3yr old child won’t stop touching mother’s breasts?

[engageministries]

child (3M) stopped breastfeeding from mom (24f) a couple months after his baby brother (5mo,M) was born. Boy gropes the mom, touches/pinches nipples, finds excuses just to touch. Getting to the point where it’s seems obsessive and the child/mom need to even sleep separately? Mom has expressed to me that she doesn’t know what to do anymore and is concerned that maybe he has been touched possibly by another family member? He has groped his aunt (7,F) as well. She’s considering therapy for the child, but I wanted to see if anyone else has input for her first. Thanks.

 

[berksguy610]

@engageministries Sounds more like mom might need therapy.

 

[engageministries]

@berksguy610 I’m not sure. She’s in therapy already. I spend a lot of time with them and I can kinda see her concerns. I’ll bring it up with her though. Thanks

 

[kiwilittle]

@engageministries Edit: they did this to their mom. I just read the part about the cousin. It might be curiosity but teach him we keep our hands to ourselves.

I mean…I grew up in the islands where women breastfeed on the bus and openly at hospitals. It’s only recently they start using a sheet to cover their breast and child’s head because of western influence on disapproving public breastfeeding.
I remember kids would do this, little boys or girls. There wasn’t anything weird about it when they were young because everyone knew they did it for comfort. Mom is god and the source of comfort. The breast is their dining table and where they can be in their mom’s arms and feel all the love from them. They outgrew that as they were weaned and mom would sasa or just move their hand away in the beginning of weaning.
I’d talk to him and just gently teach him to not do that and we keep our hands to ourselves unless you want a hug or cuddle from mom and dad and sibling.
He probably sees mom breastfeeding his brother and sees brother getting comfort and time with mom he was pushed out early from that.
Just teach him.

 

[engageministries]

@kiwilittle Thank you. I will show this comment to his mama. maybe it will help her.

 

[unworthy82]

@engageministries Not abnormal, even if annoying! My almost three year old is still fascinated even tho he hasn’t nursed since he was a year old. I don’t let him touch me unnecessarily though he tries but I have a mole on my shoulder that is his replacement object and for now he’s free to touch that. But really, I think the first thing to remember is that kids this little bring absolutely no baggage or untoward associations to the boobies until an adult gives it to them, so if all he knows is food and comfort from them, of course he wants them back! Wouldn’t you?! Especially if he’s having troubles in life about anything like long hours at daycare or upset about XYZ, or in the middle of transitions. Maybe since he’s three just focus on teaching respect about touching any body part that belongs to others, just generally. Like I don’t let my little put his hands on my face near my eyes. I let him see my face, so curiosity is satisfied, and maybe one exploratory touch session, but after that, no I do not want fingers waving in front of my face constantly and say so. Same with breasts. Mom can simply say, yes, these are moms breasts and we don’t touch right now (or whatever), then redirect. I do think the more attention you give this issue the bigger it will become. Remove hands, tell we don’t touch, move on. No emotion. No excitement. No anger. Redirect. Otherwise you could create negative reinforcement of a behavior, which is also giving attention. Maybe if comfort is still needed have mom get a sensory necklace and when kiddo tries to touch mom redirect to the object, or a bear, or even a hug or kiss on the cheek or whatever. Also, maybe get the kiddo some toys that teach about emotions like a puppet set, as the earlier kiddo has language for his feelings, and learns to read the cues of others, the easier it should go. Good luck!