Cosleeping as a tool for handling sleep regression?

[passiongirl]

My baby is 4.5 months and the sleep regression is killing me. I do all night wake ups and care for him during the day while my husband is at work. We have no family around us and he only naps for 30-40 minutes so I can’t nap when he does. The sleep deprivation is almost worse than it was when he was a newborn.

We use Huckleberry sweet spots and have a consistent bedtime routine. He has slept in his crib in his room since he was 8 weeks because I couldn’t sleep near him. All those baby grunts would keep me up and it wasn’t safe anymore.

Until a few weeks ago he was sleeping 8-10 hours at night with 0-1 night feeds. He is EBF and won’t take a bottle.

Now he is up every 1.5-2 hours and it takes 1-1.5 hours to get him back to sleep, even with nursing. I am dying.

Last night he woke up at 1130 and I spent an hour rocking, feeding, singing, shushing, etc and he would not go back down so I said screw it, jammed all the blankets to the end of my bed, laid out our waterproof mat, and brought him in with me.

He slept for 7 hours with no fuss other than when he needed a boob.

I don’t know what to do with this information. I totally believe that cosleeping is safe and it’s normal for baby to want to be close to me… but I like that he sleeps in his own room. I don’t want to get into a habit of him sleeping with me that will be permanent after his brain settles down.

Is it possible just to use it as a tool for nights when I cannot stand to hear that goddamn monitor go off again? How can I keep it as a once in awhile thing when we really need it?

 

[bluefleur]

@passiongirl Not sure how helpful this is, but I put my little guy (5.5 months) into his Co-sleeper for the first half - three-quarters of the night, and then take him into my bed for the final night feed, where I side lie nurse him. Fought it at first but I was just wrecked, and it wasn’t worth it. Now he’s happier and so am I.
I’m slightly allergic to the whole bad habits narrative…it feels like yet another thing to stress new mums out about rather than relying on tools that help at the time, & that in most likelihood our LOs will grow out of.
The nurse to sleep has been the point I’ve stressed over. My LO is EBF & I was anxious that it would lead him utterly reliant on me / the boob to sleep. Consequently, I had some of my most stressful bedtimes yet trying to fight my LO’s tendency to nurse to sleep (2-3 nights of awful crying, 2 hours+ to put down resulting in a v overtired baby that woke frequently). Eventually I decided it just wasn’t worth it. And just the other night my husband successfully put him to sleep just with a bottle - something which in truth I was very anxious he wouldn’t be able to do.
All of this is a long way to say, my view is to be kind to yourself & enjoy the fact that at this moment your baby needs you closer to guide them through this moment where they’re going through some major developmental leaps. It won’t last forever - so if you’re doing it safely I say enjoy the cuddles, & more power to you.

 

[samtheman]

@passiongirl Bad habits is not really a thing in babys, they have ever changing needs. Do what you need to do now to function properly for the time you consider it necessary. When his needs change you will find a way to make it work. Sleep is the most important thing the first year, enjoy as much as you can get!

 

[mellowyellow]

@passiongirl I am going throught this too right now. My baby wakes up every 30 minutes if he is in his crib, but with cosleeping he can sleep at least 2-3 hours. Cosleeping is the only way I am surviving right now. I put my mattress on the floor so it is safer for him.

 

[aellagirl]

@passiongirl I'm going through this too. My LO was sleeping so well from month 2-3.5 and the last 6 weeks it changed from 1 waking around 4am, to 2 wakings, not we're at 3-4. I can't tell if the regression started last month or that wasn't the regression but NOW we're in it? Finally took him to bed at 4:30am and he slept until 7:15am, where he had been waking up at 6am the last few months.

Came here to research safe co-sleeping environments because it's either sleep training or co-sleeping at this point. I'm scared of both!

 

[julesgules]

@passiongirl Going through something similar now. TBH I'd keep doing it since it means everyone gets some sleep. But the constant side lying to feed has started to hurt my neck and shoulders a lot.

 

[lesernle]

@passiongirl I started cosleeping with my baby because of the 4 month regression! After a week of shifts, we couldn’t do it anymore and brought her into our large bed. Anyway, now she’s almost 11 months and sleeps in her crib 95% of the time at night, but sometimes we bring her into bed if she’s cranky from teething or not sleeping well. Cosleeping did not make her averse to her crib!

 

[passiongirl]

@lesernle When did she go back to her own bed after the regression?

 

[lesernle]

@passiongirl It was around 1 month from start of regression!

 

[jesusiswithus]

@passiongirl Are you me?! I’m awake dealing with this now with my 5mo. Just spent an hour trying to put him down, but now have him on the boob on a floor mattress.

I also worry about setting up bad habits - even though that sort of thinking doesn’t sit right with me, it’s natural they need us near. And we need sleep to function! Even if we may not sleep as well next to them.

No advice, just commiserations