Shorter parents, do y’all worry about your son’s eventual height and whether or not it will prevent him from marrying if he so desires?

[phillip2015]

Tbh I’m a bit on the short side at 5’7 and 25M. I’m dating a woman who’s like 5’0-5’1 and sometimes I wonder if this leads to marriage and have children, would the boys end up being say 5’4? And could this be a major impediment to them finding a spouse (assuming they’re cis, het, and desire marriage)?

What are y’all thoughts on the topic? Has this ever made you feel worried or concerned? If not, what do you find reassurance in with this issue?

 

[jessy200]

@phillip2015 In my opinion, if height is the biggest problem your son faces in life, thats a pretty damn good life.

 

[quort]

@phillip2015 I have a male friend who is 5'4" and his gf is almost 6'. They live together seemingly happily.

I used to work with another guy who was 5'5" who was married with kids.

Yeah, there are height supremacists out there but there are also a lot of people who don't care. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[kaygie]

@phillip2015 No. Short men have relationships, too. And genes for height are not an average of both parents. My spouse's dad is about 5'8". Mom is about 5'4. One of their kids is 6'4. Genetics are tricky things, and I would focus on raising decent, kind children rather than worry about their height. They'll be fine.

 

[phillip2015]

@kaygie Wow that’s crazy, cool to hear and good advice

 

[starmesmom]

@phillip2015 My oldest son is the same height as my brother and my dad, 5'8. My youngest is 6'2" , taller than his dad (6'). I'm 5'2". My brother is 5'8", his wife is 5'2" and their son is 6'2".

When the doctor told me my oldest would be about 5'8", I said: Oh! Really?

He was an older doctor and he looked me dead in the eye, and said: Please let that be the last time you ever express any negative feelings about his height. This is why shorter men sometimes grow up with a chip on their shoulders.

I was appropriately chastised and never said another word. My oldest cares nothing about his height. His wife is 5'5". Their son is extrapolated to be about 6'4" by how tall he is now.

My 6'2" son had marked a height "goal" line on the doorframe when he was 12. He came up an inch short.

Guess which person in the family gets the most shit about their height? Yep -- the tallest one who had a goal height.

My point-- just like having interracial children, it ain't like mixing paint. Focus on raising your kids to be kind and generous and to be loving.

Also teach them the difference between goals and desires so their siblings don't mock them for all eternity.

 

[freddiealgon]

@phillip2015 Height doesn’t impede you from finding a spouse, but I’ve noticed it certainly causes self confidence issues in some men. Statistically most people settle down with partners around their same height.

 

[dichthuatdn60]

@phillip2015 My husband is 5'8 and I am 6'1. We have been together almost 29 years and our height differences have never been a problem.

BTW my SIL and BIL are both shorter than my husband and my nephew is almost as tall as me. Family genetics, health and nutrition play into how tall someone ends up.

 

[christiangirl30]

@phillip2015 My husband and I are both short. We got married so it didn't stop us. I am not worried about my son. Among the general adult population seeking someone with whom to parent and spend a lifetime, there are usually a lot of things that are bigger priorities than height.

Toddler is currently 90th percentile for height (we both have tall siblings so maybe the genes got through somehow?) but we are trying really hard to raise him to be thoughtful, good-humoured, genuine, and curious which I hope will make him a great friend or partner regardless of his physical traits. The greater impediment to successful relationships is BY FAR confidence. I never cared about my husband's height because he doesn't have a weird complex about it.

 

[phillip2015]

@christiangirl30 Okay that is a good outlook, thanks

 

[asker]

@phillip2015 This is literally only a thing in the USA. I've never heard of anyone caring in other countries.

 

[donna8558]

@asker Definitely not literally only a thing in USA.

Just watched a Vice documentary about an Indian man who underwent a horrible and risky surgery to gain 14 cm of height because he wasn’t taken seriously — and dude had a masters degree. (Or was it a PhD?) Anyway, he was hugely successful, but it was like it meant nothing because he was “short”.

Height matters in many societies. It’s utterly ridiculous and shouldn’t matter at all — but it isn’t just America.

 

[lena_the_lena]

@phillip2015 I'm (female) 5'10" and taller than my husband. Height really doesn't matter.

 

[sarah41]

@phillip2015 My husband is 5'3. He has never had any problems having women in his life. He struggled with it obviously when he was younger. He got into sports- especially wrestling and that gave him a lot of self confidence. He has a confidence and charisma about him that I don't think most people even realize he's a shorter guy. If a woman doesn't like a man because he's not a certain height, that's her problem.

 

[justkevin85]

@phillip2015 Our pediatrician told us that to guess the height of your children you add mom + dads heights, average it, then add 3-4” for boys and 2” for girls.

That said, I’m 5’8 with long legs and an addiction to heels. My husband is 5’5. He says he loves walking into a room with me and feels nothing but pride!

 

[katrina2017]

@phillip2015 not really; but you gotta teach your lad to spit mad game though.

 

[arengs]

@phillip2015 Lol no. My boys are all going to be way taller than my puny 5'1

 

[bgw]

@phillip2015 I only worry about my son being short because the world is not built with short people in mind.

General health and nutrition can play a big role in final height.

To give an idea on how weird genetics can be:

I am very short: 4'10". My dad stands about 5'8ish, while my mom is around 5'4". Both sets of grandparents were of average height or taller than average. I don't have anything genetic going on to cause my shortness that I know of. I was not a healthy kid in general, so was on a lot of antibiotics and steroids. I wonder if all of those had an effect on when I stopped growing.

Maternal side family pictures look a bit comical because I have a cousin who stands 6'5" (would be taller except for the scoliosis.) All of my cousins except for 2 are all taller than average height for their sex. My one uncle isn't quite average height married a woman who was barely average height, and their boy and girl are about the same height as their parents. My half sister is 5.5 years younger than me, and is over 6 inches taller; people would assume she was the older sister by the time she was barely 12.

My husband is 5'10" so I have hope that my kid will avoid being short. Seeing as my 3 year 4 month old son is already 3'5" I don't really worry about it much anymore.

 

[kikku]

@phillip2015 My dad is 5'4". His current wife is 5'8". He's been married twice and never had issues finding girlfriends.

 

[truthseekerisabeau]

@phillip2015 My bf is 5'4 and I'm 5'6. We are happy and even though we are just together for 8 months, we think we are right for each other!