basic weaning questions (x-post x-post)

[evietheturtle]

I posted this in an infertility moms sub and in mommit, but I haven't gotten much traction. I HAVE gotten a couple of responses of women who also have the same questions, so maybe you all can help.

As HC approaches the 1-year mark, my thoughts start to turn towards weaning. My goal has always been one year, and while I know there's all sorts of arguments in favor of extending that time, it's not my plan. I'm 36, going to be 37 in July. HC was conceived through IVF because I have a busted tube, so trying for a sibling is a little bit more involved for me than for the more "natural" approaches. I'd like to try for one more child with the frozen embryos we have. As I get older, I just don't feel like we have the time for extending BFing.

From what I've read, I need to be dry for 3 months before I can even THINK about starting the process of a FET (frozen embryo transfer- requires all sorts of hormone treatments to make conditions right). I'm not looking to start weaning before the magical one year mark, and I'm not planning to cut the boy off too harshly. He's eating solids like a champ and definitely has cut down on his daily milk intake. He still nurses to sleep (but goes to sleep relatively easily with dad- it's definitely a mom-demand) and often nurses once overnight.

So what guidelines/resources have you all found for weaning? I feel like there's SO MUCH information out there for every aspect of childcare, but almost anything I've seen about weaning seems mostly judgmental about not extending BFing is you're physically able and that's not helpful to me.

I'd like to take a gentle approach, and I have a good stash (i think well over 500 oz) of milk that I've been particularly preserving for the weaning time- i.e. wean him off boob first, then off milk as we go through the stash. I'm just not sure how to go about doing it. He's in daycare and bottles most of the day, but nurses more on the weekend.

Do I start just refusing to boob him, and nurse only for bedtime and the middle of the night? How long should I figure for the transition? and how does getting him completely off BM go? do I start mixing cow's milk in with the BM and slowly adjusting him over? this is all what sounds like makes sense to me, but I don't know if it's legit. I just want to be prepared to do things right when the time comes.

 

[katrina2017]

@evietheturtle There are several ways to wean, and it'll all depends upon that particular mother and baby's personalities and needs. I've not weaned personally, so this is all based on things I've read, not experience!

Some do better going cold turkey. Just pick a day, and start refusing. Start drying up your milk (cabbage leaves in bra work for some) and don't look back. Find other ways to be close. Continue cuddling and find new things to do together instead when he wants to nurse. After awhile (could be days or weeks, friends on the child), he'll get used to the new routine and forget about it.

Gentler approaches tend to take longer from what I understand. "Don't offer, don't refuse" works well for a lot of women, but at a year of age I'd imagine he'll still be asking quite often. You could try partly weaning so that he's, for example, only allowed to nurse upon waking and going to sleep at night. Then phase those sessions out over a few weeks.

 

[evietheturtle]

@katrina2017 thanks for this- he's rarely an "asker" except at bedtime- i suspect because at daycare he gets bottles, so I imagine the night weaning will be trickier. I suppose the fortunate thing is that he's not boob-focused, he's food focused. Of course, we need to bottle wean first, so that may throw everything for a loop....