Hiya .. parenting teens is hard ! .. worst part of being a parent .. I have a 26yr old who was he'll on legs .. I was on 1st name terms with the police .. she was running away and all sorts .. she did eventually change .. now is a hard working women who I'm proud of .. I couldn't go threw that again .. I have 4 daughter BTW. .. with my 16yr daughter i thought im gonna do things differently .. she danced from 9yrs .. was good enuff to represent our country .. traveled the world doing that with our full support .. she seemed to mature quicker .. the older girls from dance were her older sisters .. it was a family vibe .. she gets most of what she wants .. but always wants more .. we bought her tickets 4 wireless .. she went with her friends ..got upset that yesterday she couldnt go .. cos we only bought her a sat ticket .. she is pretty and popular. But is ribbish with money .. she refuses to help around the house unless we pay her .. and even then .. i have to double check . She does tell me everything though .. warts and all .. and i do advise her on whats right or wrong .. yesterday there was a massive row .. where she told us that we r a weird family .. not normal .. we have another daughter with austism and our youngest has anxiety. Im a stay home mum so my hands r full .. my 16yr old seems to think money grows on trees .. she had prom .. i paid 370 4 a dress .. 160 on hair .. nails .. makeup etc ... and I told her .. u need to get a job now .. she's waiting on exam results so she can go 2 college .. she lives in lala land .. thinks she's gonna date a footballer .. she's currently upstairs sleeping .. and I'm gonna talk 2 her later when she gets up .. but I don't want to row with her .. we are supportive parents. Who only want the best 4 our kids .. shes gonna find the big bad world hard .. when she gets out there .. mum and dad cant pay 4 the lifestyle she wants .. any advice ? Thanx in advance .. btw girls hard work .
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Entitled .. spoilt 16yr old
- Thread starter n0bodee
- Start date
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- Tags
- parenting teens
katrina2017
New member
@n0bodee She isn’t an adult. But she is at a transition point- as are you, Mom- this is a transition. Talk about it.
Don’t be angry with her when she falls short of taking an adults responsibility. Don’t resent that she gets to be a child.
At 16 they are dabbling… with one foot in the adult world, wanting all the benefits, and then a return to toddlerhood and even narcissism. And- that’s normal- that’s healthy. Talk about it.
Have you ever told her, straightforward “this has to be enough. This has to be good enough.”
What happens when we practice a loving “no” with one another? That is where the REAL TRUTH lies. Who are we to one another when we don’t get what we want?
Talk about this.
And finally, take care of you. Invest in yourself so that you are nourished and refreshed as a mother. Take a weekend away. Go stay with friends for a week once a year. If you get worn down— you are the heart of the family… it shows. And it’s okay to stumble.
Maybe, within the family talk about everyone’s needs. Your needs for kindness and tenderness.
The other people in the family’s needs. Balance the family’s focus.
This isn’t about guilt and obligation…
This is about relationships that are mutual
Reciprocal
And peer to peer.
Ask your children and yourself what kind of relationship they want to have with you in 10 years, in 15 years.
May I recommend a book about adult children and parent relationships? “Growing Yourself Up” by Jenny Brown.
The transition isn’t easy- and for some reason NO ONE TALKS ABOUT it.
Friend, hang in there.
Don’t be angry with her when she falls short of taking an adults responsibility. Don’t resent that she gets to be a child.
At 16 they are dabbling… with one foot in the adult world, wanting all the benefits, and then a return to toddlerhood and even narcissism. And- that’s normal- that’s healthy. Talk about it.
Have you ever told her, straightforward “this has to be enough. This has to be good enough.”
What happens when we practice a loving “no” with one another? That is where the REAL TRUTH lies. Who are we to one another when we don’t get what we want?
Talk about this.
And finally, take care of you. Invest in yourself so that you are nourished and refreshed as a mother. Take a weekend away. Go stay with friends for a week once a year. If you get worn down— you are the heart of the family… it shows. And it’s okay to stumble.
Maybe, within the family talk about everyone’s needs. Your needs for kindness and tenderness.
The other people in the family’s needs. Balance the family’s focus.
This isn’t about guilt and obligation…
This is about relationships that are mutual
Reciprocal
And peer to peer.
Ask your children and yourself what kind of relationship they want to have with you in 10 years, in 15 years.
May I recommend a book about adult children and parent relationships? “Growing Yourself Up” by Jenny Brown.
The transition isn’t easy- and for some reason NO ONE TALKS ABOUT it.
Friend, hang in there.
katrina2017
New member
@floodland Thank u I will xx