Question for trilingual families

[matt11confused]

Hi all! We have an almost 1-year-old baby and we are doing OPOL. My husband and I have basic knowledge of each other’s language but not enough to be conversational. We speak English to each other. We noticed that when we say words or phrases in the other parent’s language, baby finds it HILARIOUS. For example, I noticed him say ‘hi’ in my husband’s language, so I said it back in that language, and he was laughing so hard he was snorting. Or he said an approximation of ‘cat’ in my language, and my husband noticed and said the word for cat in my language. Baby was roaring with laughter. Of note, baby does not laugh when we repeat back words to him in our respective languages. What do you think this is about? What do y’all do when you notice baby speaking in the other parent’s language that you are not fluent in, especially as baby gets older? We were planning to do strict OPOL, but it’s so tempting to help baby out at this stage when he’s learning to say his first words.

 

[barsomo]

@matt11confused Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun! Most likely he already understands that you are speaking a language that you normally don’t speak, and he finds it hilarious. If you want to do OPOL, then it’s better to stick to your own languages as speaking a language that you’re not fluent in isn’t really “helping out”. As for what you should do when the baby speaks the other parent’s language (to you, I presume?) is to speak your language back to them. Good luck!

 

[dmit5487ivan]

@matt11confused My daughter found it hilarious as well when I tried speaking to her in my wife's language or if my wife tried to talk in my language. Now that she is older she tries to correct us.
But in general she prefers her mother's language and switches to mine when she has no other choice.

 

[meshaa]

@matt11confused We have the same setup as you. Our kiddo is almost 3 and speaks all 3.

My husband and I don't speak each other's language but have picked up some understanding along the way. On the rare occasion my husband repeated words in my language, kiddo would find it funny. In our case I think it's a combination of her knowing it's outside of the norm + he's trying to be funny + she finds his accent funny. When I do that, for some reason she does not find it funny and mostly doesn't react (although I am very sure my accent is very poor).

Overall, she knows very well who can speak what language, including with our relatives and friends. We stick with OPOL and it's worked pretty well.

 

[frustratedhusband]

@meshaa my nephew Gabriel was upset when i said words in german and said very clearly "apfel" is dad, mimi is manzana (both my sister and I spoke spanish to him)
and the common language to us three adults was french (so he actually said "nooooo, apfel c'est papa! mimí c'est manzana!"

 

[matt11confused]

@meshaa So interesting! I am so impressed with babies’ abilities.

 

[colbaltheart]

@matt11confused Yes, even when my son was very, very young he would always give me a concerned but amused look if I spoke in my wife’s language.

A friend told me a story about he and his wife speak different languages with their son and one time his son had a nightmare. They ask him what’s wrong. The son said the nightmare was his parents speaking the wrong language! The wife was speaking the husband’s language and husband was speaking wife’s language.

 

[aldredian]

@matt11confused Yeah, my son did that at that age. What it means is your baby can CLEARLY hear the other parent saying the words in the other language wrong.

So for example, my son would give my mum an English book and she'd read it and my son will start laughing because he can clearly hear my mum's not fluent and also, pronouncing things incorrectly. He absolutely cackles with laughter whenever my MIL says anything in Mandarin. If we ask him if granny said it right (these days - he's almost 4) he says, "Noooooooooo".

Pretty funny.

If baby says words in the other language, you can just acknowledge and say it in your language. No need to repeat in the same language.

"Ball"
"Yes, ball" (in your language)

But also, no harm done if baby thinks it's hilarious.

 

[matt11confused]

@aldredian Yes, I like that approach. I knew babies pick up languages quickly, and to see it unfold in front of my eyes is something else!

 

[maximilianosss]

@matt11confused Hey.. we're bilingual and this post warms my heart.

My little one is close to 6m now and he giggles when daddy tries to speak to him in my language (I'm Portuguese, partner is English and we like in the UK). This is partner's effort to learn as I speak with baby but it makes it so much more fun seeing his reaction. So lovely to know it's not unique to us