WTT worries solved by semi TTC?

[urbanglorycampaigns]

Im in a weird place where, we are financially stable, but not the best budgeting/ some over spending habits etc. but we plan to make our own business in the next decade. Which is why we decided to wait on starting a family till we transition careers etc.
My most hating thing in waiting is gaining too much information about the science and realities of conceiving.

In afraid because I’ve always wanted to have at least one biological child. But I’ve never participated in risky sex or been on BC to gauge my ability to conceive. My mother having endometrial cancer, is why I’m an only child, gives me more worry. Which is why I have done a fertility test online, but I never got the numbers interpreted because they were normal for my age 25f going on 26 according to the site. Anytime the topic comes up i know waiting til like 32 or something isn’t bad it’s just scary. I don’t think I could be happy finding out late that something was wrong and I never bothered to try or did anything. I wouldn’t mind adopting but like I want to be able to see what me and my husband could have made. And I feel like adopting would make me sad if I HAD to, IVF etc to me are too expensive to even consider when children are in the system.

Only way i’ve been ok with the topic is not talking about it. My husband I think like most guys don’t have worries as their abilities don’t suffer as ours do, and he says i’m worried about nothing. Today he even suggested being unsafe and see what happens even if conceiving now would make our plans more difficult not impossible and the worry would be gone~ Semi TTC would be non pulling out on non ovulation days? Vs what we have done which is full pullout method regardless of the day or w/condoms, no other BC forms
And on the flip end, if it doesn’t we can see why/ see what we can do as we continue our current trajectory-

Sorry for the length, any comments would help, thank you for reading!

 

[mikeyd0110]

@urbanglorycampaigns Yeah, odds are you'll be pregnant within a year doing that unless you're using a legitimate FAM/NFP method. How are you tracking ovulation?

 

[johnabill]

@urbanglorycampaigns If you use an app to tell you when you're fertile you're using the rhythm method. That includes Natural Cycles. The length of your cycle can't tell you when you ovulate, and you can ovulate early or late compared to your own average. You need a solid marker that your fertile window has opened and a solid marker that it has closed and an app will never be able to do that for you.

If you're serious about finishing inside without the intention of trying to get pregnant you need to pick and learn an established method of FAM. The cheapest introduction would be reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility but there are dozens of methods out there.

 

[urbanglorycampaigns]

@johnabill I think I will take your advice, i know sex isn’t without its pregnancy risks but if i do my all to prevent and it still happens (slip up or not) i’d be excited. Thank you!

 

[johnabill]

@urbanglorycampaigns It sounds like you're a perfect candidate to use FAM! The wiki and pinned posts in the FAMnNFP subreddit are great.

 

[learntolive]

@urbanglorycampaigns Those apps can incorrectly predict your ovulation times. People have variation I'm their luteal phase length- I highly recommend tracking cervical mucus, OPKs, advanced ovulation tests, and/ or BBT to pinpoint your actual ovulation times. They can change for all sorts of reasons, like being sick or travelling. And you may have only a 10 day luteal phase, which would mean your app could tell you it's safe when you're actually your most fertile.

 

[divinelambofgod]

@urbanglorycampaigns I got pregnant with my first baby while pulling out every single time. I got off BC in Jan of that year and by Aug I got a very surprising BFP. Not pulling out on non ovulation days isn’t “Semi TTC”, it is just TTC lol. Which is totally fine of course, just don’t want you to convince yourself that it isn’t actually TTC and then being shocked when/ if you get pregnant.

 

[urbanglorycampaigns]

@divinelambofgod Yeah i’ve heard that happens, we were using condoms regularly initially and its been about a year or so that we haven’t used condoms just pullout method alone. And I don’t use any other form of birth control~ at first i would freak about being pregnant but get negatives, I think i give myself anxiety lol

 

[divinelambofgod]

@urbanglorycampaigns And I probably should have had a lot more anxiety about it, because I was convinced we were being very safe lol totally delulu

 

[urbanglorycampaigns]

@divinelambofgod Based on the responses i’m thinking i’ve actually been preventing pregnancy fairly decently, although not full proof, and trying (“unintentionally”) probably would require better tracking or i’d be pregnant within a year or so, I’m thinking longer due to the infrequency (truck driver hubby) but least i got some good bases if i decide to go through with it. Cause its kinda scary the idea cause i’ve given myself so much worry trying to prevent so to switch would be weird initially.

 

[angelica009]

@urbanglorycampaigns There's no such thing as semi TTC. You are or you aren't! If you don't want to get pregnant now, use a reliable form of contraception.

If you're not actively preventing pregnancy, you're trying to get pregnant. All this "just see what happens" nonsense is truthfully a red flag from my perspective. Sex makes babies, we all know this. People should only try to get pregnant if they firmly want to have a baby right now. If you're still on the fence, wait. Every child deserves to be 100% wanted and born into a family who is ready for them. Anything less is unfair, IMO.

 

[urbanglorycampaigns]

@angelica009 I can definitely see that being a red flag. I think it’s just as people who never had kids it’s always gonna be scary? (I got family trauma,tbh) It’s a whole other person! But we both do strongly want least one biological and more if we can but obviously not so closely together~ so its daunts me that if i want you know til im 32 to start it would be factor in time it takes to conceive then age gaps i wouldn’t be able to have another etc if we wanted~

 

[denim]

@urbanglorycampaigns Just here to give my regular PSA that men’s “abilities” do indeed suffer (not the point of your post, I know!) Just not quite as early as women’s start to. Most men just don’t think about it because they’ve been told their whole lives that they can easily have healthy children at any age they want to.

 

[worriedmommie]

@urbanglorycampaigns If that is your plan, I think you both need to fully be okay with the risk of getting pregnant. I used FAM to track my fertile window and we didn’t pull out on non-fertile days as you described. I got pregnant after a year of using this method as I missed some fertile signs and ovulated much earlier in my cycle than expected.

 

[urbanglorycampaigns]

@worriedmommie I should probably look into FAM, does it use period data to estimate ovulation?

 

[worriedmommie]

@urbanglorycampaigns There are apps for it like natural cycles that I think do but I also recommend reading “Taking charge of your fertility” as it teaches you about the fertile signs to look for (like cervical mucus/ position). You will need to take your bbt (basal body temperature) each morning for both of these.

Going off of previous period data alone won’t always be effective (as I slipped up and experienced lol) which is why it’s important to stay on top of fertile signs too if you are looking to effectively prevent pregnancy with these methods.