Grief about WTT?

[tamlamc]

@dang91 I definitely agree, this community is really powerful in feeling like a safe space for us to navigate the sometimes misunderstood feelings in waiting - as we support each other, celebrate together, and just share this sometimes lonely experience!

 

[val21]

@tamlamc Thank you for writing this. I think I've gone to a point where the prolonged grief, life-changing accident, and acquired invisible disability has left me feeling hopeless overall. I feel like a flower that's wilted way too long. Although I'm recovering much better now, I feel like I'd be a million years until I'm in a good place to have a child. Sometimes I'm not sure if sacrificing or delaying the process of being a mother so that I can meet minimum requirements to fulfill my career dream/desires/development is truly worth it. At some point, something's gotta give.

 

[tamlamc]

@val21 I’m so sorry that our stories sound so similar. It’s incredibly hard. Since writing this, I’ve come to grips with the fact that I have to give myself permission to wait, to release the should-have-beens and the would-have-beens to embrace what is: at least a few months of healing, followed by some time rediscovering my identity and living my life again, so I can have a life I’m proud to bring a child into.

 

[val21]

@tamlamc Totally. Therapy has helped me accept this hard reality. All this work to rebuild my health, sense of self, will benefit my future self overall, so I can be a wonderful mother, parent, and person.

 

[katrina2017]

@tamlamc I feel this. I need to wait for many reasons, but I have fibromyalgia and pcos. Even though I'm on medication and my weight is within a healthy limit and I do everything I can I'm not regular, the pcos doesnt seem to be controlled. I'm afraid. I'm afraid I won't be able to have a baby when I do try. I'm afraid if I wait it'll be too late.
I'm afraid if I wait too long I'll be too I'll from the fibromyalgia once the cushion of my youth is gone.

I cry myself to sleep. I feel the painful ache of longing in my chest.
My own fear and emotions welled up and ruined my day after my friends birth announcement (I did not say or do anything negative I'm actually very happy for her this is a wanted and loved baby by so many people including me. My friend had a rough pregnancy and our boss was not lenient with her and I worked a lot of over time at the nursing home we work at so she wouldn't be staffed alone. It was a very difficult time and this baby's safe arrival brings me you and relief beyond words).
But at the same time I was sad thinking about my own future.
The other day my partner of the blue told me what a good mom he thinks id make. So get me pregnant??? You can't just say that when you know I'm like this, dude.

 

[mnh84647]

@tamlamc I'm in a bit different position. I already have one and I always wanted a small age gap. My son turns 3 soon and right after birth I wanted another. But I've become a single mom just a few weeks after birth.

So I can't even try because I'm lacking a partner which is also hell. I've met someone a bit ago but we're neither official yet nor could we get into TTC so soon after even meeting. And it hurts so bad. All I want in life is another. I'm thankful I already have one but he was actually a happy accident.

Now I'm ovulating and I'm devastated. Everytime my new whatever gets a condom, my heart breaks. I wouldn't even mind just getting pregnant even with the current circumstances but I get that it's better to wait.