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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @shanelanford Standing with you in solidarity. It’s not a lot of fun to be left holding the reigns.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @kylein Thanks. I appreciate your input. Similar story for sure. He was in a very toxic residency program as well.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @alittlebirdee Thanks. Really appreciate these comments from people that also have ADHD. You are describing him to a tee and it really helps me understand better. I will look into some ADHD coaching.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @mimicap46 Thanks, it’s a good thought. He is medicated, and I think he believes the medicine fixed his problems, but we may need to reevaluate how much the ADHD is actually steering this ship.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @keatongtsteven IF he goes back to residency, he’s not naive. He would pick something that he had a shot of getting into (like family med). And yes, he’d be looking for something with better work life balance. What’s crazy is my husband is like the smartest person I know. He is also incredibly...
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @gillbean He would have to go through the match again. And in our state, you have to complete 2 years of residency to get your medical license. Maybe non clinical work is his path forward.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @katrina2017 Our kids are in preschool. Husband or I takes them in the morning at 9:30 and we have someone who picks them up in the afternoon (2:30) and watches them at our house until 6 pm. This summer we had someone 8:30 - 5:30 at our house.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @sisulumi56 Thank you for this. Seriously.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @andreaibaya Thank you. I will look into both.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @andreaibaya My salary paid for med school and then some. He’s good a managing our money, so we are debt free. He’s very medicated for his ADHD. I genuinely don’t know, but the mental health concern others have picked up on has to be the biggest thing causing the paralysis.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @mimicap46 It’s a fair concern, for sure. I don’t think he’d let me parent him like that anyway. He has a lot of pride. After reading through all of the helpful suggestions, I think my plan right now is to compile a list of resources for him (therapists specializing in ADHD, job/career coaches...
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @sunnie101 I was afraid of this answer (the project managing part) but I think you’re right. I really appreciate you breaking it down like this. Your second 2 paragraphs are my thoughts exactly.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @deacondrew Thank you. I really appreciate this insight.
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @selimahope Internal medicine. He SOAPed. He wanted anesthesia and his school had a less than 50% match rate that year (COVID). He went to a decent school - typically they have like over 90% match success for that specialty. He was one of the unlucky ones. We tried the “we’ll go anywhere to make...
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    @bearingfruitfortis I think he is desperate to get back to work (or so he claims), but doesn’t know how or does not want to do the (very hard) work it will take to get back. He wants to get back into a residency and continue his medical training. He has his MD. He just doesn’t know how without...
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    Sometimes I feel like I am just bankrolling my husband’s identity crisis

    Venting more than anything. My husband and I have been married 6 years, and had 3 kids in 18 months (because twins…) It hasn’t been easy. Our marriage has basically been a rollercoaster of blessings (kids) and disappointments (everything else). I’m an attorney. We got married right after I...
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