Even More Unsolicited Perspective - There is Hope!

[kindnessc]

@whiteadw My only advice is that it feels like an eternity while you're in it but it's short, one day it just ends. It's baby bootcamp, they're training you to care for them. And honestly my experience was that it wasn't 100% awful, after a few weeks you realize you can feel shitty but they can't kill you, you just keep going. You build confidence from that, go one feed at a time, you come out the other side as super parents. I would do it all over again for these babies.

Basically, week 1-4, the math feels like 1+1=11. Then one day it feels like 1+1=2. Around 9 weeks for me it felt like 1+1=1.1. Now they laugh, roll around, they're real characters, it's pretty fun.

 

[lauren11]

@mndad2 I can't comment on the first three months because I'm pretty sure I blacked out for the first six months hahaha

For real. That was a rough time. But we're coming up on a year! We made it! It feels impossible but it's not. Take it one day, one minute, one second at a time. For any parent with multiples, you were made for this. Keep up the good work everyone lol

 

[krill]

@lauren11 We talk about that all the time. The entire first year is a blur but those first 6 months were like a fever dream. We just hit 3 years and it’s been getting more and more fun.

 

[ruthiedee]

@mndad2 I understand this may seem dramatic but I think I have a little bit of ptsd from those sleepless nights. We never took shifts and just got up together. We were EXHAUSTED! I was honestly so miserable the first 2.5 months! But I guess my babies felt bad and gave us a little break. They started sleeping about 4 hour stretches at 2.5 months and through the night at 3. Then the 4 month sleep regression hit and only one baby has slept through the night since then

 

[nirajrana]

@mndad2 I have 1 year olds and man…..I’m not going to lie, I think they are MUCH harder to handle now than when they were newborns. They seem very determined to spend every minute of every day TRYING to hurt themselves!!!

But that’s ok…..as you said….it’s a stage.

I don’t like this stage, that’s fine, in 3-6 months they will be in a new stage

 

[csaw]

@nirajrana I just saw a video with of a lady laying in the middle of this giant pack n play looking thing with her kids crawling all over. Holy shit if I knew that existed when my babies were that small I feel like it would have been really helpful.. just in case you’re looking for suggestions

 

[littlelisama]

@mndad2 You're on a roll and not wrong! Mine didn't smile until 6 months plus (super preemie) and basically were lumps of crying crying needy needy neediness and I loved them but definitely did not love the phase. It is completely traumatizing under the best circumstances and I had pretty bad circumstances myself at that time (not the worst but far from good). I felt like once they could interact, hold themselves up and hold down their food things improved drastically. Throw in finally sleeping through the night at about 9 mo and it almost became fun. Around walking at 14 mo for mine it became actual fun. And it's okay! I loved them every step of the way even if I didn't love every step itself. They are awesome little kids now and haven't lost any bonding experience even though I felt like I was going through the motions for the first year. It was survival mode and I've mostly blacked out those first several months.

 

[mndad2]

@littlelisama

I loved them every step of the way even if I didn't love every step itself.

So well said!

 

[emilius]

@mndad2 These ted talks are great, keep ‘em comin’!

 

[michaelphemo]

@mndad2 I'm impressed anyone can remember the first 3 months very clearly, I'm only at 7 months with my girls and it seems like absolutely ages ago! Of course, it was 2 weeks in NICU over an hour from home, then home for 2 weeks before my husband got very ill so the girls and I spent a week with my parents (only 5 minutes from home thankfully but still awful to be away from my husband), then my gall bladder acted up, had it removed week 6, had many phone calls from WIC for breastfeeding support as well as general health checkups, visit to the physical therapist for the babies and myself, lots of random doctor appointments, OH and of course post-partum anxiety. So my mental state was very delicate, and I had to take everything one moment at a time because that is what I could handle. If anyone tried to ask me on a Wednesday what my plans were on Friday I'd break down crying because the idea of thinking that far ahead was completely overwhelming, and honestly is only a little better now. Having a monthly planner has been crucial as I also have no capacity to remember anything except most of when the girls ate and whether or not they pooped.

Interestingly, I wouldn't say I hated the first few months, but it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. Neither was pregnancy. I questioned many times why people were constantly saying "make sure to enjoy this time, enjoy it while it lasts, they're only this little once" etc, when it's just seemingly never-ending anxiety.

I did (and still do) my best every day to sit with each girl for a couple minutes and try to be grateful for the gift of them and give myself and my husband kudos for showing up every day and doing the best we can.

 

[jackie789]

@mndad2 I have 6 month old twin boys. Looking back, I loved the first 3 months and they were easier I think compared to now because it was just eat, sleep, poop. Some days I hardly ever got out of bed... just cuddled all day! Now I have to work to entertain them, make them food, etc. Although being fully sleep trained and on a schedule has helped so much!

 

[mndad2]

@jackie789 Hey guys I found the crazy one!!!

 

[jackie789]

@mndad2 Rather lay in bed than to run around all day

 

[fnitei]

@mndad2 IDK where u r rn, but pls remember, ur in the heat of battle. Things will get better, they always do. Hold on, keep fighting!