katie_hannah
New member
Hi all,
I’ve been surfing on this page for a bit reading other posts about going from 1-2. Im hoping some experienced parents here can help. Sorry if this is a long post, I have so many questions in my head and no one to ask in real life haha! Some background- I’m 28, hubs is 36, our toddler is 2 (in Sept) and my stepdaughter is 10. SD is with us EOWE and we don’t see that changing. We were pretty much one and done, which we say because SD isn’t here often and the age gap is large so our daughter is pretty much an only child and will have that experience growing up if we don’t have another. We have the means to have another comfortably, financially good, lots of space in the house and I’m able to stay at home. Now, we have been going back and forth now that our toddler is getting older, I’m just missing that newborn phase so much. I love my daughter immensely and it hurts my heart to think that I’ll never have that experience of raising another because she’s just been such a joy and these past 2 years have been the best of our lives with her and I really just love being a mom. With that being said, I get absolutely terrified of losing out on my time alone with her if we have another and being able to focus solely on her. I’m a SAHM and plan to do so until she’s in pre-k. We’re so happy with our family right now but there is this nagging thought for both of us that maybe another wouldn’t be so bad. I think I get scared because of the shit you hear about how hard it is, can’t do anything, etc etc. We’ve found that now things are getting easier, able to spend more time together, more alone time, just easier. I’m not so worried about raising an only child as I came from a blended family where I was the youngest and pretty much grew up as an only so I see the benefits but at times wish I had someone else in the house and didn’t feel like a 3rd wheel. I wonder if I’ll always miss having a baby or grieve this phase of raising kids whether I have another one or not.
So, I have a few questions regarding things that are on my mind if we add another or how this may work in our lives.
(1): Travel. We love to travel. We don’t do any huge trips but would love to keep travelling and make that a big part of our lives and kids lives. We do Mexico trips, Bahamas, weekend trips (pre-kid). Now that our girl is 2, it’s getting easier to travel and will only get easier. How is this with 2 kids? I’m afraid that traveling if we add another will be daunting and not very enjoyable for us as parents.
(2): kids activities. I think about the things my daughter will want to do like extracurriculars and hobbies all that and worry that having another will have to take away from that and take us as parents away from being able to be there for her activities.
(3): Did those who went from 1-2 ever feel like they regret that decision? Regret probably isn’t the right word but hopefully you catch my drift. Did it make your life a lot harder? Did you feel like it was worth it? Did it hurt your marriage?
I apologize that this is so scattered but I needed to get this out. It feels like I think about this constantly because my daughter is getting older and I wouldn’t want to have a large age gap so it feels like my clock is ticking and having responses from experienced parents will hopefully help ease my anxiety. Thanks for reading!!!
I’ve been surfing on this page for a bit reading other posts about going from 1-2. Im hoping some experienced parents here can help. Sorry if this is a long post, I have so many questions in my head and no one to ask in real life haha! Some background- I’m 28, hubs is 36, our toddler is 2 (in Sept) and my stepdaughter is 10. SD is with us EOWE and we don’t see that changing. We were pretty much one and done, which we say because SD isn’t here often and the age gap is large so our daughter is pretty much an only child and will have that experience growing up if we don’t have another. We have the means to have another comfortably, financially good, lots of space in the house and I’m able to stay at home. Now, we have been going back and forth now that our toddler is getting older, I’m just missing that newborn phase so much. I love my daughter immensely and it hurts my heart to think that I’ll never have that experience of raising another because she’s just been such a joy and these past 2 years have been the best of our lives with her and I really just love being a mom. With that being said, I get absolutely terrified of losing out on my time alone with her if we have another and being able to focus solely on her. I’m a SAHM and plan to do so until she’s in pre-k. We’re so happy with our family right now but there is this nagging thought for both of us that maybe another wouldn’t be so bad. I think I get scared because of the shit you hear about how hard it is, can’t do anything, etc etc. We’ve found that now things are getting easier, able to spend more time together, more alone time, just easier. I’m not so worried about raising an only child as I came from a blended family where I was the youngest and pretty much grew up as an only so I see the benefits but at times wish I had someone else in the house and didn’t feel like a 3rd wheel. I wonder if I’ll always miss having a baby or grieve this phase of raising kids whether I have another one or not.
So, I have a few questions regarding things that are on my mind if we add another or how this may work in our lives.
(1): Travel. We love to travel. We don’t do any huge trips but would love to keep travelling and make that a big part of our lives and kids lives. We do Mexico trips, Bahamas, weekend trips (pre-kid). Now that our girl is 2, it’s getting easier to travel and will only get easier. How is this with 2 kids? I’m afraid that traveling if we add another will be daunting and not very enjoyable for us as parents.
(2): kids activities. I think about the things my daughter will want to do like extracurriculars and hobbies all that and worry that having another will have to take away from that and take us as parents away from being able to be there for her activities.
(3): Did those who went from 1-2 ever feel like they regret that decision? Regret probably isn’t the right word but hopefully you catch my drift. Did it make your life a lot harder? Did you feel like it was worth it? Did it hurt your marriage?
I apologize that this is so scattered but I needed to get this out. It feels like I think about this constantly because my daughter is getting older and I wouldn’t want to have a large age gap so it feels like my clock is ticking and having responses from experienced parents will hopefully help ease my anxiety. Thanks for reading!!!
