First pregnancy : Am I the only one that has periods of doubt and fear that I'll miss my pre-child life?

[lumpyspaceprincess]

I'm 35& could never really see myself w/ child until i met my wonderful long term boyfriend. We've been trying for 1 1/2 year and I was elated to find out I'm pregnant (I'm 9 weeks now). I've been struggling w/ every 1st tri symptom possible to get and finding myself irritated with the loss of my appetite, sleep, drive to workout, freedom. I find myself already mourning me and my boyfriends freedom and ability to do whatever, whenever. So much is going to change & i sometimes am scared and don't want to lose the carefree life we have now. At other times I'm excited for the future with a baby and can't wait to feel the baby etc. These feelings of doubt & resenting my pregnancy experience thus far give me alot of guilt & even more doubt in myself. Can anyone relate? TIA

 

[biblestudy]

@lumpyspaceprincess Millions of people can relate.

 

[lumpyspaceprincess]

@biblestudy

 

[matthew787]

@lumpyspaceprincess Yes! It's such a looming worry. Especially because my friends don't have kids. It's hard to say goodbye but I'm really excited to have a small one.

But I've also convinced myself that I'm going to be the kind of person who still does stuff and brings along my little plus one (nobody shatter my illusion )

 

[alicefive]

@lumpyspaceprincess Totally get it. I’m 36 and have wanted a baby for a few years, thinking I’d be so excited when it finally happened. Week 9 now and it has been so debilitating because of the nausea, sickness and fatigue. Not being able to do anything fun or go anywhere has left me questioning why I thought this would ever be a good idea! But hoping my feelings will change as time goes on and hopefully when the sickness eases!

 

[valera]

@alicefive I have a 7 year old
Alrwady and 9weeks right now. I feel you that this pregnancy has made me question everything. I do not feel like myself, I feel awful, moody and fat and angry and tired. Like who would ever do this. But I’m waiting for this to pass and know that I’ll have a cuddly baby here and my body back soon enough. Actually, I kind of missed being pregnant with my first after it happened. So yeah, we’ll forget.

 

[elanshines]

@valera I have an 8 year old and feel exactly the same. Already mourning it just being him and I. Wondering why I’ve chosen to bring my life into chaos

 

[valera]

@elanshines I’ve thought like that too. But she will be so excited it makes me happy

 

[ethonhauler]

@lumpyspaceprincess You will miss your pre child life at times. It’s okay to take some time to mourn that part of your life. Once your baby is here, you’ll begin to grow so much in love, that it’s hard to imagine life before them

 

[janice64]

@lumpyspaceprincess Perspective from the other side! You do miss it in some ways but my goodness it is worth it. Your kid will be such a source of joy that you never even knew existed before that it more than makes up for the loss. I just look at my son sometimes and despite terrible nights, toddler tantrums and all the anxiety he causes me I absolutely wouldn’t swap what I have now for the whole world. Still I am having the same thoughts now I am pregnant with the second - I am already mourning the dynamic we have now in our little family of 3, but somehow I know it will be the same as before - a change and an adjustment but absolutely worth it!

 

[joseph_]

@lumpyspaceprincess Hi currently feeling the same. I’m booking a flight right now, knowing I’ll likely feel so sad at the end because I’ll know it’s our “last” vacation as just us. I already feel a lot of love and excitement for my baby, but I also know how much I love our life the way it is. Very bittersweet.

 

[jaelhope]

@joseph_ My husband and I make sure to still book a trip every 2-3 years that’s just us. It’s been such a great thing for us as both parents and partners. I highly recommend it if it’s feasible for you

 

[joseph_]

@jaelhope We may, we travel a lot… but neither of us are willing to be more than a few hours drive from our kids for the first couple years. But agree, doing stuff as a couple will still be so important

 

[jaelhope]

@joseph_ We have the luxury (???) of a few weeks in summer where our oldest (10) is out of state at her dad’s place so it’s definitely easier for us. With the new little one coming I’m sure we will stick closer to home and wait a little longer.

 

[simplistik]

@lumpyspaceprincess I’m 34, and never wanted children until I met my husband. I actually considered getting my tubes tied or cauterized in my 20’s, but was dissuaded by the doctor (thank God!), and got a long term IUD instead.

I met my husband 6 years ago, and he knew he always wanted children. We had a massive, emotional discussion about it, and I told him I loved him and would reconsider children in the future.

Fast forward, and I am 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant with our first child. I just talked to a friend and my husband about how much I’ll miss our pre-child days. There are still moments where I wonder if I made the right decision, lol. Our life is simple, but happy with just the two of us and our pets.

But I don’t regret getting pregnant. I still believe that my husband will make the best father, and I’m excited to see our relationship grow in our next roles as parents.

 

[izzdan]

@lumpyspaceprincess I’m formerly child free and both me and him never wanted kids. I’m now pregnant with a baby I didn’t want at first. I cried for 2 weeks straight when I found out but the thought of terminating made me cry even more. I will miss my child free life but I’m also not too worried.

 

[agnosticchristian]

@izzdan Girl I'm in the exact same boat - cried since finding out, total accident, totally unprepared and not ready. But the thought of aborting makes me cry a lot too. Especially because I've had one when I was 18 and it was painful. I am thinking of all the things I wanted to do and all the things I didn't do cause I took free time for granted.

 

[izzdan]

@agnosticchristian Abortion is rough too. I terminated for medical reasons and I was depressed for 6 months straight. It sucks when you are young and feel like you’re missing out. I was married to 2 idiots very young and missed out a lot but didn’t at the same time. At least babies can’t take out loans in your name (yet) I’m 33 and have lived a pretty crazy life. I am more than happy to turn it down a bit for my baby. But I still plan of being my usual adventurous self. Just have to factor my little one into everything while traveling. You got this

 

[jurisdoctor]

@lumpyspaceprincess I’m battling the same thing at the moment. My fiancé got pregnant, we went on the vacation of our lives and on the 2nd day of the trip the first trimester terrible feelings started. We spent 2 weeks inside a hotel room trying to figure out what food would not make her puke.

We have only been together for a couple of months so I’m just disappointed a bit that we couldn’t enjoy our vacation that we had planned so much and knowing that it’s going to be difficult to do another one anytime soon and nevertheless alone just the 2 of us. It makes me sad.

But having a kid isn’t a relationship death sentence. It really depends on if you and your parent make time for yourselves to be alone and do the things you both love before you had kids.

I guess millions of people are going through the same thing everyday.

 

[swissmon87]

@lumpyspaceprincess I am going through this as well. We found out right before we went on our yearly vacation to the cottage and I had to spend the whole week sober… which it is what it is lol I was also planning on going on vacation for my 30th but now I’ll be huge so what’s the point. I am excited but it’s also scary to think about how life will change. Especially since it’s so early for me I feel like we can’t do any of the exciting things yet like buying baby stuff or getting the room ready. I’m hoping in a couple months my anxiety thoughts turn into more excitement and less doubts.