lizzyjeans
New member
My wife (F 34) and I (F 34) have been together for 6 years and married for the almost 2.
We recently had a baby (I gave birth) and she went back to work a few weeks ago.
I did not take maternity leave as my w2 job is from home and I wouldn't get paid for the leave.
I also own a salon which I work at 4-6 days a week that I did take 2 months off from.
For the past 6 years, my wife has probably only paid $2000 for rent, bills, etc.
I make more money so I have always covered the majority, with it now being $10K a month, but to compensate my wife would clean and cook a couple times a week.
First off, AITA for thinking if I'm paying $10K in bills that cleaning the house once a week is a fair trade off? I do empty the dishwasher and help with laundry. And I have offered to pay to have someone clean if she didn't want to.
She does make it awkward for me when people bring up cleaning and she always throws out there that i never clean and she does all the cleaning, then laughs... and I don't find it funny because people think I don't do anything but I'm not going to throw it out there that she doesn't pay any bills (including if she wants new shoes, medical bills, etc.)
Since having the baby we also agreed that she would help with the bottles and prepare his milk for the day, but she hasn't been doing that nor cleaning.
I breastfed for the first 3 months so I was the only one feeding the baby, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. When I started giving him formula, she said she would start feeding him at night but that also hasn't happened.
Here is a breakdown of her day:
Wakes up at 3am, goes to work 5 days a week from 4-10, comes home and naps for a couple hours, wakes up for dinner and to watch some tv, goes to the room at 7pm to sleep and does it again.
My day is:
Wake up at 6:30 with the baby, work at home from 9am - 1pm, go to the studio from 2 - 4/5, come home and take care of baby, eat, do night time routine with baby, put baby to bed by 8:30/9 and then work again at home from 9pm - 11pm, go to sleep around 11:30, wake up a few times from the baby and do it all over again.
I'm exhausted but I can handle it, however, I am starting to feel some type of way that my wife isn't doing more. Yes, I've talked to her and things will change for a couple days but then they are back to her normal routine.
On top of all this, we've aka I've been through so much in the past 6 years (Infidelity, manipulation - that we worked through in therapy) that I feel myself pulling back and find myself constantly thinking about leaving, then I start to get anxiety. I don't know if this relationship is worth fighting for anymore.
We recently had a baby (I gave birth) and she went back to work a few weeks ago.
I did not take maternity leave as my w2 job is from home and I wouldn't get paid for the leave.
I also own a salon which I work at 4-6 days a week that I did take 2 months off from.
For the past 6 years, my wife has probably only paid $2000 for rent, bills, etc.
I make more money so I have always covered the majority, with it now being $10K a month, but to compensate my wife would clean and cook a couple times a week.
First off, AITA for thinking if I'm paying $10K in bills that cleaning the house once a week is a fair trade off? I do empty the dishwasher and help with laundry. And I have offered to pay to have someone clean if she didn't want to.
She does make it awkward for me when people bring up cleaning and she always throws out there that i never clean and she does all the cleaning, then laughs... and I don't find it funny because people think I don't do anything but I'm not going to throw it out there that she doesn't pay any bills (including if she wants new shoes, medical bills, etc.)
Since having the baby we also agreed that she would help with the bottles and prepare his milk for the day, but she hasn't been doing that nor cleaning.
I breastfed for the first 3 months so I was the only one feeding the baby, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. When I started giving him formula, she said she would start feeding him at night but that also hasn't happened.
Here is a breakdown of her day:
Wakes up at 3am, goes to work 5 days a week from 4-10, comes home and naps for a couple hours, wakes up for dinner and to watch some tv, goes to the room at 7pm to sleep and does it again.
My day is:
Wake up at 6:30 with the baby, work at home from 9am - 1pm, go to the studio from 2 - 4/5, come home and take care of baby, eat, do night time routine with baby, put baby to bed by 8:30/9 and then work again at home from 9pm - 11pm, go to sleep around 11:30, wake up a few times from the baby and do it all over again.
I'm exhausted but I can handle it, however, I am starting to feel some type of way that my wife isn't doing more. Yes, I've talked to her and things will change for a couple days but then they are back to her normal routine.
On top of all this, we've aka I've been through so much in the past 6 years (Infidelity, manipulation - that we worked through in therapy) that I feel myself pulling back and find myself constantly thinking about leaving, then I start to get anxiety. I don't know if this relationship is worth fighting for anymore.