How do y’all do it?

@chadfrommudvayne We have sex during nap time on the weekend. I have so much more energy in the middle of the day than at the end. Now that may mean that we're having sex only once a week... Maybe twice. But it's certainly better than none and the quality tends to be better lol
 
@chadfrommudvayne We fall apart together. Collapse onto the couch and cuddle while watching TV. It's not our ideal bonding activity (at least not ideally our only activity), but it's all we have. I've found that watching reality dating shows gives a lot of fuel to feel superior in our relationship, which is nice lol
 
@chadfrommudvayne Honest answer is... I go to bed by 8:30pm, because I'm pregnant and when I get up at 5am, I'll still have only gotten 5 hours of sleep.

The house is a mess. And it will stay a mess. I will think about it every day for hours, but I'll play a board game with my husband over the weekend while the kid naps instead of cleaning. And we'll do it because my husband and I deserve to be with each other sometimes.

And maybe I don't grade my schoolwork as fast as I should, or implement that COOL NEW project idea with my students. But we all go on a nice walk 5 times a week and talk because we like each other.
 
@chadfrommudvayne I have an almost 5 year old and an almost 9 month old. Nighttime is a mess. 😅 We do opposite bedtimes and I am thankful when my husband doesn't fall asleep putting our eldest down. I watch my own show and have a glass of wine/play the hard levels on our eldest games and then consider bed myself, then somehow we always stay up too late and regret it all in the morning. I need energy for spouse tips too because we invest so much in the kids and boy are we exhausted!
 
@chadfrommudvayne We shower together pretty regularly. Sometimes it leads to other things, sometimes it's just us hanging out naked and talking lol but we both need to shower and doing it together after bedtime for the kiddo is a nice break from everything
 
@chadfrommudvayne Mom of a 2yr old and a 3yr old. I feel like its mom or wife you can't be both all the time. We are only human... example below

My husband gave the kids breakfast at the table, turned on the tv and then told me to meet him upstairs he needed my help with something so instead of being a mom (sitting on my phone watching my kids eat a bear paw lol) we had a quicky in the bathroom (only room with locks)

Gotta find balance and good ways to start the day
 
@chadfrommudvayne It gets easier as they get older. Kids do better with a bed time ritual and so do we adults. Something soothing on the tv or music, lower lights a little self care mutually. Not a bad way to end the day. Even if it’s just a foot rub or putting on lotion.
 
@chadfrommudvayne I put it on my to do list...lol. sounds terrible. Most of the time i have a kinda back of the mind reaction of "oh yeah, this is fun, i forgot". Sometimes i lay ground rules and am pretty blunt like "I'm in the mood (aka it's risen to the top of my to do list) but I'm going to pass out in about 15 min, quicky or wait?". He picks quicky everytime. It has definitely Changed since having 3. Intimacy and sex are kinda 2 different things most of the time.
 
@chadfrommudvayne Mommies, let me introduce you to the concept of “Hospital Sex.” no prep required. It’s for medicinal purposes only, girls don’t have to shave their legs, man doesn’t have to brush his teeth. Just do it and then make sure you plan a monthly date. Even if it’s only for two hours just go out ride around and grab a burger. If you don’t take care of each other, you can’t take care of them. you must make that time a priority.
 
@chadfrommudvayne I could have written this post. I also have a 2 year old and sometimes I feel like not only am I taking a long hiatus from myself and my hobbies, but my relationship is on vacation too. It’ll come back soon I hope. There are definitely days, maybe more than most, that it feels like my husband and I are roommates. It’s getting a bit better, but you know, then we’re talking about kid number two so….

I can’t wait to have more energy to give to my relationship because I miss it, but I think we both realize it’s temporary and do our best to care for one another in little ways anytime we have a little extra to give.
 
@chadfrommudvayne 4yo and 1.5 yo here - often times we just lay down and watch a show or talk because we're so tired we dont feel like getting physical. My Husband works 3-4 days per week 7:30-8:30/9ish and what do ya know its those days that I feel it. Of course were both exhausted though. This week I decided to put on lingerie to surprise him when he got home. He was super busy (health care) and didn't get home until just after 9. I fell asleep in my lingerie, in bed so obviously were winning over here 😂 this time is just an exhausting time of life!

I've also made the soft rule with my husband that if something isn't started before 8pm, then it's probably not happening because were TIRED and kids are early risers.

One day, things won't be so exhausting.
 
@chadfrommudvayne My husband, while he is a lot of wonderful things- but a smart man he is not- but he can reasonably understand that I am at my max limit most of the time. So while yes, he is often not as high on my priority list as usual, he knows it’s temporary. And if he doesn’t like it, he’s welcome to take on more around the house so my cup isn’t perpetually empty 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
@chadfrommudvayne Does your husband also worry about whether he's being a good enough spouse? What is he doing to facilitate intimacy between the two of you? Why is this landing on your plate? Is this something you can outsource to him? I don't mean to criticize at all, but it sounds like you're exhausted and maybe even toeing the line of feeling overwhelmed. It's a perfect opportunity for him to figure out ways he can lighten your load and take responsibility for making the relationship more pleasurable for you.
 
@childs777 I appreciate the concern!! He definitely does try to help in any way he can and never says no if I ask him to do anything. This question stems from my insecurity and our lack of sexual relations because we’re both exhausted. He can’t work from home and usually ends up working long days so I only get to see him a couple hours before bed. Weekends are when we try to clean the house/get chores done so it’s hard to fit that in when you’re still tired.
 
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