2 year old and 6 month old I’m getting really discouraged - vent

[jlovespb]

I’m a sahm, I am very overwhelmed. My neck feels tight just from me being tense like everyday. I need a root canal but can’t afford it so I’m constantly in pain. My bills are overdue because husband and I are trying to get caught up from spending too much last month. I’m in a constant loop of nursing baby, chasing my toddler around, feeding my toddler, cooking, cleaning, forcing them to take a nap. On top of that I look and feel a mess. I’m highly irritable. I can’t take breaks because I’m always needed. Im always tired because I nurse every night and my sleep is disturbed.

My husband works all day everyday so his idea is I take care of the kids while he works and provides. I had a serious conversation with him the other day telling him that I feel like a single married mom and he was so offended that he told me to get a job. I’m just crying for help I’m not saying I don’t love my husband and kids. Something needs to change I have to get out of this rut.

 

[mmc1190]

@jlovespb It’s so so hard at that age. Mine are 16 months apart (4&5 now!). It feels like every 6 months or so things get easier.

I think the thing that helped me at those ages were 1.) acceptance. Kids are going to cry while I take a 10 mins shower or spend 10 mins cleaning up. If they are in a safe place that’s fine.

2.) walks. I’d usually spend the mornings ( in good weather) going for a walk and listening to music or an audio book. I’d pack drinks and snacks. I’d go to the playground and let the 2 year old run around.

3.) baby wear. That way I could chase the 2 year old.

My older one kinda quit napping at 1.5/2 years old. The little one would only nap on me. No shame in some tv time. Sometimes my 2 year old would only take a nap if he fell asleep watching a little cartoon and then I would rock the baby. I’d get all set up so I could relax at this point

 

[jlovespb]

@mmc1190 Yes it’s really challenging I feel like bursting at times. I’m going to commit to walking each morning just to start my day out of the house

 

[mmc1190]

@jlovespb I know that exploding feeling well.

Really it does get so much better incredibly quickly even though it feels like forever at time.

Before you know it you’ll be doing something and think “woah this isn’t hard anymore!”

Don’t feel like you have to walk every morning. Some mornings it just as beneficial to take it easy… just give yourself grace. “All will be well”

 

[jlovespb]

@mmc1190 Thank you so much it’s nice to hear this from someone who understands. I say my 2 year old in front of the tv in her high chair and just took a quick shower while the baby took a cat nap. The shower made me a bit level headed sometimes I just need to get the smallest things in order to feel sane again.

 

[mmc1190]

@jlovespb Make it a priority to shower! It’s really okay for them to cry for 10 mins,

I just remembered I use to put the 2 year old in the high chair and set up a tablet so I could have him FaceTime relatives to entertain him while I did household tasks.

Take care, it does get easier

 

[brucepjr]

@jlovespb You tell him there are 168 hours in a week. You’re currently working 160 of them. How many does he work? Is that at all fair?

 

[martalookingforanswers]

@brucepjr Exactly. I remember telling my husband, imagine if we lived in your office at the warehouse and while we lived there you couldn't ever clock out. We were fine at the time, but explaining the feeling of the never-ending workload can be difficult to convey because the walls are closing in on you.

 

[jlovespb]

@martalookingforanswers Yes

 

[jlovespb]

@brucepjr That’s a good perspective.

 

[abomb]

@jlovespb Dental hygienist here (and SAHM) this is not the best dental advice but if you truly can’t afford a root canal, you can have the tooth pulled. It costs like $2-300 vs in the thousands. Long term it’s much better to have your tooth but you also don’t want to be in pain for the foreseeable future.

 

[jlovespb]

@abomb I’m going to try to keep my tooth I’ll give myself another month to come up with the funds

 

[abomb]

@jlovespb Ok good!! I hope your tooth makes it!

 

[kody]

@jlovespb You may be able to access discounted care. My old job had a dental van that would come out once a month and provide care. You did have to make an appointment usually but some of the care was free and procedures were at a big discount. Ask around!

 

[jlovespb]

@kody I’ll look into this! I have insurance but even with insurance it’s like $900

 

[davidnando2]

@abomb Are there any dental colleges around? I’ve had a implant done for a reduced rate going this route.

 

[jlovespb]

@davidnando2 I’ll look into this!

 

[kaitylin]

@jlovespb I’ve been in a similar situation. The pack n play is your friend. I used to put a video on and sneak away to poop or cook or just chill for a min. They cry sometimes but they will survive.

 

[jlovespb]

@kaitylin Yes I need to learn to sneak away because I’m with them 24/7 because the 6month old co sleeps with me so I feel like I can never find relief unless I’m asleep.

 

[dimas]

@jlovespb Even then you don’t get relief!! OMG i already feel like I’m drowning with two who don’t cosleep.