourself- take alone time and breaks when you can, get out of the house without the kids-so you have more bandwidth when taking care of the kids. It’s a hard job!
@ajewelinhiscrown First of all, you are not failing. It’s HARD.
I also have a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and an 18-month old. I feel like you just accurately described a day in my life. The dirt on the toy (that is HERS but her sibling played with and GOT DIRTY, right??) the broken down box, these would absolutely create a meltdown for her.
A lot of the time these behaviours are due to hunger or fatigue. I throw food at these kids as soon as they get in the car after school, that definitely helps. And after dinner they get to unwind by playing Nintendo or watching tv before bed. I don’t usually do playground on school nights, it tends to be too much.
I don’t know, we’re all just winging it and trying our best. But please don’t tell yourself you’re failing cause you’re not. I have friends with kids at the same ages and trust me we are ALL dealing with the same thing. This too shall pass.
I also have a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and an 18-month old. I feel like you just accurately described a day in my life. The dirt on the toy (that is HERS but her sibling played with and GOT DIRTY, right??) the broken down box, these would absolutely create a meltdown for her.
A lot of the time these behaviours are due to hunger or fatigue. I throw food at these kids as soon as they get in the car after school, that definitely helps. And after dinner they get to unwind by playing Nintendo or watching tv before bed. I don’t usually do playground on school nights, it tends to be too much.
I don’t know, we’re all just winging it and trying our best. But please don’t tell yourself you’re failing cause you’re not. I have friends with kids at the same ages and trust me we are ALL dealing with the same thing. This too shall pass.
grand_commander_zhou_ziyu
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@ajewelinhiscrown My oldest is 6 & when she becomes whiny & emotional, I know it’s time for her to go to bed. Arguing with her is useless. If your 7year old has a full day of school (no naps in big kid school) then I would try putting her to bed earlier. Sundays & sometimes Mondays are a little rough from the weekend but by Tuesday, my daughter will go to bed earlier because she’s exhausted. If your 7 yr old went to school then had a club afterwards, she probably is just tired but you know how kids fight it. Once my kid gets in bed after being so emotional, she is usually asleep in 5 minutes.
On nights when we have extracurricular activities, I usually skip the park. When we do go, I tell my girls I put a timer on my phone so when it goes off, it’s time to go (like 20 minutes). It doesn’t matter how long they are there, they are just happy to be there.
Brushing their teeth (youngest is 4) is hard but I started a thing to make it fun by pulling Elmo Brush Your Teeth Song on YouTube & I hold it up & we all brush our teeth together listening to it.
Don’t give up or feel like a failure, we all do & it’s frustrating but when you take a moment & think about what great kids you have & how precious this time is with them, it’s worth it.
On nights when we have extracurricular activities, I usually skip the park. When we do go, I tell my girls I put a timer on my phone so when it goes off, it’s time to go (like 20 minutes). It doesn’t matter how long they are there, they are just happy to be there.
Brushing their teeth (youngest is 4) is hard but I started a thing to make it fun by pulling Elmo Brush Your Teeth Song on YouTube & I hold it up & we all brush our teeth together listening to it.
Don’t give up or feel like a failure, we all do & it’s frustrating but when you take a moment & think about what great kids you have & how precious this time is with them, it’s worth it.
@ajewelinhiscrown Ngl, it sounds like you are catering to a child. She’s calling the shots.
ETA I agree with everyone else. Just let her play. And I’m not saying you’re failing at all.
ETA I agree with everyone else. Just let her play. And I’m not saying you’re failing at all.
katrina2017
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@ajewelinhiscrown Sending serious internet hugs, as my 7 year old daughter acts the exact same way. It's been so bad I've been waiting for a truck to hit me so I don't have to take her abuse every day (she says horrible things to me, hits me, makes threats to do things to make my day go worse, nobody wants to play with her because she's so mean and bossy, she refuses to take care of her hygiene). I have counselling in line and I'm signing up for a parenting class, but if I can't help her change I don't know what to do. Watching this thread for real solutions.
