Hubby frequent long naps

[megan120711]

Would you be pissed? He works 10 hour days/4 days a week and I have 2 part-time jobs and do a lot of running around with our kids. I do get more time at home alone but it’s not a ton more. Almost every time we are home together for the day he goes to “lay down with the kids”, they get up and he stays asleep for sometimes over 3 hours and I spend the afternoon taking care of the kids solo. Then we do dinner and bedtime like normal. I would LOVE 3 hours of alone time in the afternoon but he doesn’t consider it “alone time” because he’s sleeping. Validate me.

 

[willby]

@megan120711 Your concerns are totally legitimate - but regular daytime sleeping may also be a sign of a medical issue, especially sleeping that long during the daytime. Speaking from my own experience, I regularly woke up feeling unrested and often slept during the day if I could. After I got diagnosed with apnea I began using a cpap. My energy levels are now ‘normal’ and I don’t sleep during the day. It has been a game changer and critical as we have now have three kids under 5yrs and this would have put even more pressure on our partnership. It could be worth looking into a sleep study. They’re very easy to do at home and could be a no-lose situation - either it’s a medical issue or an behavioral one. Either way you know what it is and can take steps to address it.

 

[faith11238206]

@megan120711 I believe you have a reason to be upset. I work a demanding job, and my wife is a SAHM. When I am home, I am there to be present with my family. There are also plenty of physical things around the home/property that need completing. I would love that rest, but my responsibility is to my wife and children.

 

[norsemen]

@megan120711 I was pretty frustrated with my husband napping so much too. Then we found out he had black mold and parastites in his blood, literally feeding off all his energy and nutrients. Not to mention he often gets about 5 hours of sleep at night and wakes up very early to go to work.

 

[mynamechef]

@norsemen ...say what now?

 

[wren84]

@megan120711 If there isn’t an underlying health issue / depression I’d be pissed. If there is then I’d want him to get help.

 

[stateemil]

@megan120711 Yes, I would be pissed. This is absolutely not the dynamic in our home and it would not work for me.

 

[vote4waifu]

@megan120711 Is he doing a lot of manual labor? Night shifts? If it’s a desk job then I’d be pissed. Do you think he’s actually tired or is it an excuse for some me time?

 

[ck01]

@megan120711 I hear ya. We all need alone time. My husband chooses to use his on watching football (3+ hours every Sunday, and don’t anybody try to talk to him!) Yours uses his for super naps lol.

What helped me was talking to him and carving out time for him to return the favor. I don’t resent meeting his needs when he also meets mine. Sounds like it’s time for a calm, respectful conversation where you come prepared to discuss what you need to feel re-charged