traveller2wisdom
New member
My ex-partner (27m) broke up with me (27f) back in late June, we have three young kids (5y,3y,9m) and still live together.
We rent, he’s worked while I stayed at home with our littles for the past 1.5years.
We moved across the country 3x, for his job in (GA)2019-2020, then I moved back home(CA) in 2020-2021, then back again for his job and “fresh start” in (GA)2021-now.
Previously I was a SAHP from 2018-2020, I moved back home and went back to work and school in late 2020 after finding out my ex was cheating.
I believed his sweet words and decided to move back across the country, turns out he was still lying and now 1.5y later since that move he’s done with me.
SO, he’d been pushy on me getting a job and moving out since breaking up. I made it clear that since I haven’t worked for 1.5years finding an apartment will be tough so better that he leaves. He said no and said he’d move into the garage cos it’d be too expensive for him to go.
I have a job now, and am working towards getting my license in teaching. However, before working I took care of ALL house/child duties. Grocery shopping, car maintenance, laundry, all meals, caring for his 2 dogs and bird, doctors/dentist appointments, therapy for one child, bedtime routine, maintaining all aspects of the house, feeding our youngest(breastfed, he doesn’t give him a bottle or ever make him his oatmeal cereal or baby food). Getting the kids ready to school, taking them and picking them up, helping with homework. Making sure our baby is meeting all his milestones.
My ex would just work, and come home and turn the tv on. Watch movies with our kids, and occasionally put them to bed. But wouldn’t do the whole book reading, flossing, brushing, or changing into pajamas.
Now that I’m working, I’m still doing everything. I don’t think it’s fair, i didn’t think it was really fair before. But I understood his work was very physically demanding + he’s not so patient with our kids too.. so I took on the load.
He’s said for me to quit my job and he’ll “just maintain me” until the kids are older, or gets upset when I ask him for help because his job “is more important, because it pays the bills.”
This man is paying for only fans, splurging on new shoes and clothes and apparently going out on dates (idc, I just care about how much he’s spending). So clearly he’s got the money. But I hate how he just threw it in my face that helping me out is too much to ask for and he’d rather I just quit.
He does cover all the bills, and gives me 200-350 a week for the kids(most of the time). Am I being unreasonable for asking him to be more helpful in the household/child responsibilities? Or should we be sharing more of it?
I work 8-5, M-F leave at 6:30 to take youngest to daycare and the older to school, don’t get home until 7 after picking up everyone. I usually come home during my lunch to prepare dinner and pump(breastmilk).
While he goes to work 7am-7/11pm M-F it varies on his jobs.
Weekends, I’m pretty much with the kids all day while he’s chilling watching tv or goes out with his friends. I take our kids to church on Sunday and am with them for the rest of the day.
We rent, he’s worked while I stayed at home with our littles for the past 1.5years.
We moved across the country 3x, for his job in (GA)2019-2020, then I moved back home(CA) in 2020-2021, then back again for his job and “fresh start” in (GA)2021-now.
Previously I was a SAHP from 2018-2020, I moved back home and went back to work and school in late 2020 after finding out my ex was cheating.
I believed his sweet words and decided to move back across the country, turns out he was still lying and now 1.5y later since that move he’s done with me.
SO, he’d been pushy on me getting a job and moving out since breaking up. I made it clear that since I haven’t worked for 1.5years finding an apartment will be tough so better that he leaves. He said no and said he’d move into the garage cos it’d be too expensive for him to go.
I have a job now, and am working towards getting my license in teaching. However, before working I took care of ALL house/child duties. Grocery shopping, car maintenance, laundry, all meals, caring for his 2 dogs and bird, doctors/dentist appointments, therapy for one child, bedtime routine, maintaining all aspects of the house, feeding our youngest(breastfed, he doesn’t give him a bottle or ever make him his oatmeal cereal or baby food). Getting the kids ready to school, taking them and picking them up, helping with homework. Making sure our baby is meeting all his milestones.
My ex would just work, and come home and turn the tv on. Watch movies with our kids, and occasionally put them to bed. But wouldn’t do the whole book reading, flossing, brushing, or changing into pajamas.
Now that I’m working, I’m still doing everything. I don’t think it’s fair, i didn’t think it was really fair before. But I understood his work was very physically demanding + he’s not so patient with our kids too.. so I took on the load.
He’s said for me to quit my job and he’ll “just maintain me” until the kids are older, or gets upset when I ask him for help because his job “is more important, because it pays the bills.”
This man is paying for only fans, splurging on new shoes and clothes and apparently going out on dates (idc, I just care about how much he’s spending). So clearly he’s got the money. But I hate how he just threw it in my face that helping me out is too much to ask for and he’d rather I just quit.
He does cover all the bills, and gives me 200-350 a week for the kids(most of the time). Am I being unreasonable for asking him to be more helpful in the household/child responsibilities? Or should we be sharing more of it?
I work 8-5, M-F leave at 6:30 to take youngest to daycare and the older to school, don’t get home until 7 after picking up everyone. I usually come home during my lunch to prepare dinner and pump(breastmilk).
While he goes to work 7am-7/11pm M-F it varies on his jobs.
Weekends, I’m pretty much with the kids all day while he’s chilling watching tv or goes out with his friends. I take our kids to church on Sunday and am with them for the rest of the day.