@ajewelinhiscrown Could your 7 year old possibly be neurodivergent?
ajewelinhiscrown
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@ajewelinhiscrown All I can say is, I feel your pain. I hope you get a break, even if it's just a day out by yourself x
@ajewelinhiscrown I’m so sorry. Sounds like my kiddo who is now 11. He’s always been highly sensitive and more high needs than his peers. When he starts really struggling, I ask him to HALT: am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? We expand on each thing and usually it boils down to not eating consistently enough or feeling lonely (like needing peer time). Sometimes we do bedtime early because he’s so tired… sometimes he’s emotional because we as parents are grouchy.
Anyway I definitely agree with maybe seeing a family therapist and seeing if there isn’t anything more affecting your kiddo. Beyond that, I recommend snacks. Endless snacks.
You aren’t a failure and although I won’t say it gets easier, it’ll change.
Anyway I definitely agree with maybe seeing a family therapist and seeing if there isn’t anything more affecting your kiddo. Beyond that, I recommend snacks. Endless snacks.
You aren’t a failure and although I won’t say it gets easier, it’ll change.matrixofgod
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katrina2017
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ajewelinhiscrown
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@reneewly Thank you. I appreciate you. With my 7 y/o I think it is mostly hunger. I got her some fries on the walk home before going right out to the playground, but I should have taken them all home and stayed there and made her a cheeseburger. That’s what I did today.
She absolutely needs hot food relatively often. We got home fine today from school but honestly she had been eating a lollipop and right near home without asking me for a wipe or a napkin (which I had with me!) she walks up to a completely empty bistro and takes one of the napkins from the table setting and wipes her mouth with it.
She’s never done this before. I was mortified. Three seconds later the manager or whoever came out and she started saying to my 7 y/o that she can’t do that and as soon as she saw I was already admonishing her for this completely inappropriate behavior, she calmed way down and said it’s ok, don’t worry about it, etc. I think the manager before she saw me maybe thought the parent or nanny or whoever was with my 7 y/o and momentarily out of her view from inside the restaurant condoned that behavior, which I clearly did not. She forgave us and we continued home where I made 7 a cheeseburger.
She absolutely needs hot food relatively often. We got home fine today from school but honestly she had been eating a lollipop and right near home without asking me for a wipe or a napkin (which I had with me!) she walks up to a completely empty bistro and takes one of the napkins from the table setting and wipes her mouth with it.
She’s never done this before. I was mortified. Three seconds later the manager or whoever came out and she started saying to my 7 y/o that she can’t do that and as soon as she saw I was already admonishing her for this completely inappropriate behavior, she calmed way down and said it’s ok, don’t worry about it, etc. I think the manager before she saw me maybe thought the parent or nanny or whoever was with my 7 y/o and momentarily out of her view from inside the restaurant condoned that behavior, which I clearly did not. She forgave us and we continued home where I made 7 a cheeseburger.
@ajewelinhiscrown I’m super confused. It’s wrong to get/use a napkin? I would think it’s positive that she wants to wipe her mouth? Genuinely asking.
Edit: nvm, you must mean like a cloth napkin. I was thinking you meant like a napkin dispenser from the middle of a table.
Edit: nvm, you must mean like a cloth napkin. I was thinking you meant like a napkin dispenser from the middle of a table.
ajewelinhiscrown
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@mendicant Oh yes it was a set table with a cloth napkin that was holding utensils lol
katrina2017
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@ajewelinhiscrown How many hours is she in school including after school club? I know a couple who’s seven year old spends ten hours a day in school plus after school care, she has constant meltdowns and has just been medicated.
While i agree with some of the other comments, these meltdowns are not the norm for a seven year old, how would you feel if you were expected to be in the office for extended hours every day- I’d be an over strung wreck.
A child’s job is play, try letting her unwind and have some unstructured time at home and see if things improve
Edit. I just read through your history and honestly? There is an awful lot of toxicity in your home, children are very susceptible to it. She’s showing a trauma response, please seek family therapy
While i agree with some of the other comments, these meltdowns are not the norm for a seven year old, how would you feel if you were expected to be in the office for extended hours every day- I’d be an over strung wreck.
A child’s job is play, try letting her unwind and have some unstructured time at home and see if things improve
Edit. I just read through your history and honestly? There is an awful lot of toxicity in your home, children are very susceptible to it. She’s showing a trauma response, please seek family therapy