S.O.S. Second baby coming tomorrow and I’m panicking

rickram

New member
I’m currently the dad of an 18 month old boy. He is the culmination of all the things I have done in my life. He is my best friend and the reason I wake up in the morning. Tomorrow, my fiancé is being induced with our second(*surprise) baby and I’m really struggling.
We’ve nested and readied ourselves for the arrival of another child. Tonight is our last night as a family of three. What i’m really struggling with is that we are going to the hospital tomorrow. Our son is going to spend his very first night away from home(at his grandparents), without one of his parents. At some point tomorrow I am going to pick up my baby boy, my first born, the most perfect thing I have ever made, I’ll put him down, tell him good bye; We’ll go to the hospital, have a baby, who I’ll hold and will be amazingly tiny and when I pick my boy up I know he is going to feel so heavy. How do I prepare myself for that? How did y’all cope? How do you handle two under two?
 
@rickram My 2nd is now actually 18 months, while my first will be 4 y/o in about 2 weeks.

We had the older stay with his grandparents until we got Mommy and the new baby home and settled, then they brought our oldest home.

Wife had a c-section, so was laid up in bed with the newborn for close to 2 weeks, while I was mainly with our older son helping him adjust to sleeping in his room by spending the night on a pull out there, and just making sure he felt the love too.

Didn't actually get a ton of interaction with new baby till around week 2 or so.

Was absolutely as worried as you are, how could I ever love someone as much as I loved my 1st child? Then momma could get up and get mobile a bit, and I spent some time with the newborn, and I fell in love all over again.

Whichever one I've seen more recently tends to be the one I love most at any given moment in time. Your heart just grows.

My big boy still feels small and light and wonderful. He's starting to read, and learn, and do all these amazing things we're so proud of... my youngest is a chaotic terrorist, but he's also so incredibly sweet, and smart and amazes us every day.

Just let yourself love 'em, and trust it'll work out.

You'll be busy, but as long as you and your wife balance the load it's not overwhelming. Just busy, but very happy (and yeah super dead ass tired).
 
@rickram it will be work....but it'll work out. me? got a surprise 3rd baby. our daughter just turned 2. so almost 2 under 2. being on the older side (am 46 now, baby is now 14 months). didn't help. but as is anything in life....ain't nothin' to it but to do it. you got this dad!
 
@rickram Mine are 1.5 and 3.5. Number two was no big deal. It really comes down to the baby and the delivery. Number 1 stayed with grandparents while we were in the hospital for 3 days following a scheduled c-section for 2. We could have stayed another day but wanted to be home. We’ve spent too much time in hospitals for other reasons. Number 1 had spent nights with grandparents before so they were fine. They also largely ignored their new sibling. Number 2 could not have been much easier. They were a solid 9/10 on the easy scale. Number 2 was 9.9/10 on the difficulty room but had mellowed by the time they got a sibling. We also moved out kids to their own rooms fairly early so there were no adjustments there. Good luck!
 
Back
Top