I’m in tears…

@jahlive Thank you, this was very very helpful and encouraging. I appreciate you sharing with me.
These past few nights I’ve definitely noticed how the sleep deprivation affects not just us, but my baby too.
 
@bobezeh Just here to say - It’s also okay if this plan doesn’t work and you need to try another. Baby sleep (like everything else) is a series of planning, adjusting and moving on. Give yourself a bit more time and then take a break to reflect what’s not working and how you could fix it. It’s also very possible that what your kid needs to sleep better is a bit at odds with what you feel comfortable with. There’s obviously different ways to proceed if you find yourself there but I would be clear with yourself if that becomes the case.
 
@bobezeh For me it was around 6 months that things broke. But the TLDR is that a combo of object permanence and development meant transferring was not an option because of the boomerang of wakeups (which got worse and worse the more I rocked, and even with cosleeping). For us, it was a slow process of gentle methods and finally some controlled crying. But the result was incredible. Kiddo clearly needed space to figure out how to fall asleep themselves and all the rocking and patting I was doing wasn’t allowing that. Yes tears were involved but they were minimal and part of the frustration of learning something new.
 
@bobezeh Basically we laddered down methods slowly over a couple of weeks until we could get babe to sleep mostly with a hand on chest in their crib. The goal was the least pick ups possible and no rocking (but sometimes there were set backs). When we got to the place where they could go to sleep with just a hand we did a fuss it out for 15 mins. It failed, I went in rocked, put down awake, hand back on chest. The next night I did another fuss it out 15. This time it worked. From there on we put down awake and it was great at bedtime but early wake ups starting being an issue (false starts). Truthfully we had to handle those as much as possible with no intervention and tears. If they escalated we would pick up put down, hand on chest etc but there was much more progress with letting babe figure it out.

At 11 months now I have zero regrets. My kid sleeps so much better, is way more rested and most importantly wakes up happy in the crib, rolls over and goes back to sleep without screaming their lungs out because I’m not there. I actually think all the rocking and sleep help had gotten in the way of developing that sense of independent safety and I did a way bigger service in sleep training.

Hope it helps! Good luck.
 
@bobezeh Im sending you a hug in solidarity. It’s SO HARD to hear him cry. I feel like my heart is breaking into a million pieces. We are currently struggling in the early days of CIO and dealing with feeling of guilt that our baby is calling out to us in distress but we are ignoring him. However, after CIO I am atleast getting 4-5 hours of sleep at a stretch most nights and I feel like I’m a much better Mom to him during the day coz of this. I feel more human and all of my suicidal thoughts have vanished. I’m just hoping this works for you and us and all the other extremely tired parents out there. Many people say it gets better and I really hope it does.
 
@zigelets Thanks. I know there’s no choice but for it to get better eventually… but that’s easier said than done. I sometimes get a little annoyed when people give me that knowing look and say how it’s part of having a baby and they all went through it. We quickly forget how it feels to be running on fumes — but that’s probably a good thing. I’m so glad your plan is working and you’re sleeping.
 
@bobezeh Yup I get it. Better days just seem impossible right now. I’m sorry if what I said made it worse. Hope things work out for you sooner rather than later and you are able to get the rest you need.
 
@bobezeh I cried tonight too (it’s 2:30 here) because my 7 month old has been waking up more the last couple weeks than he did as a newborn and I’m exhausted. He’s old enough where we could nightwean at least some (I don’t mind 1 feed and I thought we had gotten it to where I just did a snooze feed around 4:30-5 and it was great but now it’s all gone to hell) but he just screams for hours when I try so I end up hitting my wall (and sometimes crying like tonight) and feeding him anyways like I’m doing now.
 
@bobezeh hi i have a 5 month old too, its almost 12 am here and the dog barked and woke her up, she’s only been sleeping 1.5-3 hours at a time. i’ve tried a few times but cant stomach her crying. this is new for us as only 2 weeks ago she was sleeping 6-8 hours at a time. i’m going to wait a few more weeks as she just doesn’t seem ready. i’m giving myself grace as i feel like i only read about the unicorn babies on here. i don’t think going through a rough sleep patch = you complaining. damn this to me is harder than newborn phase. at least we have each other. trust your gut and your baby. i think these things take months
 
@hiskid47 Yeah, it’s just so hard. My husband and I revamped our plan over the past hour in the middle of the night. I’m lucky to have a supportive husband who can stay sane and think straight when our baby is crying…
On another note, though, your baby sounds like a unicorn to me for ever sleeping 6-8 hours 🤣 I think our lifetime record is 5.5 and it happened once…
I definitely think we get the exact perfect baby for us and our circumstances and for some reason this is really an area that I get to struggle with. Thankfully not much else
 
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