Unreal Success with Ferber

niki24

New member
I type this message knowing we very well may just be lucky, but I wanted to share our experience of resounding success using the Ferber method.

Tonight was our fourth night using Ferber, and our nearly 20-week old son not only was looking forward to bed, but fell asleep in under 5 minutes without so much as a peep. Every day since we started this a few nights ago he has been the happiest we have ever seen him. I do not believe for a second that this caused anything negative with him despite him being a bit angry the first two nights (this won't be the last time I make him do something he doesn't want to do but for his own benefit). We have been pretty adamant about forcing the crib since he was about a month old and making sure to have a wind down routine every night but his sleep was so irregular and needed a pacifier reinsertion countless times a night as well as being picked up and calmed.

Night one: We kept him up about 1 hour later than usual, but also were realizing that his last wake window had grown recently as well recently. We decided to drop the pacifier for both night and nap sleep. Our usual routine of lights down, massage or bath, quiet talk and cuddles and then into the crib in a dark as can be room. He fussed / cried / was annoyed for about 35 minutes, he quieted down and went to sleep at 40. We followed check in times exactly as indicated by Ferber. He slept for 6 hours straight without any intervention. He was previously sleeping no more than 1.5 hours at a time. He woke to eat and then slept a few more hours. We are still working on the morning half of this equation. But its gotten better each day.

Night two: Same routine. 35 minutes before asleep - 15 total minutes of crying. 5 of fussing. 7 hours straight of sleep.

Night three: Same routine, 12 minutes before sleep, one checkin. He looked at me during it and stopped crying and just seemed to know exactly what was going on. Fell asleep about a minute after I left. He woke once at around 4 hours and cried. Did a single check in but did not feed as he went 7 hours the night before. He was back to sleep in about 10 minutes. Slept 8 total hours before eating.

Night four: can't speak for the entire evening. But he went to sleep in 5 minutes without even a peep. Just a bit moving wiggling and doing his thing after the calmest pre-bed routine we have ever had.

Each morning he has been SO smiley and giggly and just the happiest dude ever. My wife and I are both flabbergasted and SOOOO happy we chose to do this. Obviously this isn't going to work the same for everyone. But I just want to scream "F*** YESSSSS" from the rooftops. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping or doing whatever else you feel is right. But I know for sure that this has benefited all of us tremendously. I'm still totally creeped out by the concept of people sleep training brand new borns, but I also understand there are certain circumstances that might call for that for the safety of everyone involved.

Hope this helps inspire anyone on the fence! We were obviously nervous about this as well, but honestly, the crying wasn't as bad as expected and again, i must reemphasize just how happy he has been. Cheers y'all! Happy sleeping!
 
@niki24 That has been our experience as well.

The smiley happy baby appeared right after sleeptraining. Before? Not su much. Mostly grumpy.

First one at 4.5mo and twins at 3mo (2 adjusted). First one took three days, twins just one
 
@niki24 Thank you for posting this!!! I'm starting this weekend, and I keep asking myself "why am I doing this again?!" because she's not a horrible sleeper (just needs boatloads of rocking before bed).

Are you tackling naps?! I want to, because we have a serial contact napper here and that won't be practical forever. If you do, keep us me posted hahah.

Thank you again for sharing a positive experience.
 
@kum Hey! Good luck! I bet your little dude will catch on quick. We are sort of tackling naps. We no longer use a pacifier for any sleep which is a step towards independent naps. However we are still holding/rocking him until calm right now and then letting him do the rest in the crib. The last month prior has been a battle for naps and now he goes down in minutes. This tells me he’s learning the process. Stoked to see how this all looks after a few weeks.
 
@kingdomkings Yea we sorta just didn’t allow it as an option any longer. Which was surprising how well he took to it. Still using it for stroller naps and a “mute button” while we work from home as needed though. But no longer for sleep!
 
@niki24 We had a similar experience!

Since our baby was born (now 20 weeks as well) we've been really adamant to avoid contact naps and always slept overnight in bassinet since they were 4 weeks old - - we did a doc a tot the first 4 weeks.

4 month sleep regression hit hard and they went from 4-5 hour stretches in between wakeups and feeds down to 1-2 hours which meant we were constantly up all night. And where before we could put her down drowsy, she was starting to fight naps and sleep time.

After 3 weeks of this, with frustrations building because we thought we were doing everything right, we decided to do a modified Ferber and let her cry it out for 15-20 mins with no check-ins.

The first night she cried and woke up every hour or so, but always put herself back to sleep within 10 minutes. Then at midnight she slept all the way until 6am!

The next two nights went even better, hardly any crying and multiple long stretches in between a night feed. She regressed a little on night 4 at the start but finished strong. Nights 5 and now 6(tonight) are going great.

We also just transitioned from bassinet to crib today and she seems to be doing great in there!

So yes, we were at our wit's end but doing the CIO was like a freakin' lightswitch turning off and we've now got a really good sleeper! Can't recommend it enough once baby hits 4 months
 
@niki24 Wow awesome! I am nervous about doing this but hoping to have a similar experience. What time does he go to bed and is it at the exact same time each night? What did you do for check ins? Thanks for sharing!
 
@devinseviyn Hey! Yea, there were times when we were thinking to ourselves "do we just bed share?" or just wait it out? But this has been insanely transformative. Of course it will be a week or two until we know all the kins are worked out, but so far so good. Bed time has fluctuated a bit over the last few days as we are trying to bring it earlier. We are much more concerned about consistent wake-windows and day sleep amounts as opposed to bed time. Check ins have been me patting him on the chest, telling him I love him and I know it sucks but he is doing great and maybe a head stroke or two. Totaling 1 minute and then leaving the room. Best of luck!
 
@devinseviyn After googling / redditting sleep-training stuff for nearly hundreds of hours over the last few months, I knew it would be helpful to post a success story. I enjoyed reading them and they gave me hope on something that felt somewhat hopeless. Cheers!
 
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