Looking for research please! My in laws are driving me up a wall. My baby is exclusively breastfed, I pump when I’m at work and nurse on demand when I’m home. When I’m at work (out of the house for 9 hours/ day) baby consumes a 4oz bottle every 2-3.5 hours and averages about 12oz total when I’m gone. My MIL is saying we need to give an 8oz bottle and feed less frequently. To me this is against every conversation I’ve ever had with my lactation consultant and the pediatrician, but my in laws are relentless. They’re very data driven people, so please help me out.
Breastmilk amount per bottle
- Thread starter imark
- Start date
@imark Since you're both pumping and nursing I think of it as one bottle replaces one breastfeeding session and I wouldn't want to mess with that timing. The CDC still recommends feeding on demand at this stage (https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/infantandtoddlernutrition/breastfeeding/how-much-and-how-often.html); a common frequency for this age I've seen is every 3-4 hours, which is in the range you are using.
These two sources indicate that total intake each day should be around 25-30 oz:
https://www2.hse.ie/babies-children/breastfeeding/expressing-pumping/how-much-breast-milk-express/
https://bfcaa.com/resources/bottle-feeding-help/
So with those two components (time and total volume), divide to get oz per feed. 8oz per feed wouldn't seem unreasonable except that it's too much if you're following your baby's natural feed schedule. That feed on demand portion is going to be the limiting factor
These two sources indicate that total intake each day should be around 25-30 oz:
https://www2.hse.ie/babies-children/breastfeeding/expressing-pumping/how-much-breast-milk-express/
https://bfcaa.com/resources/bottle-feeding-help/
So with those two components (time and total volume), divide to get oz per feed. 8oz per feed wouldn't seem unreasonable except that it's too much if you're following your baby's natural feed schedule. That feed on demand portion is going to be the limiting factor
@imark Show them research that stress for the parents is worse for children & tell them to get off your back!
https://www.forbes.com/sites/aliceg...-a-child-from-the-inside-out/?sh=1d16574f6b38
https://extension.umn.edu/stress-and-change/parental-stress
https://www.forbes.com/sites/aliceg...-a-child-from-the-inside-out/?sh=1d16574f6b38
https://extension.umn.edu/stress-and-change/parental-stress
@seditthis Best response and so true
providenciaet
New member
@imark There is a lot of research pointing to feeding on demand (responsive feeding), both by breast and bottle, being better for babies and for continuing successful breastfeeding as long as one wants. Your MIL is suggesting feeding less frequently, which would be not feeding on demand.
This is a UNICEF document (UK based) that discusses responsive bottle feeding, which also includes paced feeding (which, when done correctly, allows baby to control how much milk they want):
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...osheet-Unicef-UK-Baby-Friendly-Initiative.pdf
And this is my go-to article on responsive feeding, so good:
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...s-obsession-with-the-infant-feeding-interval/
It’s not peer reviewed research itself, but she does cite some sources.
Your MIL is also suggesting a crazy amount of milk per feeding. I can’t find any research on this specifically but in my training as a breastfeeding counsellor and every lactation consultant I’ve ever spoken to, the standard is always that most feeds are somewhere around 2-4oz - literally half of what she’s suggesting. This makes sense given that the average milk intake is 25-30oz and average feeding interval is 2-3 hours. Babies who sleep long stretches at night might have bigger feeds before and/or after sleep. But cmon, 8oz is massive.
On average daily milk intake:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36763610/
Something that’s really working against us as breastfeeding parents is that our parents and grandparents received a lot of misinformation and misguided advice about infant feeding and nutrition, and the tides have turned on that in our generation. In your MIL’s day it probably was considered good and standard advice to give larger bottles and space out feeds. Now we know better so we do better. But it does often provide for some intergenerational tension, unfortunately.
This is a UNICEF document (UK based) that discusses responsive bottle feeding, which also includes paced feeding (which, when done correctly, allows baby to control how much milk they want):
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...osheet-Unicef-UK-Baby-Friendly-Initiative.pdf
And this is my go-to article on responsive feeding, so good:
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfrien...s-obsession-with-the-infant-feeding-interval/
It’s not peer reviewed research itself, but she does cite some sources.
Your MIL is also suggesting a crazy amount of milk per feeding. I can’t find any research on this specifically but in my training as a breastfeeding counsellor and every lactation consultant I’ve ever spoken to, the standard is always that most feeds are somewhere around 2-4oz - literally half of what she’s suggesting. This makes sense given that the average milk intake is 25-30oz and average feeding interval is 2-3 hours. Babies who sleep long stretches at night might have bigger feeds before and/or after sleep. But cmon, 8oz is massive.
