@towardsthemark Was gonna comment this too. We just spend a lot of time next to each other after kids are in bed till we’re ready to get in bed too. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we chill and watch tv, sometimes the only sounds are our phones while we occasionally show the other something funny lol.
@towardsthemark Couch life!!!! We have recently spiced things up with weekly “Law and Order Thursdays” where we watch SVU & OC together LIVE (using a borrowed cable login, obvs) - there are REAL commercial breaks and no pausing, so you have to stay on your toes. Wild stuff
@chadfrommudvayne We’ve had to redefine intimacy. Our LO is down by 7:30 and I’m asleep at 9, so we just lay in bed together and watch a show and talk. We spoon sometimes and I make him tell me something nice every night before bed
@nickmanwithaplanb That sounds perfect. I think he’s also in denial because when I mention bed before 10pm he gives me the side eye lol. Redefining intimacy until our LO is more self sufficient sounds like a very reasonable adjustment!
@chadfrommudvayne By “time and energy to devote to my significant other” do you mean texting Reddit memes from opposite sides of the couch? Because that’s basically all I’m capable of after getting the small ones to bed. Sometimes we pretend we’re going to watch a show but the odds of both of us making it through a whole hour of television without passing out is exactly zero. We get the occasional date day thanks to having grandparents around but overall it just is what it is. We’re both ok with the fact that I’m kind of a shitty wife right now because everyone involved understands that it’s circumstantial and temporary. Just be kind to yourself and to each other. Parenting is hard and you’re doing your best.
@chadfrommudvayne To be honest I feel the same way I apologize to my husband all the time. I’m lucky he just laughs at me when I do. When I hear about someone who has a child under a year old say the are pregnant again I always think “how the f*** does that happened.”
@buildfaith777 I feel that!!! We literally just talked about how we don’t think we could go through pregnancy-2 year old again and that maybe we should adopt!
@chadfrommudvayne I go to bed at 8pm since you never know what will happen in the night. My girl is teething and waking up at 12/1 and is awake for 1-2 hours. If I went to bed at 10, I wouldn’t get a REM cycle in before she woke up. I feel bad I’m not connecting as much with my husband but I’m the one who wakes up with her (breastfeeding), so I don’t want to risk getting no sleep.
@randomx45 Oh goodness, I remember those days!! Sleep is something not to take for granted when you know it’ll be interrupted. I hope the teething takes a rest so you can get some rest!!
@chadfrommudvayne Thank you! My girl is 18mo so she usually STTN but the time change and now teething has thrown her off. Here’s to hoping that tonight is a new night!
@chadfrommudvayne We roll with an early "bed" time to help with that- I put LO to bed at 7:30, while hubs makes me a drink or a cup of tea and sets up the coffee pot for the next day. We watch an episode of something short while we have our drink and get ready for bed. Sometimes we just lay on each other and scroll on our phones or game, sometimes we cuddle and talk or exchange back and shoulder rubs, sometimes more . It also gives us the opportunity to actually go to bed early if we need it while still feeling connected, which is nice.
@lovebooks I mean dont get me wrong, I have a 6 month old who is miles away from sleeping through the night and am just coming out of some gnarly PPD/PPA, but me and my husband both come from dysfunctional families and agreed that one of the most important parts of how we plan to parent is demonstrating for our child what a healthy, loving and respectful relationship looks like. I also had a pretty rough delivery that ended in a c section after 62 hours of active labor, caught covid 6 weeks postpartum and struggled to breastfeed so full credit to my husband for being my best literal and emotional support so I could recover well enough to have the desire, energy and confidence to be intimate again.
. It also gives us the opportunity to actually go to bed early if we need it while still feeling connected, which is nice.