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  1. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @katrina2017 That's interesting to read, actually. Is there a reason why?
  2. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @calmcacil My mother in law will get the non birthday girls 2-4 gifts each. My wife will get them 2 each. It's just ridiculous.
  3. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @becausegodlovesus Agreed. It's sad to see. They get to the point where they get disappointed now when they get like only a board game.
  4. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @jsanford108 This is exactly right. Sometimes it's so hard to see the wood through the trees, especially in this family dynamic I'm in. M.I.L love bombing is an understatement. She goes so far it makes me very uncomfortable. She went through a lot with my wife when my wife was a kid and I think...
  5. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @msdelrio Yes! This!! They don't understand that you may be making other girls feel better by making the one whose special day it is, feel worse. My mother in law spends 100's on their birthday. I don't know if it is just because I was brought up being thankful for the small things my folks...
  6. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @widow2009 I am exactly the same! I grew up in Africa, where times were very hard sometimes. Christmas to me was spending time with family and having a BBQ outside. Gifts were actually not much on our agenda. We did other things instead like fmaily sports days or going to the beach. Christmas is...
  7. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @lulu730 Luckys dad!! Couldn't agree more.
  8. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @sarah92ali Thanks a lot. That rings very true with what you're saying. When my eldest was born, we didn't lay down ground rules. I had just moved in with my wife and her mum after moving cities to be with her. We were in a LDR beforehand. It was hard to come into that dynamic and enforce my own...
  9. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @sarah92ali I just feel like I get cut down every time I mention it. My mother in law is quite opinionated and can usually do nothing wrong in her own eyes. Pointing that out won't be a good idea for the family dynamic as much as it pains me not to.
  10. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @fleshisweak This is what I have tried bringing up, but it backfires. I moved cities to be with my wife (gf at the time), so I moved into her family dynamic. I still feel like an outsider, especially with my M.I.L. She is very matriarchal. I think I need to have some conversations going forward...
  11. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @lorrainegodslittlegirl I hate it, and it makes me feel disappointed in both my mother in law and wife. They can not see what damage they are doing to their future development.
  12. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @jaltatujkazoe I agree totally with you. It'll be a harder lesson to learn later in life
  13. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    @newlywed13 Glad I'm not the only one. I've tried telling them my concerns but it falls on deaf ears. I'm sure you all know what that's like.
  14. J

    The 'not your birthday present' tradition my M.I.L started

    My mother in law always means well, and I get along with her for the most part. I have 4 daughters aged 10, 9, 6, and 4. When my two oldest were born and had their birthdays, she thought it a good idea to buy the girl whose birthday it wasn't , a present. Because of this, my wife does the same...
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