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@unclemack It's the main reason I didn't have a second child. My first has always been hard to get to bed and I couldn't imagine managing her as toddler plus newborn, as I have no family help.

@relle25 I think it's nice for children to see that their language exists and is used outside of the home, but the importance of that probably depends on the family.

@jd34 Even now my kid is older I hate that my partner works evenings, those hours are still bath and bedtime routine time plus the time when most things I'd want to be doing for myself happen. His shifts rotate at least but long term it's not a great lifestyle.

@nathan98 That's ok, a man not willing to make even the slightest effort to move out of his comfort zone to make his wife happy isn't a big loss. Nobody said it had to be an immediate or drastic change but in a relationship you have to compromise. Both of you, men aren't the ones with the power...

@nathan98 Um, asking your partner about their day is not a big ask. And emotional intimacy is part of a romantic relationship. That can take different forms but if a person doesn't want that they shouldn't get into a relationship. I could pay a handyman to do tasks around the house, that's not a...

@nathan98 I don't agree that it's ok to just disregard someone's feelings because of personality type. He doesn't have to change completely but it's not a change of personality to show some empathy.

@theperfectbone Yes, hopefully one day! I do have a stick one but the battery doesn't last, I hadn't heard of being able to use other batteries, will investigate for the future.

@abraham7777 Yes, i only have one and it was one of the main reasons. I do have a friend with three and they don't have family help or much money. Her husband is super disciplined and organised though which helps a lot.

@carolus We live in a really tall thin townhouse, with flights of stairs basically between every room. So i guess i could do a room at a time but it wouldn't be practical. And wouldn't do the stairs which is the worst part for collecting dust. Unless you're going to tell me they've invented a...

@carolus Yes. For various reasons ours isn't exactly 50/50 and I do more, including mental load. But I delegate things to him as far as possible (he works crazy hours). Unfortunately i can't have a roomba because we have a million stairs😥.

@cristy This sounds almost exactly like my partner. If I'm sick, injured, sad, he has no sympathy whatsoever. He often acts suprised about things I've done or am doing, and it's because I've stopped even telling him anything unless he really needs to know because of childcare or something. I run...

@jmz My daughter didn't really speak until 3, but her monolingual cousin was basically exactly the same.

@paleophyte The tie doesn't have to be related to your family or anything. Your love for the language and culture is a tie, and it's not an unmoving thing. It doesn't mean someone can't learn a new language, just that it's always going to be easier if you're motivated to do so and have an...

@anlytcphil I don't think I'd feel comfortable expecting teachers at a normal daycare to learn words in my language and reinforce them. I'd still talk to them and see how they approach it but I think it's a bit much to send in a list and expect them to be on top of it and remembering the words.

@paleophyte Well I don't agree a language is a language, one you have ties to is different, but I also speak both and agree speaking one will help with the other, and bilingual children have much more facility for learning languages.

@etxn1960 My parents are extremely dysfunctional and while we have contact it's minimal. I wouldn't allow them to babysit, and although it makes things harder for me it's my job to protect my child from what I went through.

@aidenb Ah, well if he's doing other activities that's fine. Honestly, if you don't really want the help I'm not sure I'd get into an arrangement like that. Language issues aside I'd be worried about it being a burden to be committed to caring for someone else's child a few days a week. Maybe...

@aidenb I understand Japanese is important to you, and if you're not interested in childcare help don't do this, but if you feel a break for you and socialising for your child would be good for both of you don't sacrifice everything for language. At the very least make sure your child is getting...