How to read books with a small child who makes it impossible to read anything?

[qian]

I have a 1 year old daughter and I’m a native speaker of a very small European language while living the UK with my British husband. We do One Parent One Language with my husband speaking English and me speaking my native language to our daughter. My daughter also goes to an English-speaking nursery and sees her British family much more so my language is very much the minority language for her.

I have read lots of resources on raising a bilingual child and the importance of reading to your child every day is very clear. However, I don’t understand how to practically do this.

We have a lot of baby books with cardboard pages and pictures that my daughter loves to flip through and I always talk to her in my language about what’s on the page. However, she flips the pages so quickly that I struggle to even say a word about what’s on the page before she’s on the next one and 3 seconds later, she has finished flipping through the book.

Reading an actual book is completely impossible because she immediately climbs on top of me and starts flipping through and scrunching up the pages. I usually can’t even read a sentence. I’ve tried reading a book while she plays with toys, but the toys end up being so loud that they drown out my voice and I can’t get through the page because it’s so distracting.

With so much of the guidance focusing on reading, I’m feeling quite worried about my lack of ability to read to her. I do talk to her in my language all the time, point at things around us, describe the book etc, but this ends up being incredibly receptive and I feel like I’m not exposing her to new words or rich enough vocabulary.

How do other people do this? I feel like she won’t learn my language because of this, but am at a total loss for how to make it work. It’s worth adding that my language is so small that the opportunities for her to get other exposure are hard to come by.

 

[glitcher]

@qian Our kid didn’t actually sit down to read a book properly until he was 1.5 years old. Don’t worry too much about this aspect. Sing songs, rhymes, look at little picture dictionaries. You’re not doing any damage here

 

[aldredian]

@qian Bedtime routine. You make book reading part of the bedtime routine. That's how you get the daily reading in. Find some simple story books and read those for now.

See if once she's calmed down and primed for sleep if she'll sit still and read with you before bed.

If not, memorise a couple of simple books and recite it to her in the dark as she drifts off to sleep. We used to do that before our son was 1. We started the routine since he was 6 months. Looooooves books now. He'd throw a tantrum if we don't read him at least one book before bed.

 

[daniel109]

@aldredian This doesn’t work for us because my little one just wants to rip the pages, gets all hyped up, or gets bored and thinks its still playtime haha- i love the idea of memorising a book though!

 

[qian]

@daniel109 Yeah I have the same problem. Even though it’s bedtime, she won’t sit / lie on me quietly and wants to get super engaged with the book physically.

 

[aldredian]

@qian I'd still recommend trying this but if it doesn't work, memorise and recite in the dark. Or there are podcasts for kid's bedtime stories.

I vaguely do remember I could never get through a book with my son for the same reason but it got better as he got older. By 2, I could definitely read a full short story book with him.

That or buy board books. We had a lot of Eric Carle board books so they're very durable.

From Head to Toe, for example, I would act out the movements it mentioned in there and my son would find that funny. And it's translated in various languages.

I also had soft books.

E.g. https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010842914

Nice short stories you can act out using the little penguin. My son also ended up sleeping with the little penguin. He'd even tuck it into bed as well.

These books you don't have to worry about them getting torn to pieces. And really, that's probably all they could handle in terms of attention span.

If these books you're talking about can be torn to pieces, they're probably too long for babies anyway.

Even those simple baby books with picture and a single word on them can be reading as well. Just simple books is all you need as a start.

The books my husband and I would recite is "Goodnight Moon". I also recite another one (Chinese one. Well, it was originally Japanese). I can't remember the other one my husband would recite too. I think the reciting thing lasted probably well into 1.5yo. But by then, we were starting to be able to actually read stuff to him.

 

[barsomo]

@qian All kids are very different with this! My older daughter wouldn’t let me read to her until she was maybe 2, she just enjoyed turning the pages super fast. It didn’t matter what the situation, she was always a speed reader Around 2 she started to focus more on the contents of the books and now at 5 she demands at least 2 books every night to be read to her in my language (and hubby’s language). We also do OPOL with 2 minority languages at home and two majority languages in the community. My 5-year-old is fluent in all of them and the home languages are the strongest for now. So while reading is important, it’s not the only thing that matters! Keep doing what you’re doing and just give it some time, it will turn out fine

 

[qian]

@barsomo Thank you, this is really reassuring. My daughter is exactly like that, just wants to turn the pages incredibly fast. Hopefully it just means that she loves books and she will love reading them later on.

