Help deciding on a preschool please

folkrox

New member
Long post warning, need to vent and organize my thoughts, all words of advice are appreciated! My daughter is 2yrs old and 2mths. I stayed PT at my job since my maternity leave and have now been offered to return back to work FT (M-F 8-5) with a raise or stay PT with a pay decrease. My deciding factor is what to do with my kid as most preschools and daycare where I live have a 1-3yr wait list, I have no family to help watch her and they want me to start FT by jan/feb. I was able to find 2 schools through my sigOs "connections" that would be able to squeeze her in in the middle of a school year but I'm having trouble choosing.

School #1: Montessori mixed age, her class would be about a dozen kids with 2 teachers. Same monthly 1k payment as school #2 but they want a couple grand deposit that you don't get back. I loved what I observed at the school how the kids set up their own place mat to help themselves to snack at anytime of the day and wash their own dishes. The kids were very disciplined in manners. The drive would be about 10-15min but the times would be 830-330 and I would have to ask friends to help me with drop off and p/u on the days her dad wouldn't be able to. I would have to donate healthy snacks for the whole school and do laundry when I can for the whole school. There is no outdoor playground, the school takes walks around the neighborhood. She has to be potty trained which she isn't, she can't start till the end of Feb and I think we have to commit to 3yrs.

School #2: Buddhist academic based preschool. Same 1k monthly payment with no deposit. Only a 5min drive from home. I would need to pack home lunch for her daily and school times would be 7-5:15, I think just dad&I should be able to handle this drop off and p/u on our own. I was not impressed when I did a school observation, nothing bad just nothing great but they do have a large cement outdoor play area, class size was about 6-8 kids with 1 teacher. She does not have to be potty trained and we can start her anytime.

As I type this out I can see how school #2 is the more logical choice but I still have that mama gut feeling that the Montessori atmosphere is a better fit for my kid. She is bright and learns fast. She knows her ABCs, can count to 20 and communicates well but she is not potty trained yet. Even though I don't feel ready to put her in school, I know she is ready and will excel. We currently are in a twice a week mommy&me class, we go to MyGym and Music Together.

Any words of advice from Montessori moms that can assure me the extra work in drop off and p/u and school volunteering is worth it for my child's early development? Or any academic based moms that can assure me she will be fine and thrive in a school I don't love based only off of 2hrs of observation but will be more convenient with my schedule? Or should I take the large pay cut and continue our schedule until she turns 3 and we start her preschool in the fall new school year?

I have been at my Admin job for 5yrs but there will be a management change soon so I'm not sure how different it will be coming back FT. I have considered a 5-10yr plan possibly climbing the ladder in this industry. My mom says she regrets going back to work and not spending more time with us when we were small, my friends say quit my job and find a job at a school so I can have the same schedule as my child grows up. This raise is significant enough to make me want to come back to work now but I would also love to have a 2nd child in the near future. Financially we have been getting by with my other half supporting us but he has other kids to pay for and we would be so much better if I went back FT.

Please let me know if there is a better sub I should submit this too. TLDR should I choose FT work with a raise and send 2yr old to Montessori or Buddhist academic based mid school year or PT work with a pay cut and wait until LO is 3 to start preschool?
 
@folkrox I want to say go with your gut, but not having a playground and a place outside for kids to run around would be a dealbreaker for me. We live in an urban area and I think I have realistic/limited expectations, but kids need to run freely and climb!
 
@folkrox Yeah 3 year commitment plus no outdoor space would be a dealbreaker for me. I’d go with school #2 while you wait for a different school that you like and hope they can start in August!
 
@folkrox That’s a hard choice. Personally I think that while there are a lot of up sides to the Montessori option, the cons mentioned are ridiculous. No outdoor play area?? Unless they regularly walk to a playground that’s just down the street and has appropriate bathroom facilities for little children, that’d be a pass. And how could they even ask parents to take home, wash and dry all the center’s laundry? Most moms can barely keep up with their own family’s laundry while working full time. How do they handle laundry if a child is sick or has an accident?
 
@folkrox Unless there was something wrong at school 2, I would go with school 2. Crazy deposit, impossible commute, nowhere to play, doing laundry for the school ?! No. Plus what if she doesn't wrap up potty training in time? Every kid is different. My now (perfectly potty trained) 5yo is whipsmart and REFUSED to potty train until 6 weeks before she turned three. It wasn't for lack of trying. She just had to be ready. She literally decided it was time and then it was a super quick process.

Another thing school 2 has going for it- you'll be able to do more of a transition period if you like. The first bit of daycare is hard. Lots of tears usually (not always!) If you're expected to be back FT in Feb and can't start her until Feb, that would be a big red flag for me. You don't want to have to rush off to grab her right away when you're just getting back.

As for whether to start now or not... you do you. If you think you'll regret losing the time with her, don't do it. I am a better mom when I work, I would go for the FT. Good luck. these decisions are never easy!
 
@folkrox I have a similar choice to make ina few years - the AMAZING preschool that my older kids went to, or the OK preschool that is 5 minutes away and has better hours.

Unless the closer preschool does something impressive in the next few years, we are going with the less convenient but amazing preschool.
 
Thank you so much for all your input! I've decided to go with school #2 in hopes that I'll grow to love it. If after the spring I don't, I might try school #1 in the fall. I'm sure by then she'll be potty trained. M-F 8-5 here I come ugh lol counting my blessings!
 
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