On average daily milk intake:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36763610/
Something that’s really working against us as breastfeeding parents is that our parents and grandparents received a lot of misinformation and misguided advice about infant feeding and nutrition, and the tides have turned on that in our generation. In your MIL’s day it probably was considered good and standard advice to give larger bottles and space out feeds. Now we know better so we do better. But it does often provide for some intergenerational tension, unfortunately.
@providenciaet Great links thank you so so much! We’ve tried explaining feeding on demand/ responsive feeding but obviously that hasn’t worked out in our favor. I will absolutely use these links the next time the convo inevitably comes up. My sister in law (her daughter, who is childless) fed our baby 8oz one time a few months back (she absolutely misread cues and didnt follow directions to paced bottle feeding) and my little one was SO uncomfortable and cried and cried for so long so I figured everyone would’ve backed off after that… but alas here we are again.
@imark This might be hard, but I know people like this, and trying to argue with them on their level is just going to give them the impression that this is their business at all, which it’s not. Can you just tell them that you’re going to feed your baby the way you think is best, and that while you appreciate that they mean well, it’s not up to them?
sherryanne
New member
@hurrix Agreed, this is absolutely none of their business. They are disrespecting you and knowingly pushing you to go against your pediatrician’s advice. Are you leaving your baby alone with your in laws? Can you trust that they will follow your instructions or are they going to try to force feed him 8oz at a time? My twins often take 4oz of breastmilk but afterwards they are so milk drunk that idea of them being given 8oz makes me want to cry. They would be so uncomfortable!
I personally think that this is reason enough to take away their feeding privileges, but if you rely on them for childcare, you need to set clear and strict boundaries, and your partner needs to support you in that.
I personally think that this is reason enough to take away their feeding privileges, but if you rely on them for childcare, you need to set clear and strict boundaries, and your partner needs to support you in that.
@sherryanne He was given 8oz one time and I lost my mind, was definitely gaslight about the situation. They are very difficult people to have discussions with, they wholeheartedly believe they are right. Hence why I’m here. They help with childcare 1-2x/week, not alone with baby as my husband WFH. We are in the process of touring daycares for a variety of reasons, top 3 reason for me is because I can’t deal with them and the constant unnecessary power struggles and needing to prove my theories behind parenting.
sherryanne
New member
@imark This is just weird and controlling on your MIL part, and I encourage you to tell her it’s none of her business and you will not be seeking further feedback on your son’s nutritional needs.
Like there’s no magical rule that he needs to eat x at y time. If he’s happy, satisfied, and gaining weight it doesn’t matter how many ounces he eats in one sitting. Literally who cares this is a bizarre hill for your MIL to die on. The only reason to try to feed more at once is because it might get you more overnight sleep but from a nutrition stand point there’s no special reason baby needs to eat more in one sitting vs less more frequently
Like there’s no magical rule that he needs to eat x at y time. If he’s happy, satisfied, and gaining weight it doesn’t matter how many ounces he eats in one sitting. Literally who cares this is a bizarre hill for your MIL to die on. The only reason to try to feed more at once is because it might get you more overnight sleep but from a nutrition stand point there’s no special reason baby needs to eat more in one sitting vs less more frequently
@providenciaet Those sources have made me feel so much better about how I, FTM, have been feeding my almost 4 week old. I was starting to doubt myself since my go-to soothing method is the breast. At the same time, I was feeling like my supply is low since sometimes she'll show hunger cues shortly after feeding and I rarely feel "full" during the day. They even hit on my fear that I havent been "refilling" fast enough, even after a longer interval. So thank you so much for sharing, I feel tremendously better after reading those!
@bronwynm Keep it up! My baby was cluster feeding soooo much at that point. Breastfeeding is hard at times but I’ve found it to be so rewarding. I’ve taken a very feed on demand / responsive approach and continue to use breastfeeding to soothe my baby. Breastfeeding is about so much more than providing nourishment, you are their comfort and safe place.
divineluuse
New member
@divineluuse Thank you!!
nursingninja
New member
@imark So I have this in mls not oz because I’m Australia. This is the advice of my paediatrician and midwives and supported by government resources (http://conditions.health.qld.gov.au/HealthCondition/condition/8/31/325/infant-formula-feeding#:~:text=This%20is%20a%20general%20guide,of%20body%20weight%20each%20day.) but a baby should have 150ml/kg at minimum and 180ml/kg at maximum daily up to 6 months. So if your baby is 4.8kg as mine is you would do 150x4.8 and then divide by how many feeds you give per day to get the minimum quota and 180x4.8 divided by the amount of feeds.