Do your kids like your ex's significant other? Why or why not? Are you ok with their relationship?

[tchiakovsky]

My ex has had 2 separate live in girlfriends since we divorced 6 years ago. My son hasn't had a problem with either. The first didn't have a lot to do with him but wasn't mean or anything to him. The current live in girlfriend moved in within 4 weeks of him and his ex girlfriend splitting(she had lived there for 3.5yrs) and was introduced to my son via videochat and was super confusing left me to explain everything. All that being said he likes her now because she's his size lol (he's 9) and she has been nothing but nice to him and the few times I have met her has been pleasant. They play video games the entire 2 days he's there till 2-3am (then they dont get up till 1 or 2 in the afternoon the next day leaving my son who is an early bird everyday alone to fend for himself). Becomes a problem when it throws his whole schedule off when he comes back.

 

[halterfr33]

@tchiakovsky If LO is 9, I'd teach them how to prep foods for themself. They can make a sandwich. Are they allowed to use the toaster? The microwave? They can pop something in there to warm it up. Help them figure out how to speak to the coparent to set aside foodstuffs they can access when they wake up before the rest of the family.

 

[tchiakovsky]

@halterfr33 They eat out 99% of the time so not sure what's in the house for him to make. He knows how to do basic things. It's chips, cookies, sprite and chocolate milk that he says there is to grab. Or unless his grandma shows up that's his choices

 

[leras]

@tchiakovsky If my kid is happy, so am I. Unfortunately, my kid calls me crying almost every day over something that goes on between her and dad’s fiancé. So I just can’t like her.

 

[passingthrough1]

@tchiakovsky My kids like their stepparents on both sides. If they didn’t I’d tell them outside of safety concerns they’ll just have to adjust and encourage relationship building on all ends for everyone.

My ex and his girlfriend run their house as they see fit and me and my fiancé do the same. The kids have certain preferences between the houses but don’t outright favour either environment to the other.

There are always transitions that will need to be worked out between the houses and it will never stop, it’ll just change over the years as the kids age until the kids are off living their adult lives.

 

[sabdo]

@tchiakovsky To be honest I don't care if my kids like my ex's SO or not. It is up to them. Like I told my ex. Your partner is your partner. It doesn't have anything to do with the kids lives. Please don't drag them into your life. What bother me is he keep telling them they have two moms. Made them call that person mommy.

 

[prairierose]

@tchiakovsky I've been in the same relationship since the divorce. It is LDR, but my daughter (7) really likes my fiancee and we video call all the time. My fiancee will be moving here soon and my daughter is really excited to meet her in person. My daughter lives with her mom and I get her on the weekends.

My ex has had a few SO's to my understanding, all of whom my daughter appears to have liked well enough. Most recently was a guy whom she really liked, said he was nice, fun to play with etc and was live-in for a few months. No red flags to speak of from our conversations about him. I had never met the guy. Then one weekend drama unfolds. Turns out he is a violent felon and a lot of shady shit was going down at the house, and ended with him threatening my ex's life, then running out and getting himself arrested. As far as I know, he never touched or threatened my daughter. My former FIL had picked up her and her half-brothers during the drama, and I grabbed her from his house for a few days until things calmed down, but couldn't legally keep her due to the parenting agreement (which my ex reminded me of). I did make sure my daughter was okay though and understood what was going on, as well as could be for her age.

Just goes to show you never know who your coparents bring home.

 

[cocnrete]

@tchiakovsky No I don’t. He cheated on me with her. She has two kids herself that she always pawns off to her stepparents or her husband. Yes you read that right husband. I refuse to meet her because I’m still healing and trying to move on by the betrayal of both of them. My ex literally told me he can’t afford to have the kids often but moved in his gf and her two kids. Far as I know my daughter has no relationship with her, she’s still angry with her father for moving her in. My son is non verbal so I’m not sure what he feels about her. I have no choice but to be okay with their relationship, I did talk to my daughter that she needs to be civil and nice to her as I don’t want her to be disrespectful or hateful to no one.

 

[dichromeangel]

@tchiakovsky My kids like exist SO. Am I okay with the relationship. No. She made poor choices in regards to the kids. Plus she treats them like little dolls to dress up

 

[rode65]

@tchiakovsky That would be annoying. I wouldn't appreciate the bedtime issue

 

[thoks]

@tchiakovsky I never knew if my ex was dating anyone except once when I ran into them together. It isn’t my business why he does and I don’t ask my kids what they do at their dad’s house. I never asked my kids if they liked the one I met because if they didn there was nothing I could do about it anyway

 

[downarch]

@tchiakovsky I personally don’t. She oversteps on a lot of issues and pretends she’s my daughter’s mom. Like beyond normal stepmom boundaries. He just lets her do whatever she wants and it’s extremely frustrating. They’re both a big source of my anxiety.