10m baby can't sleep without being rocked

[forwardslider]

My baby always needs for the overnight sleep to be rocked in someone's arms. Sometimes it works to bounce on the yoga balls, sometimes she wants to be walked around. For the day naps she falls asleep while cosleeping fairly easy (sometimes she needs to be held in my arms but without rocking or something similar).

Putting her to sleep is a nightmare. She takes forever to fall asleep. I've tried earlier/later bedtimes hour and doesn't work. She's every energetic and needs extra soothing.

I'm having a fight with my husband over this. He thinks that we should have sleep trained and never "invited" her in our bed. And now she's too needy because we spoiled her and there is no turning back. As a context she started to need to be close to us in order to sleep ever since her 2 months shots. She also rejected any other position for breastfeeding other than side lying, so it was easier on me to have her near. I think that her neediness is something that she was born with or maybe it's related to her colicky first weeks (she also has a mild form of CMPA, we are currently on step 4/6 of the dairy ladder). But I'm wondering if my husband is right about spoiling her and cosleeping. He thinks that she will never be able to sleep in her own bed.

Is there any hope of her falling asleep easier at night?
Is there any hope of her transitioning to her own bed/crib at this age?

I don't really want to CIO, I know that there are some lighter sleep training techniques, but all the sleeping groups are against cosleeping and they are very closed minded (e.g: you have a sock in the crib, the 10m baby can choke on it) and can't get any useful info.

 

[sparagmos]

@forwardslider Hey, first of all you did nothing wrong and by no means have you spoiled your child. Of course she loves being close to you and the boob. That's obviously familiar and soothing to her. Also we all do what works, sometimes there's not so much choice

We stopped co-sleeping around 5
months, because I stopped breastfeeding and my daughter was moving too much, so I was always alert and couldn't really sleep well. She's also 10 months old now and it takes ages to put her to bed in the evenings. The world is just way to interesting at this point.

There is always a way to change the baby's sleeping habits, but it always a process. I'd just try to start the night in the crib and then bring her to bed when if she's really rejecting going back to sleep. That kinda worked for us. At some point she was ok to sleep the whole night in the crib.

Unfortunately the annoying part is that you have to get up for night feeds (if you're still doing that - we unfortunately are ). I just set her crib up next to my side of the bed. That way she's still close to me and I just need to sit up in my bed.

 

[katesmith2342]

@forwardslider Your baby is perfectly normal.
Our baby had to be rocked for about 10 months, but I practiced nursing him to sleep as well as it was easier. I would nurse while bouncing,/rocking and gradually slow down. He is now 13 months and if he has alot of pent up energy I'll just make gentle movements while he nurses lying down. As in I'll hold my arm on his tush and just very gently rock his body a bit and he calms down quicker.
However most nights he'll settle down without it!

Dad had to rock for a month or so when he started putting him to bed, but now bubs will just lay down next to him! (We're on a floorbed).

All that to say that so much has happened in 3 months for us when it comes to how much support he needs to fall asleep. We always respond, and thinks seem to happen on their own but in babys time.

Also remember teeth can make sleep rough!

Sounds like you're doing great.

 

[alexsonofedward]

@forwardslider Co sleeping is the best thing for your baby in my opinion. She is your baby, it is completely normal for her to want to be around you for comfort. All mammals (including humans up until very recently) sleep close to their young. It strengthens your bond with one another and also makes your baby feel very secure and loved. As for the sleep problems, I strongly recommend getting a rocking chair so you can at least rock her to sleep more comfortably. Babies go through phases and I’m sure your daughter will start to get more comfortable feeding in other positions, it just takes time. I also recommend seeing a lactation specialist if that is a viable option for you, as they can give you techniques on how to implement other positions whilst feeding in bed.

 

[hbwink]

@forwardslider Our toddler is 26 months and still needs to be soothed. It’s hard. Remember you baby is just doing what she’s wired to do, find safety and comfort. No such thing as spoiling a baby. I would have your partner do some reading on modern research around baby brain development. Hang in there!

 

[forwardslider]

@hbwink My husband is very... Stubborn. Though it's not quite the right word. English is not our native language. He knows it very well, he needs it in our job, but refuses to read anything that is not in our native language. So there is a limited amount of good information. We bought the what to expect series which is translated and where sleep training is encouraged. He read one f*** book and now knows everything that is to know about the baby's first year. He thinks that sleep training is the modern approach. And he is also a cheapskate and won't accept a sleep consultant which might teach us something else than Ferber/Cio. He is the one that isn't paying attention to wake windows but wants the baby to sleep independently in her crib. This is just a rant. Sorry

 

[satanworshiper666]

@forwardslider Sleep training is a scam. And so are those courses
You just need to be loving and accept your babies needs

 

[hbwink]

@forwardslider Gosh, it’s so hard especially when your sleep deprived. I’m so sorry. I always use the example of what other animal on earth would leave the infant alone and walk away while it’s crying and asking for help? It’s a bizarre concept right? It’s basically survival for mothers to hold and be near their infants. Tell him it’s biology!

 

[satanworshiper666]

@forwardslider You can't spoil a baby, they don't have the ability to reason or manipulate and so on. They have needs including comfort and closeness fo caregiver which is literally normal at that age, babies who have been "trained" have been basically trained to just not call for you or not need you, which breaks trust in your bond.
My baby is only 6 months but we don't cosleep but also he resists the crib so much despite always trying, so we hold him all night basically. I heard this happened to someone for 14 months too but it naturally fixed itself,

If u plan on your baby not sleeping beside you and it's not working then probably expect to be holding them for long...because either way if ur not gonna "train" they will express their need.

Also the cry it out method is mentally traumatic for a baby, you woudlnt leave an adult u care for sit and cry by themselves so why would u do that to a child

In my opinion the only decent sleep trialing is pick up put down method, but again I think it doesn't always work or work unless your baby is ready

Do u have a calmer routine before bed?

 

[forwardslider]

@satanworshiper666 I tried to read her stories, but she just wants to rip the pages or walk around. Bathing just energises her now. She kind of fights everything that is supposed to calm her.

 

[satanworshiper666]

@forwardslider Maybe it's a sleep regression i saw at 10 months there could be one too?