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@tchiakovsky If LO is 9, I'd teach them how to prep foods for themself. They can make a sandwich. Are they allowed to use the toaster? The microwave? They can pop something in there to warm it up. Help them figure out how to speak to the coparent to set aside foodstuffs they can access when they...

@slvceli This sounds like an r/legaladvice matter at this point

@happyheretic Oh duh! Lol, my bad.

@mattyice117 It sounds like you know where you stand then 👍

@mattyice117 Change is hard and not having a whole lot of control is harder 🤷🏾‍♀️ Yes it would be nice for mom to discuss first. Assuming she had, what would your position have been? If you'd prefer schedule changes to go through mom then you can share that with him and advise mom of same.

@happyheretic 7m and 9m, or years? I'd go hard on teaching the kids about safety, and how to communicate not wanting to participate in an activity when they feel unsafe. If there's more roofwork to be done you could offer to provide the safety equipment for the kids, or to keep the kids during...

@sedonarose I'm an introvert, and emotion regulation is still a huge challenge for me due to my childhood trauma. I'm a way better parent as a coparent with down time alone.

@lycealon We do 50/50 and have drastically differences bedtimes. 1-2hrs before bedtime is no electronics and minimal light. Bed time is 7:30pm so we're in bed by 7pm. It still takes LO a long time to fall asleep but I just keep trodding along anyways. On days when it's already 9pm and they're...

@samiammk I'd use that opportunity to find out more about why they aren't touching the lunch. Like do we need to change up the options, are they just not that hungry so I should be putting less energy into packing lunches, do we need to have them take more responsibility for packing their...

@yosoy You're choosing to do a whole lot of unnecessary emotional work around this request, and it's making you feel poorly, and it doesn't have to be this way. I get a request. I decide if I can facilitate. I share my response. Dad says okay. I keep it pushing. Otherwise, Dad protests. I...

@saveoursoul The first quote suggests that you do indeed "just put up with it" That isn't surprising because you clearly haven't figured out what your boundaries are. Are you okay with it? In this case, you'd need to set boundaries with your partner, inclusive of reducing the information...

@saveoursoul They feel that way because you're not stepping up and setting appropriate boundaries. Bringing them into the conversation with your coparent is also another example of the poor boundaries. You're an autonomous adult capable of making/communicating decisions without the need to...

@themrsbeth Is there some formal agreement that obligates you to provide that information? I think in the absence of that, it would be you doing a courtesy. No, I wouldn't take responsibility for getting the child to maintain a relationship with their parent. And I wouldn't participate if Dad...

@wenura It doesn't seem to me like there's anything further you need to do in this situation. Daughter already has the pants she wants, she can choose to carry them along with her to your house Mom has made a suggestion which is fine. That suggestion doesnt work in your budget, which is fine...

@thomas1985 You can reach out to her directly to advise that since you weren't consulted regarding the therapy and it's scheduled for your day, she'll need to reschedule You can reach out to her directly to advise that you're not okay with her making plans for LO during your custody time...

@ron1999 I'd rely on my experience processing abandonment trauma in therapy, which would mean helping my toddler identify what they're feeling and providing some context. So I'd validate that not getting picked up would make me feel disappointed, confused, lonely, hurt, rejected... And discuss...

@msmia Hey! That's a huge acknowledgement and excellent accountability. I think the vast majority of us start out that way since there's not a whole lot of parenting around how to set and maintain boundaries. Knowing that me having poor boundaries would mean I wouldn't know how to teach my...

@scarfacemcfan Finding fault with a third person for the boundaries in your current relationship is no different than betrayed spouses being angry with the person their partner cheated on. It's easier to blame someone else than accept that your partner is responsible for their decisions. When...

@msmia That is a conflict avoidant mindset aka let me do this thing I'm not comfortable doing in this moment to avoid exacerbating the conflict. When in reality it's - let me do this thing in this moment because I don't think I can handle this person getting very upset with me. Boundaries are...

@msmia You can choose not to have a relationship with this lady that involves her contacting you about your child since she's clearly very emotionally immature. You can choose not to respond and perpetuate these kinds of conversations. Entertaining the convo with her about the content of her...