Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness day. It is also the 2 year anniversary of my D&C

[crescima]

Edit: yesterday was the day, I definitely woke up this morning thinking it was the 15th

This means it has also been over two years since trying to conceive again, with no positive results. Two years of invasive tests, exploratory surgeries, expensive ovulation kits, fertility doctors, negatives, pills with awful side effects, meticulous diet tracking, and depression.

Two years of friends and family successfully having beautiful babies that I can't even bring myself to hold, or even ask about, because it just hurts too much. Some friends have met their forever partner, got engaged, got married, AND carried a healthy baby to term in the last two years that we've just been TTC.

Today is the day we're meant to be seen, but even now I am practically incapable of talking about it. So instead I'm reaching out to this community, where so many are feeling the same, deep pain that I am.

If you're struggling to conceive and can't talk about it, I see you.

If you have lost a pregnancy and still don't have a baby to hold, I see you.

If you hate yourself for being jealous and incapable of happiness for those who managed to have a healthy baby, I see you.

If you are sick and tired of this fucked up "journey," I see you. I am you.

Words often fail to breach the utter loneliness that is infertility and pregnancy loss, but today, try to take a small amount of comfort from the that fact that you are truly not alone. I will be trying, and I will continue to try.

Love to everyone.

 

[potterpoole]

@crescima I thought it was yesterday? (Atleast in the US anyway as it’s 10.16.23 right now, here)

Either way, I lost my daughter when I was 7.5 months along and for anyone who has ever lost a baby, no matter how far along, I see you and I understand the heartache and pain. You never become whole again. There aren’t words to explain the hurt, but I feel it, and you’re not alone.

Edit to add I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, friend. I thought I put that in my original comment but I did not. You are deff not alone, and if you ever wanna talk, I’m always around.

 

[enia08]

@potterpoole Sending you love

 

[elevangeliodehoy]

@crescima “If you have lost a pregnancy and still don’t have a baby to hold, I see you.”

I don’t know why, but that sentiment resonated with me. Losing a pregnancy, knowing how far along I’d be if I didn’t, is something I’m struggling the most with.

Most days I’m okay. I told my husband I went a whole five days without crying, but didn’t make it to six.

 

[germo155]

@crescima I lost twins in July. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve been through. I also had to have a D and C. We have been trying to conceive since then with no luck. It’s a long journey.

 

[daregreatly17]

@crescima I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for this kind message I had a chemical in Sept ‘22 and an ectopic in June ‘23.

Sending you and everyone in this sub so much love

 

[momom]

@crescima I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been TTC since October 2021 and have had 3 miscarriages since. The last one was especially bad that I've developed tokophobia and health anxiety. I am very envious of others that I know that have had quick and smooth pregnancies.

I feel especially isolated now because of my current conflicting feelings and ongoing health issues.

 

[hazardousblock]

@crescima I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how it feels to lose a pregnancy, I have never had a positive test, but my heart goes out to you and everyone who has been unfortunate enough to experience that.

 

[ecarg]

@crescima