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jime

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Hi I’m not a parent but a nanny. I take care of a 12 yo boy N. N has struggled with math for years his dad has tried to help but has hit a wall. I tested N’s basic math knowledge and I was shocked by how far behind he is. For an example I asked him what 9 divided by 9 is and he couldn’t tell me. I can help N but not to the degree that he needs. I have talked to his mom about my concerns for N’s future academic success in relation to mathematics. She said that they can’t afford a tutor and me. I told her that I rather N get tutoring then have this job. N’s mom has been giving me the cold shoulder. I need your advice Reddit on how to talk with N’s dad about the help N needs.

Additional details
N’s parents live together but they are not married and live almost completely separate lives.
N’s mom likes to bad mouth N’s dad to me in every conversation so I don’t feel I can trust her anymore
 
@jime It's great that you care but I fear you are going to be fighting a losing battle there. If the parents haven't spotted the problem already they aren't going to be interested enough to fix it. It sounds like the kid is so far behind I doubt a tutor for a couple of hours a week is going to fix the issue. It would need their parents sitting them down and getting them to do work as well and I doubt that would happen.

If you want to try your best bet is to pick the parent you trust the most and mention you played some maths games with the kid and you were surprised because they didn't do very well.
 
@jime Spend your nannying hours helping him learn elementary math. He doesn’t need a tutor for that.

Start with making sure he knows his math tables. The tables are the foundation of all math.

Make flash cards with him. Start with adding up to 12 + 12, then subtracting. Show him that adding and subtracting use the same number triads.

Repeat with multiplying, then dividing up to the 12s. Again, show him the number triads. It will take a few months and lots of repetition.
 
@jime Tell her that unless she gets a tutor you will quit. What he needs is above your pay grade, and besides, neither of us really believe it's an either/or situation here but a control struggle in their family.
 
@jime Why does a 12 year old need a nanny? What are you doing exactly? Don’t mean to be rude but it would help to understand the parents decision more.
 
@batcat I drive him from school to his house then make sure he doesn’t burn the place down with one of the zippos they have given him or slice open a part of himself with one of his military weapon replicas. I am also there to make sure he does his homework. I am with him for anywhere between 3 to 4 hours a day. I also take him to or supervise play dates, meal prep and occasionally take him to doctors appointments.
 
@jime Maybe you can find free resources online for him to do during/in addition to his homework time. See if the teacher has anything available after school. Sorry you’re going through this I’m sure you care about the boy.
 
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