How do y’all do it?

@chadfrommudvayne Yeah, I get that. My husband and I tend to schedule sex, usually for weekend afternoons during kid naps, and we absolutely prioritize that over chores. But it's something you both need to engage in. Sex not happening is NOT a sign that the wife is failing. My hot take is that creating a pleasurable sex life actually falls more on the husband in traditional hetero relationships because the moms are responsible for so much mental load. If sex isn't happening he should be running you a bath and giving you a massage and shit
 
@chadfrommudvayne We have 3 under 3 so when he gets home he takes them outside to play, he feeds the animals, makes dinner, washes clothing/dryer, helps feed kids, bathes them (I dress them), bottles the baby (if I'm too tired to BF), this helps me get in the mood so much lol I get so turned on by his manliness in providing for us, and he compliments me and I get so shy and silly you'd think I'm a young girl and not a mature adult...
 
@chadfrommudvayne FTM with a 7 month old here. My partner just likes to feel sexy even if I have no intention of doing the deed that night, so I try to remember to intermittently pat their butt as I walk past them, or give them a wink, or ask who the handsome man in my kitchen is (spoiler: it's him).

That way when we get an hour to ourselves about once a week he's feeling appreciated and I've laid the groundwork for a good sesh for just the two of us
 
@chadfrommudvayne We take a nap at 9 once the kids are asleep then get up and play, finish chores, etc from 10:30/11 to 12/1am ... We get up at 7am for the day together.

Or we block off an hour when we both WFH.
 
@chadfrommudvayne It didn’t use to be a problem until my work shift changed and I have to wake up at 5am now. We’re both exhausted by the end of the day. He takes a longer lunch now and comes home in the middle of the day. We try to find time for each other then and on the weekends.
 
@chadfrommudvayne The kids go to bed and most nights that he’s home is just the two of us snuggling on the couch mindlessly scrolling our phones or watching something together. It’s nice getting a chance ti decompress and just be near each other with no kids interrupting
 
@chadfrommudvayne There are nights when we spend time together by watching a movie but we both decompress from the day in our own ways a lot of time. His is video games and mine is watching a show. We usually just text each other silly things during that time and then the weekends is when we spend more quality time together. When it was warm we would go to the park but now it's more just inside time playing and having fun together with our son.
 
@chadfrommudvayne I talk to my husband on the way home from work, and we usually cuddle and all of that after bedtime. We also sometimes just sit together in bed saying nothing. We are also sports fans, so we try to watch highlights and analysts takes after I get home from work
 
@chadfrommudvayne Instead of only sitting on the couch
Take a nice long shower together
Dress in a cute set of lingerie
Pour some wine
Cook a meal together in only your underwear
And watch a movie together with dinner
Then some passionate alone time
 
@chadfrommudvayne We’ve got a 3 year old and a 20 month old and we’ve had to redefine intimacy several times to account for the chaos of raising toddlers, developing our careers, and managing our household. We have daily FaceTime calls during our evening commutes, nightly decompression time (physically together but mentally apart), and weekly “movie nights” on Fridays (hint: we don’t watch the movie).

It took us the better part of a year to figure out a good rhythm for [re]connecting… and honestly, the driving force behind it was my paranoia about the health of our relationship. It’s tough trying to juggle your roles as a mother and a wife, but as long as you and your partner communicate and understand that this is just a phase, you’ll be fine.
 
@chadfrommudvayne We shower together.

Sometimes you just have to put the TV on. I remember my parents doing that. We all knew, because it was so obvious, but there's nothing wrong with them seeing health in your marriage.

One of my love languages is quality time. It's tough, but important. I heard somewhere that your spouse should come before the kids and it stuck with me. Been together 10, married 8 years.
 
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