Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by your toddler 🙋‍♀️

[martinfuchs]

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by your toddler

I have 2 kids. My daughter is 3 and my son is 1. I was a SAHM until my son was about 4 months old. I am working full time and have a supportive husband. We both get home about 5 o clock. I am constantly overwhelmed. My daughter seems to have a personal problem with me. Never listens and does things to spite me. If I try to reprimand her, she doesn’t seem to care. If I threaten dad getting involved she sort of cares but won’t listen until dad actually steps in.
I am full of mom rage constantly. She will whine and cry and it drives me BANANAS. I tend to repeat myself and when I’m annoyed with that I immediately go to yelling. I ask her to please stop. Basically beg and she doesn’t seem to care or understand. When I hear the shrieking and the whining it turns me into the angriest woman. It’s like it flips a switch and I can’t turn it off. I stomp around and have an attitude myself. She’s contagious. I just want to feel good after a long day of working and want to enjoy seeing my family.

 

[kitteh]

@martinfuchs I will say this....

The calmer you are... the calmer they are.

I also have a 1 and 3 year old. It's rough.

So so many factors at play here. But I'll say this... resetting helps us a lot. Shake it off and offer chances at praise for doing well. Luckily my daughter responds a lot to "good job" "high 5" "such a big girl"

 

[mirag]

@martinfuchs Oof. That's rough. I have no advice to share but I will commiserate with you. I also have a threenager. She frequently says / screams NO when it's time to change tasks. Even runs away. I've had to grab and carry her to the dinner table, bathroom for bath time, etc. One night she kept struggling to get away when it was bathtime and I gave up. Told her she'll just have to skip bathtime today, let's clean up with wipes and get your pajamas on. She immediately started crying saying "You aren't going to make me take a bath? But I wanna take a bath!"

 

[human1000]

@martinfuchs oh mama. first this is hard, so hard. you are doing the best you can and you gotta show yourself some grace. some things for you to consider:

-what would you need to do to get the whining to not alter your mood. your kid is gonna do it and you are gonna get annoyed, but what are you going to do to keep the scenario headed in the right direction. my sil simply “can’t hear whining” in kids old enough to understand, and her kids quit super fast.

-she might miss you and feel jealous of your job and son. can you set aside a small period of one on one time each day. even if it’s a 10 minute snuggle or puzzle? your hubby has to stick with the little guy and not big the two of you unless the house is burning down

-stop yelling. reactions are interesting. practice super bored, super neutral tones. ask once ask for a repeat back and then assist if she doesn’t cooperate

-she is gonna model you, so if you stomp around, that validates her behavior

-consider if she has too much sugar or screen time. does she have fun, age appropriate items to keep her occupied. Is she physically comfortable? does she have time and space to get her energy out during the day?