I’m the MoH in a wedding where the flower girl has HFM

[todaystheday]

Pretty much as the title says

I’m the MoH at a wedding which I will be at with my 2 and a half year old and I don’t know what to do

The bride told me the flower girl has HFM since last Sunday (disease I’ve been avoiding like the plague) and the wedding is at a resort (which is already paid for)

I don’t know what to do with my son, there is no one that can look after him and we came a long way for my bff and I don’t want to disappoint her or make her special day about my son or myself

Any advice is welcomed, what can I do? What would you do?

 

[dariusperez]

@todaystheday Pedi NP here coming in hot with possibly unpopular opinion. The guidelines (CDC, NHS etc) for return to school with hfmd are that the child is afebrile and no uncontrolled drooling with mouth sores. If it’s been a week for the flower girl, then more than likely all of those criteria are met.
HFMD may feel scary and it can really suck but it also is an incredibly common and prevalent childhood illness. My 3 kids got it last year while we were traveling abroad (started with the baby who got it from daycare). It was rough but we survived. My husband and I didn’t get it nor did any of the other people we visited. My 4 year old did look like a leper for weeks as the scabbed sores slowly healed. But he went back to school and there were no issues.
I think the pandemic also kind of warped our collective psyche about contagious illnesses that are kind of part of life. You have probably come into contact with all manner of illnesses during your travel to the resort! You make the best call for your family, but my opinion is try not to sweat it and have fun celebrating your friend!

 

[todaystheday]

@dariusperez Thank you so much you are very kind. The school said she could go back to classes tomorrow so I guess that’s good too

 

[lifethatwins]

@todaystheday I would check what her current symptoms actually are before making any decisions. She might not be contagious anymore.

If she is still contagious, I would inform the bride of exactly how shitty the symptoms can be, both in children and adults (can you imagine having HFM sores on your privates during your honeymoon?). And that even adults and children who have already had it can get it again if the strain is different. And I would explain to her that if the flower girl is there, you cannot be, since you cannot potentially expose your child to this illness.

Then let the chips fall where they may.

 

[todaystheday]

@lifethatwins Thank you so much

 

[mariah_desiree]

@todaystheday Ok this is so weird that the bride is just letting an infectious kid come to the wedding?

 

[georgieporgy12]

@mariah_desiree That’s what it sounds like. I’m wondering if the bride doesn’t know what HFM actually is

 

[todaystheday]

@georgieporgy12 She doesn’t

 

[georgieporgy12]

@todaystheday If I were you, I’d let the bride know the details of HFM

 

[todaystheday]

@georgieporgy12 I did, but it’s still her niece

 

[georgieporgy12]

@todaystheday My niece and nephew (flower girl and ring bearer) had HFM during my wedding and I told them not to come. So that’s on the bride too, tbh.

 

[billwalker48]

@todaystheday Anyone who has HFM or has recently been exposed needs to stay home. The virus can be contagious for weeks, and it takes time to start showing symptoms. Flower girl's mom etc could have it and they wouldn't even know yet.

I don't play about HFM. It put me in the ER. It gave another person I know of permanent vision impairment. It can be really awful in adults.

 

[mariah_desiree]

@billwalker48 My kid was fine but my tonsils turned black.

My friends kid needed IV fluids cause he was in so much pain.

Def wouldn’t intentionally expose myself if I had the heads up

 

[billwalker48]

@mariah_desiree It was truly awful, and I dealt with the effects for months afterward. I felt like I was dying of some old-timey disease or something. My son, on the other hand, was totally fine when he had it.

 

[sen_]

@todaystheday I would still go. The CDC says that a child could go back to school/daycare once they don't have a fever, no uncontrolled drooling with mouth sores, and feel well enough to participate in activities. That's good enough for me. Also adults rarely get HFM (although the incidence is rising). That's because most people get it as kids where it's much more mild. My daughter had it when she was 10 months old. She was sick for about 3 days and miserable but symptoms were relatively mild in comparison to all the other childhood illnesses they get. I never took any special precautions while caring for her and didn't get it.

https://www.cdc.gov/hand-foot-mouth/about/prevention.html#:~:text=Because%20HFMD%20is%20normally%20mild,to%20participate%20in%20classroom%20activities.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases...d-mouth-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20353035#

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases...d-mouth-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20353035#

 

[creamsoda]

@sen_ It was never a thing in my area when we were kids nor was it common in the area of the country my husband grew up in. The incidence is definitely rising in adults and most of the time I hear of a kid getting it the parents get it too even if they’ve already had it recently. Most of the time the adults get it it’s because it actually wasn’t common when they were kids. I know I had never even heard of it until a few years ago. Regardless, if the child’s symptoms are gone (sometimes by a week, sometimes not until 10 days but OP can at least ask what the girl’s current condition is) then everyone should be okay to attend and OP can just keep her kid away from the flower girl as an extra precaution.

 

[lifethatwins]

@creamsoda And, there are a few different strains of HFM. Even if you had it as a child, you could still get it again if you’re exposed to a different strain.

 

[todaystheday]

@sen_ Thank you so much

 

[melissav6]

@todaystheday I doubt she is still contagious if she has had it for a week. You know a call to your peds doc could provide way better information than random people on the Internet