stevirusky
New member
My coparent and I have 2 boys 14 with ADHD and 11 with ODD. We have been separated for 7 years now and just this past March he moved to the city where we live. This is the first time we are in the same city. Up until then we lived between 2-10 hours apart and I have done A-Z including making sure they have therapy and sports to participate in.
He works construction and leaves his house as early as 6 and returns between 3-7pm. In the past when our sons were staying with him his girlfriend took care of everything. Now they are not together so my sons are expected to take care of themselves. I’m not exactly comfortable with this but understand that it’s the way it is when they are at his place.
Now with the school year starting up soon we are trying to agree on a permanent schedule. He wants week on week off, this is ok with me but I am concerned he will not be available for the boys’ needs such as therapy, sports practice and after school program pick ups. And they will have to fend for themselves with meals. I’ve always ate clean and cooked everything for them because that helps with ADHD and ODD. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant so to be honest the week on and week off will help me and my partner a lot, I’m just concerned about what I just mentioned. And how much of an impact this will have on the boys when they are at my place.
Their dad also wants to buy clothes and shoes for them to keep at his home and I buy my own clothes and shoes to keep at my place. This does not seem right to me, it should be up to the boys what clothes and shoes they want to keep and use at any time so I think dad and I should be splitting the cost of clothes and shoes and letting the boys pack and use whatever whenever.
I am not sure how to proceed with this because I’ve never had to deal with this until now with him living in the same city. I guess I want your input with experience and feedbacks.
He works construction and leaves his house as early as 6 and returns between 3-7pm. In the past when our sons were staying with him his girlfriend took care of everything. Now they are not together so my sons are expected to take care of themselves. I’m not exactly comfortable with this but understand that it’s the way it is when they are at his place.
Now with the school year starting up soon we are trying to agree on a permanent schedule. He wants week on week off, this is ok with me but I am concerned he will not be available for the boys’ needs such as therapy, sports practice and after school program pick ups. And they will have to fend for themselves with meals. I’ve always ate clean and cooked everything for them because that helps with ADHD and ODD. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant so to be honest the week on and week off will help me and my partner a lot, I’m just concerned about what I just mentioned. And how much of an impact this will have on the boys when they are at my place.
Their dad also wants to buy clothes and shoes for them to keep at his home and I buy my own clothes and shoes to keep at my place. This does not seem right to me, it should be up to the boys what clothes and shoes they want to keep and use at any time so I think dad and I should be splitting the cost of clothes and shoes and letting the boys pack and use whatever whenever.
I am not sure how to proceed with this because I’ve never had to deal with this until now with him living in the same city. I guess I want your input with experience and feedbacks.