I already know about the r/fencesitter community — but I’m interested to hear from people here who have decided YES but are still waiting to try. It’s something I’ve been grappling with but we do have a timeline in place now and as we get closer I’m feeling my feet get cold. I thought people here might be able to offer a perspective I haven’t heard (it’s usually fencesitters or parents I’m talking with)
How do you know you want a child?
- Thread starter coconut85
- Start date
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- Tags
- waiting for baby
@coconut85 I am one of those people that hasn’t always ~loved~ kids and babies, but I know in my heart that I will be obsessed with my own.
To me, I think it is so so so special that one day there will be a little piece of myself and a little piece of my husband in this world and I just want to raise them up to be a really kind person.
To me, I think it is so so so special that one day there will be a little piece of myself and a little piece of my husband in this world and I just want to raise them up to be a really kind person.
prudence12
New member
@coconut85 I've always wanted to have a child. I think back when I was a child, it just seemed like the natural thing to do. But now that my husband and I are very close to starting to try, we've thought more about why we want children.
Personally, I am looking forward to basically watching a baby figure out how to be a good, little human: I am looking forward to teaching them things and watching them explore things on their own. I am looking forward to sharing both of our cultures with a child and having it experience two different cultures and languages. And I am looking forward to teaching it good values.
Personally, I am looking forward to basically watching a baby figure out how to be a good, little human: I am looking forward to teaching them things and watching them explore things on their own. I am looking forward to sharing both of our cultures with a child and having it experience two different cultures and languages. And I am looking forward to teaching it good values.
nathanielames
New member
@coconut85 I think anyone who wants a kid but has no experience with kids should go get some experience. I’ve been an infant nanny, a preschool teacher, a kindergarten teacher, a fifth grade teacher, and a camp counselor for teens. I love kids of all ages, love spending time with kids, love caring for kids, love staying home with kids…and I hate going out at night!
Sooooo many of my friends are having kids right now, and a lot of them have never been alone with a baby or in charge of a child before. A lot of them think they’re going to keep their same lifestyle after their kid is born.
I’ve only had one person actually tell me they regret having a child, and I knew they would because during the pregnancy, they kept insisting that that they were going to keep going out at night and living the same life they used to, and the baby would just come with them.
Society tells us that everyone (or at least all women!) should have kids, and that’s so untrue. Having a kid is a life choice, like…being a competitive swimmer or living on a farm or having your tongue split like that snake person who goes viral sometimes. And it’s a choice that changes every aspect of your day and your life.
Sooooo many of my friends are having kids right now, and a lot of them have never been alone with a baby or in charge of a child before. A lot of them think they’re going to keep their same lifestyle after their kid is born.
I’ve only had one person actually tell me they regret having a child, and I knew they would because during the pregnancy, they kept insisting that that they were going to keep going out at night and living the same life they used to, and the baby would just come with them.
Society tells us that everyone (or at least all women!) should have kids, and that’s so untrue. Having a kid is a life choice, like…being a competitive swimmer or living on a farm or having your tongue split like that snake person who goes viral sometimes. And it’s a choice that changes every aspect of your day and your life.
@coconut85 I’ve had a strong desire for children since I was like 3 years old. It’s always been the one thing I’ve wanted more than anything else in life. The number one goal and most fulfilling goal for me has always been to be a mother. I adore children. I just find them delightful and adorable. They’re just so lovely and sweet, hard to explain. The cuteness is similar to how a lot of people think puppies/kittens are cute, but there’s also something so lovely about kids. I feel like they’re just really sweet and like- ahhh I can’t think of the word. Like they have an altruistic nature to them? I’m blanking on a way to describe it, it’s just a feeling that evokes a desire in me to care for them and protect them. I’ve done a lot of work in childcare. I have a lot of patience for them. I just have a really strong maternal instinct. I cannot wait to have kids lol.
I had a very abusive childhood and I think part of my strong desire also stems from wanting to give a child the childhood I never had. That’s definitely a secondary part of the goal. I just want to give my child a really wonderful life. I want to parent them really well and make them feel loved and validated and cared about. And let them blossom into a wonderful happy person. And then do that 3x. It will be the greatest accomplishment of my life to be able to give children a supportive happy home that allows them to flourish and develop in a healthy way. And I’m so excited to meet them and watch their personalities grow. I mean- so cool to see them all have different personalities. And so rewarding to see how your care for them makes them happy and allows them to grow
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So, lol, combo of very strong instinctual maternal desire, finding kids really cute and sweet and having a lot of patience for them because I just see them as young and learning and innocent and in need of care and patience, and wanting to give another child the childhood little me never got to have.
I had a very abusive childhood and I think part of my strong desire also stems from wanting to give a child the childhood I never had. That’s definitely a secondary part of the goal. I just want to give my child a really wonderful life. I want to parent them really well and make them feel loved and validated and cared about. And let them blossom into a wonderful happy person. And then do that 3x. It will be the greatest accomplishment of my life to be able to give children a supportive happy home that allows them to flourish and develop in a healthy way. And I’m so excited to meet them and watch their personalities grow. I mean- so cool to see them all have different personalities. And so rewarding to see how your care for them makes them happy and allows them to grow
. So, lol, combo of very strong instinctual maternal desire, finding kids really cute and sweet and having a lot of patience for them because I just see them as young and learning and innocent and in need of care and patience, and wanting to give another child the childhood little me never got to have.