Exchanges

@dod2017 School is definitely the best time to exchange.

My kid is old enough and we both live close enough to the school that he just makes his own way to either house. But in your case I wouldn't even meet for an exchange, assuming there isn't belongings that need to be collected.

On our exchanges my kid is left to school by one of us and collected by the other. We're on OK terms anyway, but that just seems like the most reasonable way to do things.

Also his suggestions for holidays are ridiculous, I think the judge will agree with you.

Again, we alternate holidays. If I get my kid for autumn break then she gets him for Spring break, if I get him for Christmas then she gets first choice for summer holidays. We alternate as best we can every year.

This year is my ex's year with my kid for Christmas, even though we alternate weeks, and Christmas falls on my week, she will get him for the whole Christmas, this year that means she gets him for her week, then at least half of my week. So I most likely won't see him Christmas eve, Christmas day, and St. Stephens day. That's just how it is, I got my shot last year, and I'll get mine next year.

Sometimes what's in the best interests of the child isn't "fair" to the parents. That's just life. We are amicable enough that we make exceptions for each other when we can, but when it comes down to it the schedule is the schedule, and if the parent who has our child doesn't want to switch for whatever reason that's the end of the discussion, but usually we can accommodate each other with our day to day dealings, major holidays tend to be fixed though.

As a parent, I prefer the above situation to haggling for hours here and there as it allows my kid to have a relaxed Christmas and spend decent quality time with whichever parent has them.

I think your ex is being unreasonable.
 
@leafbyniggle This is my point too! Of course I would PREFER to be able to see my child on the holiday as I have never spent one without her…but when I think about what is best for her, it seems obvious that the less she is shuttled around and getting to spend Xmas eve and Xmas morning at the same house and not be rushed seems to be the best option. Having to meet on Xmas eve or Xmas seems like it would just induce stress on her.

I suggested it be Xmas eve to 6PM the day after Christmas and he also said that is unreasonable for him to take that much time off of work so in a sense it’s like what gives??? When does she take priority
 
@leafbyniggle Oh no, it snd about money but rather a loyalty to his company and he doesn’t like if when they feel like they’re in a bind. He is a diesel mechanic at a garbage company. It’s also annoying because we were together when he took this job….he could have worked ANYWHERE and he still could, his line of work is in high demand
 
@dod2017 This is complicated. Do week/week and stay out of court for future modifications. Transition through school, camp, skip hand-off, no verbal, just OFW.

Be understanding if a parent needs to forgo time because of life situations, they need to forgo time. Don't try to agree to what CURRENTLY works specifically, just what will work generally, for most people. Try to make an agreement that gives you flexibility and leeway to stay out of court.
 
@leotiger1986 I’m just confused as to why you would suggest that. He doesn’t even want to take our child for a 48 hour block for Christmas or thanksgiving, let alone have her for a week at a time. Can’t force 50/50 on someone
 
@dod2017 My daughter is in daycare (the one I work in) full time, and her father picks her up and drops her off there, except on his weekends, when he picks her up from daycare on Friday and drops her off to me Sunday afternoon. We’ve never been very high conflict, but there have certainly been periods where the less interaction between us, the better. It’ll be a few years before my daughter starts kindergarten, but I imagine we’ll continue picking up and dropping off there as well. It’s just made life easier, and our daughter is always excited to see her dad at pick up, so there’s usually no awkward clinging or tears about leaving me.
 
@dod2017 My son is in preschool now and my custody works out where his dad’s time actually starts at 12pm on Thursday for his weekends and ends at 9am on the following Tuesday. So he is responsible for pick up and drop off in exchange days…this may change due to the fact he consistently drops him off late for school and cannot seem to pick him up on time either…luckily his preschool is ran out of his daycare so when preschool ends daycare starts, but his dad wouldn’t give any info to be financially responsible so I’m the one stuck paying for any over charges due to late pick ups. But…unless the center is closed or kiddo is sick the center deals with the exchange technically. Like I said it may change based off his tardiness…(and I know he is late because the center has an app that notifies me when son is signed in/out) but also because his teachers have mentioned it and that it effects how he is the days he is late to school.
 
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