Hand-me-downs or new?

[jdn2604]

We have 3 girls- currently 0.5, 3.5, and 5.5. All summer babies. Our youngest is in clothes worn by both of her older sisters and two cousins (also summer gals and right between ours, currently 2.5 and 4.5). I love it. Emotionally, financially, environmentally- couldn’t be happier to see these clothes for the fifth time on our last tiny human.

But things are changing for our older girls now. 5.5 wants to pick her own clothes, which is totally reasonable- before now I thrifted and shopped sales, and now seems like a good opportunity to continue conversations about making decisions and prioritizing spending (like, we have $15 budget for shirts- do you want that one for $15, or these 3 for $5 each? Or do you want to get one of the $5 shirts, and have $10 left to add to your dress budget?). Great. Except now 3.5 wants to pick her own clothes now. She understands that she will get to wear the clothes 5.5 is picking one day, but she wants to pick new clothes to wear now, and who knows if she’ll like the clothes 5.5 is picking when she grows into them? And unfortunately she’s has seen too much of the hand-me-downs on 5.5 and her older cousin for me to pass them off as new.

I’m just curious to see how other families approach this. 3.5 will be totally fine if we decide to keep her in hand-me-downs instead of letting her pick new clothes, but it seems kind of mean. But then buying new clothes when she has so many options already seems wasteful.

So- what do you do? Hand-me-downs for all the younger kids? New clothes for all? Something in between?

 

[kokopuff]

@jdn2604 I don't know if this has happened to you yet, but it seems like even when we have plenty of hand me downs, someone hits a growth spurt and suddenly nothing fits. That is the time I treat them to something new. One year, my youngest had just received, no lie, 15 pairs of these fabulous shorts in his size. Then BAM. he grew right out of them after maybe having them 2 weeks. Wtf. I was so mad about that lol I ended up getting lucky and found a good sale and he got some brand new stuff!! But definitely not 15 pairs worth, though

 

[cristina49]

@jdn2604 We do mainly hand me downs and then buy « nice » outfits new. Some of both is perfect.

 

[oilerlover]

@jdn2604 Set it as “When you start going to school you pick your clothes”. I guess 5.5 is going to some kind of kindergarten. If the don’t go to school or are homeschooled then set it as “when you get 5 you pick your clothes”.

 

[mooks75]

@jdn2604 some new, some hand-me-downs. every kid deserves some new things, but hand-me-downs are great!

 

[jeanetteflint]

@jdn2604 Hand me downs, with some new. I think each kid deserves something just for them!

 

[mirko78]

@jdn2604 Two girls and a boy, all summer babies. We pass on hand me downs. But also grandparents are all aware of hbd me downs, so they get middle kid new clothes regularly. I try to let middle kiddo get a new outfit for (unexpected) special occasions. But largely avoid hulk purchasing for her (she has the most clothes of any of the kids). Also, she gets to veto any hand me down clothes she doesn’t personally like if she has more than one X in her wardrobe (won’t get to pick a new winter coat if she only has the one, but there were 3 fall coats and she opted out of two of the handle downs, and we supported that).

 

[izakb]

@jdn2604 New clothes when school starts.

 

[magwrites]

@jdn2604 Our younger daughter gets hand me downs from her older sister, but she gets to pick out some signature pieces to express herself.

 

[phillipofnazareth]

@jdn2604 Not sure what the answer is but keep in mind that trends change and in 5+years, it may be very obvious the clothes are hand me downs (e.g Hannah Montana). Just something to keep in mind

 

[marisasa]

@jdn2604 Another thing to consider- sometime in the not to distant future the older 2 may be wearing the same size even though they are 2 years apart. I have 3 boys in a row (5.5, 4, 2) and my older 2 wear the same size now, so hand me downs aren’t as efficient as they once were. I still consign/yard sale shop for the older boys, but I shop specifically for the styles they like and not the cheapest things. They prefer sweat pants and athletic shirts so that’s what I buy for them. As they outgrow, I save hand me downs for the youngest boy, but am totally willing to buy boy #3 different clothes in a few years if his style preferences are different than big brothers (like if he prefers jeans and polos, I will buy that for him instead). Basically, I keep the hand me down/free/cheap clothes train going until my kids are old enough to have style preferences and once they do, I work as smart as I can to get clothes for them that they prefer.

