Child not speaking second language

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watcherkohen

New member
My husband’s native language is Spanish, I am conversational but not fluent. My daughter (3yo) understands a lot of Spanish but does not speak it unless we tell her what to say (e.g., she asks for milk and we say ask her to say it in Spanish and then tell her how). I’m not sure how to increase her actual speech. We need to speak more at home. My husband and I mostly communicate in English with each other and then sporadically in Spanish with her (I’m with her all day and speak as much as I can). I’m thinking to tell him only Spanish between he and I to normalize communication back and forth between us. Any other ideas?

Also, where do people buy their Spanish language books?? Non English books are much more expensive in the US.
 
@watcherkohen Idk if this will help but try to create spaces where she can only speak in Spanish - with relatives who "only" speak spanish, with other kids, being in full immersion and being forced to think/speak in Spanish. She knows both you and husband will understand her in English so there's less motivation to say something in Spanish.

I worry about this for my baby, too! I just know english will become dominant and it's hard to motivate them to learn without the need for it!
 
@isaac1995 Yes, and I hear my husband's nieces and nephews who I know their mom spoke only spanish at home, but they sound like they are really having to force speaking. I want her to love speaking it. That's a good idea of other spaces. thank you
 
@watcherkohen Love takes time! My mom only spoke to me in her native language (Hungarian), I think many people may have interpreted it as forcing but I have no memory of that. My father gave up on teaching me/speaking to me in his native language, I assume because it was frustrating. I wish he hadn’t given up, and I absolutely love that I can speak Hungarian.

After a while, she will get used to it. Probably a pretty short while. I think if you can stick to 100% Spanish she would probably get used to it in a few weeks, she just has to think of it as the new normal. Children at that age adapt really really fast!

I know my mom has told me not to speak English at home/ with her, but I have no recollection of this at all. As far back as I can remember it was completely normal to speak to my mom in Hungarian. I know people who have were in similar situations but their parents didn’t speak to them 100% in their native language and focused more on other spaces. They do not have the same level of fluency as me, at all. Speaking a language with your parents guarantees tons of practice every single day, which is just not something you can do with other spaces.
 
@garydavid Good point. I actually tried looking about Spanish groups near us and it was discouraging. This is really helpful. I told my husband we need to do Spanish only in the house and he maintained through the evening. I know I will need to remind him each day for a while.
 
@watcherkohen Echoing other people’s suggestions that it makes a big difference to have Spanish-only environments for her. Particularly with peers around her age.

My brother was exactly like this growing up in a Mandarin-speaking household because we grew up in the US and my parents spoke English (but Mandarin at home), and it was only from studying in China in high school and college that his Mandarin improved a lot. (He understood a lot, but didn’t speak it at home, and as an adult, his Mandarin skills are still weaker than mine—I was born in Taiwan though.)

It’s one of the reasons with our daughter, we purposely made decisions to have her go to a French-immersion daycare and have Mandarin-after school programs lined up for when she’s older.
 
@fez Oh wow, yeah I’m hoping we can go visit my husbands family for months at a time where she will only speak Spanish… locally I just haven’t found much.
 
@watcherkohen You need to find more Spanish speaking environments for her. Depending on where in the US you are, that is going to be easier or harder for you.

My local library has Spanish books (a range of languages actually, and it's where I find Chinese books for my children), there are also lots of Spanish language events around hosted by the library or other organizations. If your husband has Spanish speaking family around, then try to spend time with them. Peer interactions are also important, so finding other children who speak Spanish as models and friends to interact with.
 
@lostandinsecure Thanks! Yes, I will have to look locally for peers for her. I'm not really "in" our community, so I will have to make it happen. Our library is growing their Spanish language section, but it is not one to be envied at this time.
 
@watcherkohen Is husband speaking to your child in Spanish ALL THE TIME? As in, you guys speak in English, he turns his head to your daughter and switches to Spanish?

If not, then yeah, that's where your exposure is dropping.

If you are ok to switch to ONLY Spanish at home completely, then that is the best way. Essentially, switch over to minority language at home e.g. Spanish.

Here's a few more good articles with tips:

https://chalkacademy.com/encourage-minority-language-trilingual-family/

https://chalkacademy.com/speak-minority-language-child/

https://bilingualmonkeys.com/how-many-hours-per-week-is-your-child-exposed-to-the-minority-language/
 
@aldredian Thanks for the articles. No, he speaks sporadically and we rarely speak Spanish to each other. I think you’re right, I told my husband if we want her to speak it she needs to see us talking and we need to make it Spanish at home. Thanks a lot for the help
 
@watcherkohen You're doing great. I found that it's a gradual thing, my daughter just turned 4 and has been gradually speaking more of her 2 minority languages.

Another way to increase exposure, since you are conversational, is to find some fun and engaging activities that you all speak such as when playing board games or doing art/crafts.
 
@mjmichaels Thanks! That’s encouraging. Oh good idea! I am going to definitely focus on improving my own Spanish and vocabulary, that might be a fun way, to have a special game or activity and prep vocab for myself in advance. Thanks!
 
@watcherkohen Good luck with it! How we do it is that some games are only played in a certain language. So any time my daughter gets that game out we play it using our minority languages. If other people are over they need to learn some new vocab too 😁
 
@watcherkohen Does your husband have 1:1 time with her where he only speaks Spanish? Also I get my books from the library. I have a wishlist of toddler books that I'll add to whenever I hear about a new one I want to try, and then will cross check online with my library system and put it on hold if they have copies. There's also sol book box which is a monthly subscription. I've had it in the past and really enjoyed it but then I realized about 80% of their books are actually available through my library system and I could just buy the rest if I really wanted them. All that said, I have not found Spanish language books to be any more expensive than English ones
 
@tinisha He does a little bit, we’re trying to speak Spanish between the three of us and my husband and I. Oh thanks, yeah I look at the library but I think they’re in progress of growing their collection.
 
@watcherkohen Does your kid like listening to music and singing? Our 3-year-old loves listening to songs for kids (and even songs not for kids, sometimes) and spends a good portion of her time at home singing to herself (things she's heard and songs of her own invention).

For us, this has been a great tool for both getting our daughter to produce her second language (English, in our case) and assessing her linguistic progress. She seldom likes to produce whole phrases in her minority language (just like your daughter) *EXCEPT* when she is singing; she will often just randomly break out singing things in her second language -- both songs she has heard ("No more monkeys jumping on the bed!") and things she makes up ("Every day, brush your teeth, brush your teeth..." to a melody I'd never heard before).

It doesn't have to be music; look for any activity you and/or your husband can do with her in Spanish and that she enjoys doing with you (e.g. a simple game, and everyone does it all in the minority language).
 
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