Transitioning Woes

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thefisher07

New member
Does anyone else feel ready to transfer baby out of your bed but too overwhelmed to commit? And by baby I mean a 20m old toddler. I've perused different methods, talked to several moms and tried to do what feels natural for us too but I'm just so overwhelmed with the process of transitioning. All of the different ways to go about it, having to ask for help, what to do if/when x, y, and z happen, so on and so on. I feel like we fell into cosleeping bc it was the path of least resistance and then I did research and have seen the benefits firsthand so I was very comfortable with it. However, I am feeling ready to transition and just struggling to do it. Can anyone else relate?
 
@thefisher07 Why make it so complicated? Carry on until it no longer works for you and the temporary effort of committing to a different settling method or location is outweighed by the benefits of not having to do the old one any more.

You could move LO into a single bed or floor mattress and just bed hop throughout the night, trusting that eventually you'll spend less time together and more apart.

Or you could start the night out in the crib and after a certain time (or certain number of failed put downs) bring them to your bed. Just make the "certain time" later and later as you get used to it. I found this helpful because when I was like OHHHH GODDDD JUST NEEEEEEED SLEEEEEEP I could tell myself, OK, I'll try until 1am and if no luck I can stop.

I didn't find any if/when issues or need any help? What complicated methods are you looking at 😅

I do think it helps to commit, because it gets results faster, but you can also do it haphazardly/responsively if you want to, it will just take longer. No big deal. I feel like the "sleep training industry" is all "If you start something and then go back YOUR BABY'S BRAIN WILL MELT" and that doesn't make any sense. You can do it gradually? It's fine.
 
@thefisher07 That’s been too early to transition for my kids. I have 4, and my oldest started sleeping on his own around 3.5. His younger brother is following suit, my third child is a little over two and still bed sharing.

It isn’t worth the stress for us to force independent sleep on my kids. They’ll do it when they want and when they’re developmentally ready.
 
@wren84 That sounds amazing. We have a queen. One of us had to sleep on the guest bed during the last couple months of pregnancy, couldn’t fit the pregnancy pillow 😂
 
@thefisher07 Same, except mine is 12 months. Our bed is not the quietest so if we are with LO and try to get up, we have to do it in slo-mo because it may creak and wake him up. Which then he starts to toss and turn and we have to settle him. Sometimes I feel like we'd all get better sleep if he had his own sleep space (crib), still in our room though (which he does, but when we put him in it, he just thinks it's party time). Like you, I don't want to go through the transition because I feel like it won't be easy. We have a bed rail on one side and one of us will sleep on the other side to block him if he decided to go to the edge. I like the idea of floor beds, but in the area we live at, it's not safe with the possible critters that come at night, especially in the summertime, so for now, I feel stuck. We get so so sleep, but both my husband and I wake often if LO moves around so I feel like we aren't getting a lot of quality sleep.
 
@thefisher07 Ya we try every few months and recently got her a floor bed. Then she'd walk over lol. One night I slept with her then she got me and walked ne over to the bed with my husband. She wanted us all together. I miss my space but I'll miss her being this small way more. That's been my approach.
 
@alex440 Same here. We try every few months and it doesn't really go anywhere so we stop. We've had a toddler floor bed for awhile too. She got out of it the other night and just straight woke up for like 5 hours in the night which was not fun. I agree with loving mine being small too and I don't think she needs to be out of my bed forever but she rolls around so much at night now and I'm starting to feel like I'm hindering her ability to learn self soothing and for us both to get better sleep since she smells me and I'm right next to her. Idk. Just things I've been thinking about.
 
@thefisher07 Definitely read about this “learn self soothing” thing you’re mentioning. It’s kind of nonsense honestly. Independent sleep isn’t self soothing, it’s just developmental. All kids are different and independent sleep isn’t something you can teach, it just happens when they have the developmental awareness to know they’re feel safe at night when they’re not in the room with you.
 
@thefisher07 I just heard an interview with Dr Angelique Millette and she spoke about this feeling from the parents. Maybe her website will have something for you?
Mine is 8 months and still protesting the sidecar crib, so I don’t have any personal experience.
 
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