 

[smithy60]

@jdn2604 I have 7, we have a set brand new limit per year. 1 new outfit per for xmas, birthdays, and back to school; plus various special occasions not preset such as a wedding. All other clothes are from the thrift shop where everyone is given a budget and then they get to pick "new to them" clothes and hand-me-downs that I keep organized in the garage by size and age and gender. Every 6mos the clothes are gone through to keep it under control, get rid of ruined clothes, figure out who has grown out and grown into new stuff etc.

Shoes are always new. Items that end up with special significance that will not end up passed down go into their baby/growing up box that wil be given when they are grown, things they may want for their own kids.

 

[katma]

@jdn2604 We do mostly hand-me-downs but they get the occasional new clothing items because they each have different interests. We toss the stuff that is too worn or stained to pass down and replace it with new stuff as well.

 

[jakob92]

@jdn2604 I reuse from the last kid mostly. Buy only what I need to

 

[gloria_]

@jdn2604 Inbetween for us - two new outfits for each child at the start of each season (we have 4 seasons where we live) and the rest hand-me-downs, with new filling in any gaps in the inherited wardrobe.

At the start of each season we'd bring out the containers of hand-me-downs and off-season bargains I'd picked up previously, and the kids would get to try them on and give a thumbs up or thumbs down for each. Anything thumbs down that was still good, I'd just repack for the next one to try on in the future.

One key strategy for us was being always consistent with our family pledge - everyone gets everything they need, and some of what they want. When questions of fairness would pop up, I'd refer back to this because kids don't need the same things at the same time - and trying to make it "fair" by giving other kids things because one kid needs something would be the surest way to make sure we didn't have the resources to cover those kids' needs when they popped up.

So yeah, older sib may get new clothes, but younger one may end up with new shoes sooner. Older sib may get a sleepover, while younger one stays home - but then younger one may get to go to friend's bday while older has to stay home. One sib may decide to join scouts while other sib may decide to play sports.

Each one gets what they need and some of what they want - and neither of those depends on the choices of the other sibs.

 

[atheistone]

@jdn2604 Maybe have 5.5 get some sturdy basics to use as hand-me-downs, and then allow each girl to get a few fun, special pieces in their own style? Still being conscious about money and the environment but without totally limiting them

 

[uniquescreenname]

@jdn2604 Do you have it in the budget for everyone to have their own thrifted clothes? That way they can still pick out their own clothes and you won’t break the bank. I shop nearly exclusively at thrift stores and love it because I can have my own wardrobe change nearly every year for $50

 

[miamiamia]

@jdn2604 My 3 girls are all very, very different. The youngest had all new stuff when she was born because by then I had given away all her older sisters' stuff. They were 6 and 8 when she was born. My 13 year old got ALL her sister's clothes up until she was 10. She only got new stuff for holidays.

Now that they are 15, 13 and 7, I have them go through their clothes in summer and winter. Anything that has holes gets tossed or recycled. Anything that doesn't fit goes into a pile and the younger ones get to pick what they want from it. Anything left gets given away. This way, I'm only supplying half the clothes for the 13 and 7 year old as they grow/change.

My 4 year old son has all new or thrifted stuff because his brother is 15 years older.

 

[totallylovedbygod]

@jdn2604 Everyone gets a new outfit at the start of the school year, on their birthday and at Christmas. Otherwise it's all hand me downs.

 

[spruikah]

@jdn2604 For my daughter (3.5) we don’t really have to worry about too many clothes since she has 3 older cousins and I have literal boxes of clothes up to 7t for her at the moment, but we have had to buy her some outfits and I usually go to once upon a child for her or Walmart. My son (2) has had all new clothes since birth because the only other boy in the family has a 10+ year age gap so I only got a few hand me downs for him like shoes, and a couple winter jackets. I do the same for him though and shop at once upon a child and Walmart. We also have a Burlington near us and I’ve bought a couple things from there, but it can be pricey.