"Does she behave?"

[sullero]

This is really just a pure vent. I'm flippin' sick of ppl asking "Is she well-behaved?", "How was she at the event--did she behave?", and saying shit like "She's learning she can get what she wants if you pick her up every time she cries." and "You should do X, Y, and Z this way, or she'll learn she can take advantage of you."

...You can't ask if a baby is well-bahaved. They don't "misbehave"... they cry and fuss if they have needs that aren't being met. And babies aren't capable of manipulation--she needs to know she's safe and secure. She's 5 months ff's sake! Rant over. Thank you for "listening".

ETA: I recently found a very helpful and well-written article about the different types of parent-infant attachments you can build based on how you respond to your child's needs, and I thought some of you might find it helpful. I posted it on another thread, but the OP deleted their post shortly after putting it up.

 

[blackbutterflies]

@sullero “Actually she sprayed graffiti on the walls, had one too many Gin and tonics and started a fight with the doorman” is my go to response.

 

[alisonkoo]

@blackbutterflies My go to response is “no, he ended up stealing a car when he went out to the parking lot for a smoke. He’s a very bad baby”

 

[aybuqui]

@alisonkoo "No, he is wanted by interpol for a series of heists and he punched an old lady once!"

 

[sullero]

@blackbutterflies Heeheeee oh yeah, that's good. "She's an out-of-control delinquent!"

 

[starrz329]

@blackbutterflies Brilliant, gonna copy that one, if you don't mind!

 

[stevesgirl]

@sullero I HATE THIS QUESTION. How can a baby “misbehave”? Why should they “behave” if their needs are not met? If they’re giving us a hard time it means that they’re HAVING a hard time.

 

[sullero]

@stevesgirl Yes! Next time you're hungry and you try to order some food, see how you like it when the restaurant says "No. You're misbehaving. I only respond to people who communicate what they want with silence."

 

[psalmofmercy]

@sullero Ugh, this the worst. I genuinely don't trust anyone around my baby because everyone thinks this. I even read on my fb mom group once how a mom would "pop" her 6 month old baby for misbehaving! 6 months old. How can a 6 month old even misbehave? What drove me insane was the rally of support other moms showed her because "You can never teach 'em too young." I hate it here. No baby should minimize their needs to suit their parents.

 

[sullero]

@psalmofmercy Wtfffff that's insane!!! Poor babyyy

 

[psalmofmercy]

@sullero Yeah, my heart sunk reading it. A 6 month old baby is still so young. She (the baby) can't even comprehend why she is getting hit at this age. Not that my feelings would change if the baby was older.

 

[coreya8652]

@sullero Doesn't stop at baby stage, I also hate this at toddlers age. They aren't Machiavelli, they don't possess the necessary cognitive function to be scheming and manipulating. They're just responding in the moment to whatever is happening, whether it escalates or not is entirely down to me

 

[sullero]

@coreya8652 Good heckin' point.

 

[torunn]

@sullero "is she a good baby?"

Like no... She's the worst

 

[katrina2017]

@torunn Eurgh SO annoying!

My answer is always “she’s a baby, so she acted like a baby”

 

[babygems]

@sullero Yes!! My mom incessantly asked if my baby was "a good baby" and I didn't even know how to answer such an absurd question.

 

[oracle999]

@sullero I usually answer those types of questions with “He behaves how I expect him to behave for his age, we are good!” and when people tell me I shouldn’t nurse on demand, feed to sleep, etc etc because I am teaching him bad habits my answer is “at least it will be me dealing with the fallout and not you - haha”

 

[sullero]

@oracle999 Yes! Precisely! You do you, I do me. I'm not telling you not to f***ing sleep train!

 

[katrina2017]

@sullero "Is he a good baby?"

I don't understand the question, and I refuse to respond to it.