[Serious] Parents who feel that preschool/pre-k teachers are “just babysitters”: why do you feel that way?

[naomi_sarai]

I’m a Pre-K teacher, and this is something that I’ve always wanted to ask parents about. It is incredibly frustrating when people consider Pre-K to be nothing more than “daycare.” Being treated as a “babysitter”rather than an educator can feel very demeaning. What is your thought process behind this?

I can share this info. While it used to be primarily for socialization years ago, Pre-K is now much more focused on academics as well. Some people feel that it is now the equivalent of what Kindergarten used to be, Kindergarten curriculum is what first grade used to cover, and so on. There have also been many studies/articles showing the importance of Pre-K as it pertains to early childhood development.

In order to teach Pre-K, I have to have a degree and a teaching certification. I have to follow state guidelines and curriculum. It is not an easy job by any means. I feel that my role isn’t much different than that of a Kindergarten teacher...except for the fact that it is often much less respected.

 

[jeyaraj]

@naomi_sarai I'm a parent but also have worked in ECE and have a degree in it.

I think there are sooooo many layers, and I'm not sure where you're from, but I live in the US and I think caregiving work just isn't valued here. It is thought to be women's work (which isn't true, of course!) and our society doesn't value women. I really think it is a deeply engrained belief that people don't realize that they are perpetuating. Very sad.

 

[carolus]

@jeyaraj This is so true. My son started asking at three years old why all of his teachers were women. He's six now and still can't understand why he hasn't had any male teachers.

 

[fullquiver]

@jeyaraj Well said. I saw hundreds of early childhood teachers (where student teachers were placed). The two most amazing kindergarten teachers, and the most amazing second grade teacher, were all men. One retired, one finished a Ph.D. and is now an associate professor, and one moved to middle school. Ah well.

 

[daveautumn2]

@naomi_sarai I don't feel that way but as a parent, you rarely get a break from caregiving, at that age. Our kid was so much more independent when at school. That's why it's been very hard for some parents to switch into educator mode this past year, with remote learning, but it's possible with boundaries and routine. Kids that age literally need their parents, so much. Kids also decompress with their parents, after the school day, so often the pre-k teacher gets the best part of the kid's day. Finally, a lot of parents don't see their kids as independent people, so I would try not to take that personally, if you are.

 

[katrina2017]

@naomi_sarai I know people who equate it to babysitting because "there's nothing they can teach a 4yr old that I can't" and I mean... by that logic, my son is doing the same degree program in university that I did, so I should be able to teach him everything he needs to know...

A lot of people who haven't tried to teach don't understand the real difference between knowing a thing and teaching a thing. Plus little kids are literally soaking up info and learning all the time, so it feels to the parents like they're already teaching the kid (and they are), so how is sending them to preschool any different?

But in reality, it's so different on so many levels. I think some people just don't realize that.

 

[katrina2017]

How is it different? If I am teaching my 3yo math and his colors, science etc why is it different/"better" if a teacher at school does it? I would think a good parent knows their kid best.

 

[winning]

@katrina2017 I never would have realized all the difficulties my son was having had it not been for his preschool teacher. I didn’t realize how delayed his learning/understanding was. I don’t know what’s “normal” vs “a little behind” vs “warning warning warning - this kid needs help!”.

She does and she also knows how to address those gaps and difficulties. He has been with her for three years and she has definitely prepped him for kindergarten not only with knowledge but also with a plan and understanding of what works for him to pass on to his next teacher.

He does go to public preschool and had an individual education plan within the special Ed (though he is in a general classroom).

 

[carolus]

@katrina2017 A trained preschool teacher will understand development and learning in a much deeper way than your average parent.

They're learning so much more than numbers and colors at that age.

 

[landonnate]

@katrina2017 Not better, just valid that they are literally teaching all day versus just keeping kids alive and fed until pickup time.

And for us, it is better even though we take a lot of opportunity to teach at home too. My son is 3.5 and has been in a Montessori school since he was 9 months. As another commenter said, I didn't know what we weren't teaching him until he came home doing it--like the signing, as just one example. Yeah we could have taught that, but it never occurred to us. There are so many things he learns and--as importantly--ways they present material. Plus, we're busy with life at home, and it's great for anyone who can teach their little a structured program, but we're teaching incidentally and on the fly. ("We're going to Grandma's! We're turning right. Now we're going to go right again! We're going left this time!!") Plus the structure and socializing without mom or dad around teaches valuable skills where he's gotta figure it out sometimes because his teachers lead the discussion but it's up to the kids to resolve a conflict and those teacher are pleasantly matter of fact about it.

PS, as far as not knowing what we didn't know, we had no idea what Montessori is. Silly us, we waited until I was about 6 months pregnant to look for daycare (which is what it was to me then) and this was the only school or daycare we could find that had a spot for a baby in our vicinity. Very happy accident.

