Pre-K teacher says my 4 year old is stealing

@natalijaasbj No tv is definitely not our bonding time. As for the school there is about 2 hours between kids leaving and the teachers end of workday. So running my kid back to school was met with her teacher.

I just went to get the groceries and cook dinner and normally she get to watch tv while I cook now she got to help cooking.

I just scratched out her fun time as screen time. As we had to do shopping and cooking dinner. So we definitely had more bonding time than ever that day.

People are very fast in thinking my kid was worse off with me as the parent I just know my kid has the attention span of a gold fish and wouldn’t have remembered that she stole the pawn of the game at school the next morning.

So the consequences of her action had to follow the crime. Bring back what she stole and bad behavior was not met with rewards such as screen time.

I’m not all that wicked. Just groceries for the family and cooking dinner…
 
@worshipguitar as a preschool teacher this happens so often! we just say, "things from home stay at home (like toys and special trinkets) and "things from our classroom stay in our classroom." Most of these kids understand this concept! I don't know any 4 year old that really understands what 'stealing' is but the feeling of embarrassment from this they do. I'm glad you talked to them, took it seriously, and gave them a hug. They need it.
 
@worshipguitar I think the teacher is trying to impose an adult’s view of morality on a small child who can barely comprehend the idea of ownership. You can try to teach only walking away with things you brought to the school yourself, but kids are just naturally going to walk away with things if they’re interesting to them.

This is very different than a pre-k child biting or hitting, they inherently know that hitting is wrong, but it takes a lot of time to understand what belongs to the school and when it is or isn’t okay to take something with you.

If the teacher digs in their heels, then escalate to someone higher up and hopefully they will be a reasonable human being.
 
@hblock123 Yes, that teacher REALLY needs to take some child development classes!! Kids that young are very, very rarely taking things maliciously or even w the intent of “stealing.” My kid loved little treasures from school, art camp, anywhere. They just wished so much to have these things or be able to use them at home, and had magical thinking that they could bring them home and no one would notice. I hope that teacher learns to speak more kindly and to actually teach children about “school materials“ and “home materials” instead of frighten or shame them. I’m sorry that happened to your kid.
 
@worshipguitar Please watch this TikTok by a Montessori preschool teacher about this topic. She explains it as being a trinket stage and that it’s perfectly normal. I think it’ll make you feel a lot better.
link
 
@sumby My son came home with shoes full of crayons one day at this age. Walked all the way home like it, he complains if he feels a tiny stone in his shoes! He took them off and all the crayons fell out. Had to try not to laugh at that one while reminding him that school things stay at school and he had to give them to his teacher the next day.
 
@worshipguitar Marbles in their pockets?! Clearly, the child needs jail time 🙄 🤣
Good grief what is the teacher's problem? If it were me the most I'd probably say is "Those need to stay here in the classroom with the game. That way we can play next time." She had no right to say that to your child. You are the parent it is up to you how you address things like this. Plus it's a 4 year old...they usually don't understand the concept of stealing. Anyway I'm sorry you even had to deal with that.
 
@hollywoodb It's also passing along the teachers negligence in checking that all the pieces of the game have been properly put away. Expecting the children to do it by themselves is a dangerous option when it comes to small loose pieces like marbles etc. She should have helped, noticed the parts missing and not made a big deal about "who has (stolen) them".
 
@worshipguitar Your four year old was doing normal four year old stuff. This teacher shouldn’t be in this profession. My son was at a daycare and around 3 1/2 I had one of the teachers tell me he was “in a gang.” Constantly complaining about him and the group of friends he made doing normal 3 1/2 year old things. We changed daycares and it was the best decision we ever made.
 

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