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@yoshs i’ll have to try this suggestion! make it a “real” vacation but invite the ILs. when we have visited my FIL, we’ve stayed at their house in NYC but in the burbs.. so weve just milled abt their house. boring and also kind of weird for me bc FIL remarried and has high-school aged kids (my...

@might i just signed us up to have 2 meals delivered next week and i am SO EXCITED

@fejesusor i think this will be my mantra when it does feel like work and i’m wishing i didn’t have to do it or i had a hand and start hating my husband for not being that hand.. that maybe in this moment it sucks but it will be over so soon and i will miss it. :’)

@victoriablackwell ooh your trips w family seem nice! i’d love a cruise to alaska even if it meant having to hang out w my ILs

@fejesusor totally hear what you’re saying! and sometimes it is fun and fulfilling.. but sometimes it’s hard like if LO is being fussy/going thru some stuff, waking in the night and not settling easily.. it’s tough to have to manage that alone. i say that out loud knowing rationally that that’s...

@stephendoxey love this suggestion! making solo parent care.. less solo. :) will do this next time he has weekend call.. thankfully only one weekend a month now.

my husb is a resident and gets 3 1-week vacations per year. this past year, after the birth of our son (now 9 mo) we spent these vacations as follows: (1) visiting (& staying w) his parents in NYC (2) split bw visiting his grandma in SF and my parents in LA (3) visiting his grandpa in phoenix...

@phytoscience1 we will likely get an au pair when we have the space! my husbands dad and stepmom are both surgeons and they had au pairs when their kids were younger (they’re teenagers now).

@limeleaf i know this is going to be totally dependent on your home and your own tolerance for mess, but out of curiosity - how often do you have the housekeeper come? we do biweekly now (started abt 6 months into residency), but now w the baby and his being mobile/on the floor a lot i was...

@reebern i know the whole situation is temporary — LO will get older/slightly easier and there’s 1.5 more years of residency.. but i know the anger/resentment is hurting our (still kind of new-ish) marriage :( my sister is in big law so im familiar! what did you do to manage your (crazy)...

@ligerheart25 yes! some saturdays i do woodworking for a few hours while husband stays home and watches LO. i do feel a bit “filled” after that but.. something abt it feels unbalanced still. like yes maybe our personal time hours are roughly fair/equal but for him, my personal time means him...

@kimosabe2019 how did you find your nanny/mothers helper?? i’m kinda thinking to put up signs in the neighborhood or something haha

@kimosabe2019 omg there is a subreddit for everybody!!!! thank you for the rec, this one is great! someone in a similar position as me had a “mothers helper” a few days a week in the evenings. we live near a major academic center for his residency, so i’m thinking that there are prob a ton of...

Relevant background info: I work full time as a consultant, which is flexible but also demanding. My husband is a resident in a surgical specialty. I work ~9 hours a day (8:30a to 5p, then light work in the evenings after LO is down), and my husband works ~12 hours a day (6a to 6p). We have a...