Edit for spelling.

 

[patrick1975]

@katrina2017 Preschool’s primary focus is social/emotional development. Sure you can do a homeschool with your child but they can’t learn these very important life skills outside of a peer group. I am a preschool teacher in a Reggio Emilia style school and we get do get children from time to time who have never been in a social setting and have absolute zero self regulation or social skills. It’s more about practical life rather than ABC’s and 123’s.

 

[katrina2017]

@naomi_sarai Definitely not, our sons kindergarten teacher used to teach grade 8 and she had a mental breakdown halfway through her first year. K-3 should be making more than other teachers in my opinion

 

[lotusflower]

@naomi_sarai As a school psych student, there are so many people out there who think that because kids are "so silly" and "can't form memories before age 5" (yes there are literally people out there who think kids have no ability to remember anything for any length of time at that age. Interesting conversations with parents there) that they can't possibly benefit from academic instruction. They don't tend to look for the progress their kids are making and instead focus on the negative things.

Not to say I hold any of this against this subset of parents. It's honestly just a lack of good, accessible education about what their kids do and what they need at that age mixed with the stress of being a parent. It's just rough when you know how hard you work to improve their lives and overall adaptive and academic functioning only to turn around and be treated like a passive gatekeeper only there to keep kids from running away while there parents work. It has to weigh on you over time.

 

[ilovemoon]

@lotusflower My first memory was from when I was 3 years old. I threw a shoe at the cable guy because I'd watch Rainbow Bright every day after my nap. On this day, I wake up to the cable guy working on our cable so I was very upset. I also remember my timeout. And the entire layout of the house we lived in from the time I was 2 until 3½.

I remember more from my early years than I remember from the last 3 years...

 

[fullquiver]

@ilovemoon This is spot on, What a punch line.

 

[mminer237]

@naomi_sarai My daughter started going to a tiny rural preschool here in the UK in September - only 10 or so kids in the entire school. A few months later in January this year, they identified possible developmental delays. My daughter was only speaking 2 words at this point. They contacted the area special educators to arrange an assessment. The special educators also gave a lot of excellent suggestions and advice to the teachers. They said they'd change how they teach my daughter compared to other kids. Just over a month later, she was speaking entire sentences, despite not meeting the special educators yet.

I have every respect for them and its most definitely not daycare or just baby sitters. They all are EYFS qualified too which isn't something to sneeze at.

 

[winning]

@mminer237 This was our experience too. Noticed delays that I didn’t even know were delays and then worked hard to make accommodations to help him.

I had never planned to send mine to preschool as I’m a SAHM who did not do preschool. But our son was speech delayed and it was recommended we send him per early intervention specialists that had been coming to our house. So we did - and his preschool teacher really came to understand him and the root of his difficulties. He will go to kindergarten next year with an entire plan in place, formulated by his teacher, occupational therapy and school psych, for him to be successful. He has ADHD and they have adapted to meet his needs.

I was so impressed that we are sending our typically developing daughter next year and I am fully in the preschool is amazing camp now.

My experience with our son has made me want to become a classroom aide when mine are a bit older - I want to give parents the same “we’ve got this, he is loved here” peace of mind that I received from his team

 

[katrina2017]

@naomi_sarai I feel that way. But let me tell you why- it's not because I think you do a bad job or are not trying to teach! It is because there are often too many kids in a classroom and I think there is no one size fits all education. So, some kids will always get screwed over in a group setting, I can't take it super seriously because of that and also arcahic punishment/discipline ideas. Plus outdated and imo bad curriculum (again likely not teachers individual fault!) Just my 2 cents. I think it should be for socialization ONLY and not some education goals that nobody takes seriously/are outdated. But, ... I'm going to home school. And most of my friends homeschool. So maybe bias I guess

 

[thebibleman]

@katrina2017 Agree. Academics are forced so young on these children since preschools are usually connected to a school district. Gotta pump up those standardized test scores somehow /s

Side note: in a district I used to work for one of the standards was for kindergarten students to write a full paragraph by the end of the year. Ignoring that some kids’ fine motor skills are simply not ready for that and it is painful and frustrating for them. Plus their new thing is letting kids spell words however they want to instead of correcting the spelling to get them to write as much as possible.

Sorry that turned into a random side rant but it all starts at the developmentally inappropriate preschool level

 

[bytehoven]

@naomi_sarai Interesting. I think what the pandemic has taught us about education is that when you get right down to it, all school is childcare. Teachers have complained about being called babysitters forever, and then were faced with the reality that schools always had to stay open for some- so the country could run.

I don't mean that as a reflection on you, I'm sure you're very skilled op, I mean it as a reflection on how society is set up.