 

[barsomo]

@qian I’m sure it does! At that point as long as we cultivate their interest in books, that’s all that matters. They’ll be much more likely to pay attention and listen later. Good luck with everything

 

[wantingtoknow]

@qian I think your kid's response is very much developmentally appropriate. They have tiiiiny attention spans and they are learning a lot with their hands and their mouths. I agree that readalouds are the touchstone for bilingual upbringing, but maybe every day is a bit too much for a little toddler.

I remember when my kid was 1 reading a book to her was about as easy as changing her diaper, which was in turn as easy as chaging a cat's diaper. You keep at it. Having the kid interact with the book as an object, turning pages, biting it, is also part of literacy acquisition. It's frustrating, but it won't be like this forever.

I had a few favourite books that we read over and over: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business, a few other minority language books. Sometimes she'd be busy with something else and I'd just read aloud by her side (and so what if you get distracted? No one is judging your output!). Eventually, she laid eyes on one of the illustrations and said "butterfly" or whatever (I wish I remembered!).

Also, there's a big potential in storytelling beyond books. I bet by now you can tell some stories by heart. Or maybe record other family members reading aloud and play it for her. I swear by our Tonie Box, but a phone placed strategically out of hand also works!

 

[learnandbloom]

@qian For me at the beginning none of the book reading session was complex. More like me point at the hungry caterpillar and just goes like wow caterpillar with green body and red head (in my language) look at this red apple. Also it didn’t last through more than 2 min each time.

Edit: for a while when mine was 1ish i used really cheap board book with texture or each page with animal mouth cut holes to just attract the attention. Encouraged her to put hands through the holes to feel it. I hold it and show my mouth/ show her face etc. any dramatic and theatrical interaction really. Just to keep the page turning part interesting.

Also - let them pick a book in shop. At the start it does not have to be a book in your language. When reading it, just translate into your language. You can either write on the book or just translate it live.

In the end just keep on buying physical books (second hand preferably as some will almost definitely not survive). Make them available around.

I brought A LOT of books based on my childhood memories or just get ideas from shop’s best seller, just trying to see what tickle her interest.

If she babbled any particular words that can be found in book then i will get some for that topic (like elephant was good so Elmer. Octopus was mentioned then we got some etc.) (i like buying and collecting books myself so this is not a typical behaviour - just buy what you can and want)

 

[camidiscerns]

@qian My son didn't properly start sitting to read a book with me until this month, and he'll be 2 next Tuesday. They were always part of his nighttime routine and I'd continue to read the book out loud even if he wasn't paying attention. Now he wants to sit on my lap and listen to me read while helping to turn the pages. I think it'll come with time, just keep incorporating books into the routine.

 

[nedu]

@qian Mine isn’t interested in books either, so I narrate what I do whenever I carry my baby around the house. “Let’s do the dishes now! Here’s the water! Water. Wow, it’s water!”

 

[hannahgrace]

@qian We started with musical books! She actually sat down to listen. If you can find some with children's songs in your language, it can be real fun. Or classical music and you describe the illustrations while the baby listens / dances.

 

[prophetelijah]

@qian I wouldn’t give up on books. Songs and audiobooks are cool, but they shouldn’t replace books. She is just 1, you are at the very beginning of your language journey. Just keep reading and one day she will beg you to read 5 books before bed.

 

[ispain]

@qian How about listening to songs in your language? Singing them? Also audiobooks, maybe she is still a little young, but it sill come. I would also let her play with books on her own so she gets used to them and will let you also read them a bit more when she grows up a little more.

 

[need]

@qian I give my baby a book and then read a different book. His hands are occupied but he’s still hearing me speak and now we are both “reading.”

 

[follower_of_god]

@qian Routine, my boy is 8 months now but I’ve incorporated reading into our daily routine. He doesn’t like sitting still and tears the pages but that’s fine because I want books to be his friends!

 

[giants89]

@qian Why not read to her when she eats, gets bathed by your husband, and is settling down in her bed?