For parents that cosleep, how do you go out without your little one? Our baby is 8 months old and we’ve only ever coslept for naps and longer stretches of sleep. She’ll stay sometimes if I get up at the right time but usually she’ll wake pretty soon after. We’ve never left her with anyone else for longer than 30 mins at a time, but I’d like to go on a date or do something fun together. I just don’t know how she would do, and I don’t expect them to hold her to nap. We’ve tried putting her in the crib, pack n play, bassinet, and those little travel bassinet things that you can set on the bed or couch, but she just wakes up crying. Open to any suggestions
@mjnor1 Our babysitter has always held her or laid down next to her on the floor bed, like we do. I guess it would maybe be different if we weren't paying someone, but laying down next to a baby seems like a pretty easy way to make money. Even if it was family watching her (we don't have helpful family nearby), I would ask them to do the same thing and if they weren't comfortable, would seek alternate arrangements.
@jamaix It really is. As a former nanny, I contact napped per the parents request, and it was very chill. Much preferred over the family that insisted I set their baby in the crib and let them shriek themselves to sleep. Contact napping as a nanny also informed my parenting in the best way. It taught me how normal and helpful it can be for your babies sleep.
@mjnor1 Our nanny contact naps my 4.5mo. Eventually we’ll start practicing transfers and see how it goes. He naps independently very well for me (1.5-2hrs) but that’s because I side-lay nurse him down and roll away.
@mjnor1 My sister watched my son once or twice when he was cosleeping and she had to hold him and stay put the whole time - I felt bad because she couldn’t get up to use the restroom or get water or anything. When our baby was 8 months old we decided to begin the transition to independent sleep- not only did my bf and I need to have some more romance in our life, but cosleeping was starting to actually cause all 3 of us to lose sleep. I felt like my son might actually sleep better if he was uninterrupted and in his own room. Turns out I was right! Within about a week baby got the hang of it and has slept 10-12 hours nightly ever since! And my boyfriend and I are able to go on dates again! It turned out to be the best decision for all of us.
The book Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief was what helped us through the transition! Highly recommended!
@mjnor1 Not sure if you’re thinking of an overnight but my contact napping bedsharing 8 month old sleeps great in a reclined stroller at her nanny share. Her sleep there has never been an issue and she’ll nap for 1-2 hours, but she won’t tolerate sleeping alone at home. So I think she’s adaptable and just knows what she can get at home.
@mjnor1 my mom holds my little one thru his naps. i know it's grandma and not a babysitter, but i'm sure a sitter or nanny wouldn't mind! if i didn't have my own velcro baby, and was watching someone else's, i'd probably just hold them thru their naps lol.
@mjnor1 Our 7mo has a later bedtime (roughly 3-3.5hrs after her last nap, which all depends on how the rest of the day goes lol we’re flexible no routine here). And most nights bedtime ends up being 9-930. We also co sleep and always contact nap.
But we just bring her on our dates. I know it’s not alone time, but she loves high chairs at restaurants or evening picnics and is honestly so much fun. It doesn’t look like date nights used to, but that’s life for us now and we figured better to just integrate her into our lives than wait for the right time and we go out on ‘dates’ every week. Maybe one day we’ll get out late just us two, but I’m still enjoying our date nights including baby.
@mjnor1 Our nanny does contact naps with our LO if they won’t go down in the crib sometimes. Just teach the sitter how to do it safely and make sure they won’t fall asleep while holding a napping baby. Maybe have them do a couple shifts first while home to see how it goes then try a date night.
Good luck, I hope you find a good sitter and enjoy a lovely date night
@mjnor1 I don’t have any advice for overnight, but my mom will baby wear my little one for her naps during the day. I mean it’s either that or a screaming baby. My mom is totally fine with it. Actually my sister wears her too occasionally for naps. I’m sure you can find a baby sitter who’d be willing. Night time is a bit trickier, so we only go out during the day at the moment but my girls only 2 months.
@mjnor1 Our nanny did contact naps. We had our first night away when my son was about 1 year old. He actually did fine in his own bed for the night. I think it was because he knew mom and dad were away. Our nanny has been with us since he was a newborn so really he trusts her.
@mjnor1 I went to a friend's engagement party recently, and had my sister watch my 12mo. We dropped lo off an hour before nap time and got back 30 minutes before bedtime. My sister had absolutely no problem chilling in bed, getting baby cuddles and watching tv for an hour. I made it clear my lo cosleeps and contact naps, so she could decline or ask how ( because not everyone knows cosleeping is a thing unless they've had or been around babies). I took our lo over to her place so my sister would be more comfortable ( could make someone feel uncomfortable laying in someone else's bed, ya know?) And luckily, my lo is over there weekly so it wasn't a super strange environment. If you have family or friends that wouldn't have a problem with it, you can definitely ask! Otherwise, I think you'd have to either not go out, plan around naps and be back before bedtime ( or expect lo to be awake when you get home), or at least get them in the crib for naps.
