Switching daycares?

[timothythe2nd]

Hey everyone - could really use some unbiased advice here.

I have B/G twins, age 3.5yrs. They’ve been at the same chain daycare since they were 4mos old. My girl twin is a social butterfly, adaptable, well-liked, seems to have always thrived there. My boy twin started biting around 18mos (likely due to a speech delay addressed through our county’s infants and toddlers program) and persisted for a while. They even wrote up a formal plan for him, presumably to prepare to kick him out. He got bumped up into the pre-K class with 4+5yr olds last year and did SO much better. With the new school year, those kids moved on to regular school and they moved him back down into the 4yr old class with his sister. He’s been kicked out twice for biting since.

I definitely think part of it has to do with the transition - new teachers, classmates, environment. (Although having been there for his whole life, he knows pretty much every room and teacher thus far!) He did a lot better the second week. Then today he relapses and has an awful day, I assume due to transitioning back after a busy and fun long weekend.

We’re starting up with a local therapy group to evaluate for OT plan; I think daycare is getting pressure from parents about our kid biting. Which of course I can’t blame them, but it also makes me so sad. He doesn’t bite at home, or his sister in school. He is super intelligent, observant and independent and I do wonder if he gets bored. Maybe the big kid stuff was more interesting?

To make a long story short, I’m looking at other schools for them because I feel like it’s got to just be a matter of time until they release him. I worry that he’ll act up somewhere else too and they won’t be as gracious with us as the existing school we have such a long relationship with. But I want what’s best for him.

Thoughts/advice welcome.

 

[guevaraj]

@timothythe2nd Why would they move him down instead of keeping him in the 4-5 year olds class (and letting other, new kids move up to him)? If his behavior was good, I'd propose trying him in that class again. It could be boredom, as you state. I'd be leery to move him before the OT evaluations—as you point out, you might jump out of a frying and into a fire. Additionally, he may qualify for public support if his behaviors meet certain criteria, which at least in my area would be administered through the public school system after 3, meaning it might be another move once you've already moved him.

Can you request a meeting with the director and lay it out for them - Kid was biting and having behavior trouble. Being with older kids seemed to improve his behaviors. Moving him back down has brought the problematic behaviors back—let's try him in the bigger kids classroom again and see how that goes?

 

[timothythe2nd]

@guevaraj Right, that was my first question. So the new pre-Kids were 4yo last summer and they tried him with them at that time and it was pretty bad with biting. So they didn’t want to put him back in with them again, which is reasonable. He’s been bumped around a lot in his time there which I’m sure doesn’t help.

Good point about moving before evaluations completed.

Thank you

 

[worriedmom1968]

@timothythe2nd As a special education teacher, I would see about getting him evaluated for services. He could qualify for a special pre school to help better prepare him for kindergarten through an ECSE class.

 

[timothythe2nd]

@worriedmom1968 Thank you. He had an evaluation in school last week by a local therapy group for occupational therapy. (I’d also like him evaluated for speech as he has trouble with R’s, which they will arrange.) ADD runs in both my and my husband’s family and he certainly fits a lot of the criteria. I wonder about autism too but so much else about him is neurotypical. Is there anyone else I should be consulting, aside from his pediatrician? I appreciate your input!

 

[worriedmom1968]

@timothythe2nd You should be able to contact your local school district to have him evaluated. If they evaluate him and they say he qualifies for services, then he can attend an ECSE program and it would pretty much be him going to preschool but in the public school setting. Those programs work a lot on pre-kindergarten skills and social emotional and behavior skills in order to prepare students for kindergarten.