dudleymark45
New member
Just wanted to vent a little, my anxiety has been so high.
My son will be 3 years old in August, I’ve been feeling really just down and discouraged and tired. I saw someone posted here a while back about being a single dad and crying in the bathroom in secret and I so relate to that.
Between working all day, parenting, cooking, cleaning, I’m just exhausted.
I never wanted to be a parent or have kids, let alone a single parent. I’ve been feeling like this isn’t my life, it can’t be. Like I’m stuck in this nightmare or something and yet I absolutely love my little boy. He’s the most wonderful baby, sweet, caring, so so so smart. I just want to give him a good life. Everything I do is for him. Not even sure where I’d find the time to do something for me really.
I used to be really driven and ambitious, and I’ve always been able to work in industries I loved and was passionate about. Lately, I’ve just been working whatever job I need to provide for us, and the new industry I’ve been working in has been in constant layoffs due to the economy and technology. I got laid off at the beginning of the year and took a super unfulfilling job a month ago, I’m still applying for other work with little luck. I’m just feeling so stressed, tired, angry. Looking into taking some courses to change my qualifications, that I don’t even have time to take.
I can’t work my pre-baby career because it required a lot of travel, and long irregular shifts, weekends, and unfortunately there’s no way around it. It was my dream job. The plan I had with my ex was to be an stay at home mom, and lol I instead got stuck with being a single mom because he just never adapted to parenting. He wanted kids, I didn’t - we were business partners before we got married. Yet from the minute our son was born, he left me alone with all the parenting, checked out of the relationship completely, I basically didn’t exist and he yelled at me and said to stop guilt tripping him anytime I tried to express that I was unhappy and angry and hurt. He didn’t understand why eventually I was just angry and avoidant of talking to him. He insisted that parenting is my job, while he was busy watching YouTube videos and TikTok after work instead of spend time with us, or help out.
I feel like my soul is crushed. My dreams are crushed. Everything I worked to accomplish is lost. I’ve had good days and bad days lately but I’m just really tired, I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day while my son is at daycare being raised by strangers because I need to make money to feed us and house us.
I have 0 support, I have no family at all, not a whole lot of friends in general(the ones I do are on the other side of the country), and definitely 0 friends where I live.
This ended up longer than I planned, I’m not even sure what it is I’m looking for. I’m just sad, hurt, angry, and alone and needed to vent.
My son will be 3 years old in August, I’ve been feeling really just down and discouraged and tired. I saw someone posted here a while back about being a single dad and crying in the bathroom in secret and I so relate to that.
Between working all day, parenting, cooking, cleaning, I’m just exhausted.
I never wanted to be a parent or have kids, let alone a single parent. I’ve been feeling like this isn’t my life, it can’t be. Like I’m stuck in this nightmare or something and yet I absolutely love my little boy. He’s the most wonderful baby, sweet, caring, so so so smart. I just want to give him a good life. Everything I do is for him. Not even sure where I’d find the time to do something for me really.
I used to be really driven and ambitious, and I’ve always been able to work in industries I loved and was passionate about. Lately, I’ve just been working whatever job I need to provide for us, and the new industry I’ve been working in has been in constant layoffs due to the economy and technology. I got laid off at the beginning of the year and took a super unfulfilling job a month ago, I’m still applying for other work with little luck. I’m just feeling so stressed, tired, angry. Looking into taking some courses to change my qualifications, that I don’t even have time to take.
I can’t work my pre-baby career because it required a lot of travel, and long irregular shifts, weekends, and unfortunately there’s no way around it. It was my dream job. The plan I had with my ex was to be an stay at home mom, and lol I instead got stuck with being a single mom because he just never adapted to parenting. He wanted kids, I didn’t - we were business partners before we got married. Yet from the minute our son was born, he left me alone with all the parenting, checked out of the relationship completely, I basically didn’t exist and he yelled at me and said to stop guilt tripping him anytime I tried to express that I was unhappy and angry and hurt. He didn’t understand why eventually I was just angry and avoidant of talking to him. He insisted that parenting is my job, while he was busy watching YouTube videos and TikTok after work instead of spend time with us, or help out.
I feel like my soul is crushed. My dreams are crushed. Everything I worked to accomplish is lost. I’ve had good days and bad days lately but I’m just really tired, I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day while my son is at daycare being raised by strangers because I need to make money to feed us and house us.
I have 0 support, I have no family at all, not a whole lot of friends in general(the ones I do are on the other side of the country), and definitely 0 friends where I live.
This ended up longer than I planned, I’m not even sure what it is I’m looking for. I’m just sad, hurt, angry, and alone and needed to vent.
